Ep. 07 | The 304 Lifestyle: Hookup Culture, Casual Sex, and Self-Worth
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hey, could you turn that down?
Welcome to controversial as fuck.
Welcome back legends. Welcome to another week in controversial as fuck. Today we are diving into the 304 lifestyle. That'll make sense in a second. Hookup culture, casual sex, and self worth. Another very juicy topic for you today. Now. I'm going to address why I don't actually support casual sex. Just bear with me for a second.
This is going to be a very in depth conversation, by the way. I'm covering off on so many points with this. So bear with me before you completely shut off. I'm not saying I don't support sex. Let me make that clear. But I'm going to explain to you why I don't support casual sex, but especially for women.
First off though, let's just break down what the crap does 304 even mean? Now it is a bit of a funny one. It's actually code word for the word hoe. So when you type 304 into a calculator, you flip it upside down. This is what the guys used to do in school. It spells hoe. This term is often linked obviously with hookup culture.
And I just want to make it clear. I'm not calling anyone a whore. You're not a hoe if you have casual sex. I'm not calling you a hoe, but it's important to understand the context as we dive into this topic because it does relate to what I'm talking about today. Now my vision views on casual sex and hookup culture actually apply to both men and women.
So everything that I'm talking about applies to both men and women. But as I dive into it, especially from a biological standpoint, You're going to actually see why from that standpoint, I think it's even more critical for women. What I'm talking about applies even more to women. Now before you start saying, Oh my God, she's done episodes on feminism and why she doesn't call herself a feminist.
Now she's talking about casual sex and why women shouldn't be engaging in casual sex. Are you just a woman hater? That's not it at all. I obviously I'm a woman myself. I think women are the most incredible creatures on the planet. Okay. So I'm not at all against women. I look at everything from a biological standpoint.
I really do. I think this is something that people have just thrown out the window lately. Like everyone seems to have forgotten basic fricking biology. What is going on with the world anyways? So I'm not here to hate on my fellow women. Okay. I love you ladies. I'm right here with you. I am also a woman.
But there is a bombardment of messages about sexual liberation, free sex, and empowerment. And it's an overwhelming message, especially for young women, like, Oh my God, I believe these messages actually aren't truly freeing or empowering. And I'm going to explain to you why. And. Listen, normally when you hear a woman come out and say, I don't actually agree with the hookup culture, normally they're either really, really older women, or they're women that can't seem to get men themselves.
And they tend to use the excuse of, Oh, I just don't agree with hookup culture. That's why To cover up the fact that either they struggle with intimacy or they just not putting themselves out there to, to date a man. Right. And I think it's very, very clear that there are also women who stand on this point quite strongly, who don't fit into either of these categories, like your average everyday woman who.
Yeah. Like what I'm saying is I'm not an old woman who's passed my prime. Okay. But I'm also not someone who is, you know, a complete prude. Okay. I, I think it's healthy for us to be able to like have discussions on this topic, to be able to actually talk about all points of this, but to have, um, representation is probably the word I'm trying to say from all different walks of life, because the most message we hear these days is just about sexual liberation for women.
And I think that it's not actually truly freeing or empowering. And I'm going to explain why. This episode though is free of, of judgment. I was about to say it's free of liberation. No, it's quite the opposite. It's very liberating. This episode is free of judgment and shame. So my goal is actually to provide insights that will help you see things from a different perspective.
Again, we often hear one very strong narrative out there, whether that be, for instance, the feminist movement. We hear very strongly like, If you don't call yourself a feminist as a woman, then you're anti women, or, you know, for instance, with this topic, if you don't support women to be able to have as much sex as they want, whenever they want, you're anti woman.
And I think that that's just not the right message to be sending out. I think we should look at all perspectives and we should ask questions about things. But again, this comes with no judgment and shame. Let's also be clear. Let me make this crystal freaking clear right from the beginning. Abstinence of sex out of fear of intimacy is not the message that I'm sending.
That's not what I'm talking about. Sex is one of the most beautiful acts in the world. I'm not anti sex. I'm really quite the opposite of that. I freaking love sex. Physical touch is actually my highest love language. Like that is how I receive love the best from someone is through physical touch. I love physical intimacy.
I'm here for all of it with someone who loves and respects you. And that's the difference. Not with a bunch of especially as a woman, like I can't make this any more clear and it'll make sense again, as I go through abstinence is not my message. I'm not saying never have sex. It's more about not buying into the lie of sexual liberation, especially as a woman, because it's sold as freedom, but underneath it, I actually see it as the opposite.
Also is it just a form of escapism and numbing? And so we're going to explore these ideas together. So to set the scene, I'm going to give you a quick overview of the points that I'm going to be covering. I'm going to go through the biological differences between men and women, because this absolutely is important to cover when we're talking about sex.
I'm going to go over our reproductive strategies for men and women, psychological and emotional differences in sexual behavior for men and women. It's important to cover this. I'm going to cover the sex, the casual, my God, I struggle with that word, the casual sex impact. So how casual sex affects men versus women.
