Ep. 52 | 🍿Comment Chaos: Listener Reactions, Voice Notes, and Safe Space Real Talk
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hey legends. I'm about to go grab lunch and I thought let's quickly record a comment chaos episode. Because these are fun. And just so you know, I do have clothes on. If you're watching on YouTube, I'm just going to move to the side a second. So you can see, I do actually have a top on it. Cause I feel like when I'm behind the microphone, it covers up my clothes a bit.
If it's a shoulder LIS like I'm not wearing a t-shirt. But I'm not here in the nude I promise you. All right. Let's talk about the safe spaces episode. I had such great conversations. After that safe spaces episode went live. If you haven't listened to it, make sure you listen to that one so that this makes sense. But one of the things I actually got permission from someone who messaged me on Instagram and did a voice note to me about this episode, I asked for their permission to actually play you what they said so that we can discuss it because I thought they had such great points.
So here we go. They gave me their permission.
Hi, Holly. You can hear me. Okay. That makes [00:01:00] him crazy traffic. I was just listening to your latest episode, how. Oh, my God. It was so good. I was sitting in the car going. Yes. Yes.
So I had things that jumped out to me.
Honestly, I love
emotional daycare for adults. Brilliant.
It sounds like. You've been on your own. With this stuff and I have.
Hi.
So, firstly, I think safety's an inside job. That's what I learned. And it sounds like, you know that too. Um, I always wanted the world to be safe. And then I realized that safety was an inside job. And I think you're right about control. They're trying to control. The environment. It feel safe. And actually what they need to learn to do is to. Internal master. The internal environment. Rather than trying to what [00:02:00] makes the world safe? The other thing that's happened with the whole woke movement. Is that.
It's destroyed freedom of speech and people.
And I struggle with. I'll be honest. I struggled with that.
And I think the, what happens. It's the people that we actually genuinely need to. Be mindful of. I go underground. So they hide, they kind of a hundred, one 10 bed, a tent, and they hide their nasty parts. If you don't know who people are anymore, because everyone's being so fucking politically correct. I know it does. Rather, no. Oh, that person's an asshole.
I need to stay away from them. Um, so I think that's kind of what's happened. Um, With the whole freedom of speech. Thanks. And the safety movement. Um, But you're right. Like for me, when I was like, I was quite traumatized and had complex PTSD. I [00:03:00] actually needed safe spaces for a while. I'm not really helped me heal. But then I went, oh, Actually now I think when I started to realize I needed to get safe for me to get in touch with my body and to get in touch with my emotions.
And then I had this light bulb moment of, oh, safety's an inside job. I've got to stop looking for it from outside. Um, And then. You were right about retreats. So I don't know if you know this, I teach yoga. Not teaching at the moment, but. One of the things I noticed with retrace. It was like, well, people will go on retreat and have this amazing experience and relax.
And there's some value in that. But then they just go back to their dysfunctional behaviors and their dysfunctional lives. So that's why I kind of went whining to add. Coaching and then root cause therapy to help people actually see this stuff. And there's a yoga teacher in America called Leslie coming off.
And he says, if people aren't careful yoga can reinforce your, [00:04:00] he calls it neurosis. Mr reinforced.
Um, or unhelpful patterns of behavior. Um, so I thought that was really interesting. So, yeah, amazing episode. It's so good. You're talking about this stuff. Um, yeah, loving it. Keys keep doing it. It's so, so awesome. Um, and I'm going to send you this thing to the episode. I think I'm about two thirds of the way through. But I was like, oh my God, this is so good.
I'll have. Holly, your message. Alright talk soon. Bye. What an absolute legend. I want to say a couple of things on these one. Thank you so much for your voice note. Like. Guys, if you don't already, you know, I love receiving voice messages because it just. I don't know. Ads that human element. It's like, I can hear your voice. I love talking to you guys.
So feel free anytime. Like anytime. Literally voicenote me. I bloody love it. Go on my Instagram and voice note me, especially when it comes to feedback on podcast episodes, whether that be your own personal opinion, your takeaways. [00:05:00] Something you disagree with, if you listen to an episode and you're like, Yeah, Holly, I don't see it that way.
This is the way I see it. Share it with me because I would love to share your feedback in the comment chaos episodes. Because this is how we all grow and have more understanding of each other as humans. But one of the pointsIs about safe spaces are still important by the way, this is my wording.
Not hers. They can help for a period of time in life. So for instance, she mentioned that she had, she used to have complex PTSD. You're obviously not going to go on, throw yourself in the fire of uncomfortable conversations and being around uncomfortable people. 24 7. If you have a complex PTSD. You're going to want to be in something that resembles some form of a safe space, whether that is people that are going through the same diagnosis that you've been given, right.
Or, you know, people that just are more gentle in their approach, for instance, because of maybe a particular thing you've gone through in your life or a particular trauma or whatever it might be. I'm not saying, go on, throw yourself in the fire. 24 [00:06:00] 7. We need to feel safety at times in life. And even at times in our day, for instance, I'm going off on a tangent, but let's say you do a big challenge and you go and public speak one day and it like pushes the limits of your comfort zone.
You're nervous. You're anxious all day. You get on stage, you do it afterward. Oh, I'm so good. I've done it. I guarantee after that, at some point that evening, you're going to crave comfort. You're going to just crave. Maybe it's go home, run a bath, getting your pajamas and just snuggle up in bed like that is. Safe. Space.
Right. It's too. Recharge and kind of like let out all of the stress of the day. Okay. So I'm not against safe spaces. Full stop. I am against living in safe spaces, 24 7, cause we don't grow. Right. So I can't live in my pajamas in bed 24 7, but God damn. That's awesome. After like at the end of the day, obviously, [00:07:00] but after I've just pushed myself out of my comfort zone to the point that I'm like, this is getting too much now, like I've done it.
I've pushed through it. I've seen that fear as a green light, rather than a red light. I've pushed through it. I've done the damn thing, but now I'm craving comfort again. Now I'm craving my humans. I'm craving my home. I'm craving my space. That's awesome. That's when a safe space has been used correctly or in the case of this legend who voiced noted me.
I can't remember if I asked her permission to say her name. So I won't say her name just in case, but. This legend who voice noted me, you know who you are. Absolute legend. I love you. yeah, there was a safe space for her and it served a purpose. It would be more damaging if she stayed in that safe space for the rest of her life though, and never been got out of that safe space.
And that was what she was saying. Incredible point. Thank you so much. Legend someone else actually we had messages and. Oops. My Instagram was playing. We had messages and voice noted each other. I [00:08:00] can't remember. I don't think I asked her permission to say her name. So I won't say it just in case, but one of the things that she mentioned, I took some dot points was possibly people who were drawn to running safe spaces. Who actually run these type of like safe space groups, for instance, they could also be the type I thought this is a really good point. Who. Maybe the type who don't like to feel so-called negative emotions.
So maybe there's a type who will bypass any emotion that's seen as negative and quickly try to fill it with a positive one. So the type who don't like to sit in the darkness in the shadows, in the pain in life, and instead are more positively geared by the way, this is my own paraphrasing. I am more positively geared.
Let me make that clear. So I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm saying the type who will bypass all forms of negativity, right? And maybe they create these safe spaces because they can control the parameters of the group. So for instance, if they're [00:09:00] creating a safe space for. X, Y Z they can control the parameters of what's being felt or what's being discussed.
And it's another form of potentially bypassing for them. That is a really good point. That could definitely be the case. Also, another thing that she mentioned was skillset. Sometimes we create, like, let's use the term healer for an example. There are people who call themselves healers out there. Potentially, they could create a very safe space to aid in healing during their sessions.
I fully understand that, but also maybe it could be to do with skillset. So in order to keep. The environment. S like safe because of a lack of skillset. That's a wise thing to do. You're not going to broach into subjects or topics that you have. No. Either personal life experience in or a skillset in,
that could be one way as well. So some really good conversations were had after that episode. And I'm just going to pop over to YouTube. We [00:10:00] actually don't have comments on YouTube on the main video, but also on pretty much any of the clips except for one rough seas. Make good sailors. I love that. That is such a great one.
Rough seas make good sailors. It's so true. We can't be cuddled in bubble wrapped all the time. There is a time and a place for it, and I want to make that clear in case I didn't make it clear in. The episode. Yes. There was a time and a place for safe spaces for our comfort zone. Absolutely. But then we've got to get out of it.
We can't stay in it forever. So rough seas make good sailors. Let's pop over to tick tock. That's usually an absolute minefield. Let's go have a look there for a sec. Dear God.
So one of the Tik TOK videos that went there
It was about how safe spaces might keep us comfortable, but they do Jack shit when life actually hits and life isn't about staying safe. It's about being resilient when things aren't safe. And so we've got one comment there from Einstein. He goes by, I don't know if Einstein's male or female, but they've said facts.
Life is about how much you [00:11:00] can tolerate. And it's true.
And one of the other tick top clips was about how the very thing that we're avoiding is often the exact thing that will set us free.
And so avoiding discomfort doesn't actually protect us. It just keeps us safe. Got a couple of comments there. Someone's just tagged someone. That's actually a spank. Common sense. Census said, people need to harden up and stop being weak cry babies. Straight to the point. Holy shit. You don't beat around the Bush.
I thought I was direct. I thought I was quite a direct human, but I've got to say sends you. There's no beating around the Bush with Yuma love.
And I think that's all we have for this one. There wasn't actually a huge amount of comments. Well, the thing I need to do actually is go back into YouTube and reply to comments from weeks gone by because I'm replying to them here. I think I've actually replied to them, but they might not see this video or any of the clips that come from it.
So I actually need to go in and reply, but yeah, I want to say thank you so much, guys. Thank you for voice. Noting me. Thank you for your messages. Thanks for comments on any of the clips or videos. It keeps the [00:12:00] conversation going. I do have comments from the body positive. Uh, movement episode that I did, but I'll keep that for a separate comment.
Chaos episode. We'll keep this one short sweet, juicy. And to the point a quickie for you today, legends, nothing like that on your whatever day it is. You're listening to this. So yeah. Enjoy your week. We'll chat again soon.
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