Again, as I said in the beginning, everything that I say still applies to both men and women. This is not an episode about, it's not like I'm against casual sex just for women. That's not what this is about, but there is differences. So I'm going to go over how casual sex affects men versus women, as well as the societal perspectives and judgments, because there are differences.
I'm going to cover body count and relationships. So the importance of body count in long term relationships. Seriously, stick with me with this. I think a lot of this will actually fascinate you. I'm also going to cover trust value and the ability to pair bond. Pair bond is often something that is not talked about.
It's not like, I bet a lot of you listening to this will be like, I have never heard of that before. What the crap is pair bonding. I'm also going to talk about the implications of OnlyFans on women. This is a big one. I'm going to talk about the emotional and psychological impact, the biological and evolutionary factors.
I'm going to talk about, is it empowerment or exploitation? And then I'm going to offer up my very unique perspective and also some advice for you. From my own lens, from my own worldview, from my own life experience as well. So first off, let's just get into this because there's a lot that I want to cover with this episode, but for very damn good reasons.
So let's talk about the biological differences between men and women when it comes to sex. Let's talk about reproductive strategies first. So men, men produce millions of sperm every single day. It's kind of odd when you think about it, right? When you think men, literally millions every single day. Which means that they could potentially impregnate multiple women quite quickly.
Right? This supports a strategy from a biological standpoint that's focused on having many offspring. Men and women are different in this regard and I'm going to go through it. There's also paternity insurance issues when it comes to men. So as I just said, men produce millions of sperm every single day.
So they could, if they wanted to, in one day, potentially impregnate multiple women, depending on, you know, how quickly he can recover from the first round of sex, he could then move on to another woman and impregnate her if he has the drive to do so, right? That is how a man works. We're not the same women, we are different, but men can't be sure if a child is theirs.
They cannot, right? Obviously, yes, you can go and get DNA testing and all that, but put that aside for a second. Men cannot be sure if a child is actually theirs without a committed relationship. Which is why social structures like monogamy, marriage developed. Okay. That makes sense. Sure. A man can go on and impregnate a bunch of women in one day, but he could also be in relationship with a woman who could, for instance, be cheating on him and she could fall pregnant to another man.
And without actually having a DNA test done, he has no actual proof whether that child is actually his or not. This is why from, you know, as, as a reproductive strategy, why monogamy also makes sense. Uh, and, and assuring that that man is with a woman who is faithful because then he can prove, yeah, that child's mine women.
We have egg production, right? So we don't produce sperm. We have eggs. We are born with a limited number of eggs and we can only have children for a few decades. Right. We know that we can't just have children from the moment that we're born to the moment that we die. Let's say we're in our 80s. No, we only have a couple of decades where we actually can safely, you know, fall pregnant.
This makes each pregnancy more significant as a woman. Also, women can only carry one pregnancy at a time. It takes a lot more time and energy. So we tend to be more selective in choosing partners to ensure quality. Now, obviously there's always differences in this, but across the board, men can go and impregnate lots and lots of women, right?
Which assures that that their DNA is being passed throughout the world through generations to come. But obviously, as I said, they can't. They can't prove that all the children are theirs if the women are cheating on them and sleeping around, right? So obviously they, from a biological standpoint, would want a committed relationship with a woman or multiple women.
to prove that they are their children. Whereas women, we can only have one child at a time. And it's not like we just fall pregnant the day after we give birth. Like there is a period of, you know, it takes time and energy and we only have a couple of decades where we can fall pregnant, right? So that's the differences when we're looking at it from a reproductive strategy.
Let's go into more of sexual behavior and psychology for a second. Men have a desire for variety. Now, this is another one of those episodes. I feel like I say this in every single episode, but we need to take feelings out of this. We actually do, especially us women. We actually need to take feelings out of this episode and just look at the simple facts for a second.
You can bring your feelings back in. I mean, you can bring your feelings into it if you want to. I can't tell you what to do, but I encourage you As a fellow, fellow woman, please take your feelings out of this episode. If there's a point where maybe you want to bring your feelings back into it, wait until the end where I give my very strong opinion on this and absolutely have all your feelings in there.
But for now, let's just look at the facts. Men have a desire for variety. This is evolutionary, right? This is from men, like from centuries ago. Okay. Men benefit from spreading their genes widely. This is a thing. They benefit from that. Okay. It makes them more likely than to seek multiple partners. Now, this is not an episode where I'm supporting men having multiple partners.
I personally don't agree with that. I would not be with a man who wanted to suggest that he could have multiple partners. For instance, let's say I'm somebody's wife and he said, yeah, I wanna have another three wives. I'd be like, well that's, that ain't happening . Like, that's not happening. I am a one man woman and I want to be a one with a man who, I can't get my words out.
I wanna be with a man who only wants me. I don't care how much that might sound like I'm wanting all the devotion. Yeah. I fricking do want all the devotion. I'm not sharing that with another woman. I'm not supporting that, but I am saying, again, I'm taking my feelings out of this. Evolutionary, it makes freaking sense because they get to spread their genes widely, right?
This means that having multiple partners makes sense from a, you know, behavior and psychology perspective. Also, from a power perspective, men's social status often increases with their ability to provide resources. That's a big thing, right? It's in men to provide. It's in men to be the ones that provide the resources.
This also meant historically, going back on time, it's gone by, This also meant that they attracted multiple partners because if you think about it, a man who is seen as like the top dog in the community, he has all the resources, let's say for instance he has a lot of money, he has an ability to provide for multiple women, he wants to sow his seed and have his genes spread widely across the earth, he would attract multiple partners and like top level women as well.
That's a thing. Now, also, let's go into like the long, long lineage perspective of it, right? Men who mate with many partners have a better chance of fathering more children because this increases the number of descendants who can carry on their genes. Right. Just because a man is getting a woman pregnant doesn't mean that necessarily, you know, that pregnancy is going to go to term or that baby's going to be full health.
Right. So evolutionary, it meant that, you know, for them to have multiple partners, they could have multiple children and it increased the number of descendants who would carry on their genes. Cause from a biological perspective, that's what men wanted. Whether they were aware of it consciously or not, they want their seed to be spread across the earth.
They want their genetic DNA to be spread across the earth. It's an impulse in men. It's, it's a part of their DNA. By spreading their genes among many partners, men could ensure that their offspring are more varied, right? This meant that it would help with their offspring to be able to adapt and survive in changing environments because they're not just having children to one specific woman.
Let's say they've got multiple wives. Multiple partners, right? It means that all the children are quite different and they could adapt and survive in the different environment changes, right? In the past, many children didn't actually survive to adulthood. That was common. By having many children, men would increase the chances that some would live and continue the family line.
Because that was everything. Again, yeah, we might not be living in, let's say, pre Bible days, right? But it's still in the DNA of a man. And again, I'm not saying I support them having multiple partners. Men listening, I'm not saying go and get five wives today. Please don't do that. I don't encourage that at all.
But I'm just saying from a biological standpoint, it actually does make sense. Then there's also, you know, more children meant a better chance of leaving a lasting legacy because that's huge as a man, you are here to dominate and to conquer. Like that's a part of your biology to have your generations, like of children to also dominate and conquer.
That's. It's a thing. Having many children ensured that a man's name and his genetic material would be passed down through generations. Right. Men with many children, especially in polygamous societies, often accumulated significant resources and wealth. They were often at the top, the top pack. Right.
Larger families could work together to gather resources, to farm land and to protect their assets. This is their way of literally building. their own empire, right? Then also from a political alliance standpoint, marriages and children could create political alliances and strengthen social ties. So by having children with multiple partners, men could actually form connections with various families and various clans, which would increase their influence and power within the community.
Also in many cultures, the ability to attract Right. Think about this and impregnate multiple women was a sign of strength and virility. It was, it was seen as a, like, you are the top man. This elevated a man's social status, giving him greater access to resources, protection and mating opportunities. He would then have the top pick of the best women out there.
They would likely want to throw themselves at him. He is, and listen, a very controversial figure out there in the modern day who actually talks about a lot of this stuff is Andrew Tate. Whether you love him or you hate him, he is someone that has discussed this at length. And I understand fully where he's coming from when he speaks on this.
Again, I don't necessarily agree with it. I don't necessarily think that from my own standpoint, from a moral perspective, that it's It's good to have multiple wives, but I understand, I understand the, the, when you look at the biological facts of it, right? By the way, this is all going to make sense soon when I talk about casual sex and hook up culture, stick with me now, testosterone, testosterone drives sexual desire, and it actually promotes behaviors that seek multiple partners.
Men obviously have high levels of testosterone. Women have high levels of estrogen. So the testosterone would help men to spread their genes widely and increase the chances of reproductive success. Compared to women, men have minimal biological investment in terms of pregnancy and childbirth, right? It's just a matter of having sex and then they're done.
They don't have to then carry that baby to term. This allows them, as I said before, to mate with multiple partners without the significant time and energy costs associated with pregnancy and child rearing. Yes, you might say, Oh, that sucks because women get the, the, you know, the suckier end of the stick.
Well, it depends on how you look at it, right? It depends on your own worldview. And yeah, that that's down to the individual. Let's look at this from a historical and cultural perspective for a second. You've got ancient Kings and rulers. So for instance, an example, King Solomon, he was said to have had 700 wives.
That man was having a shit ton of sex. That's all I can say. 700 wives and 300 concubines. At what point do you say I've got too many? That, like, how do you even My question with that is what's the roster? How much sex in a day? Is this guy having like wowsers? Anyway, this showed his wealth and his power in the day.
This also meant he had many children to continue his family line. Like that lineage huge. You got Genghis Khan. He was the founder of the Mongol empire and he had many wives and concubines. I actually don't know how many, but genetics, genetics. Genetic studies show that a lot of people today are actually his descendants.
They actually came from Genghis Khan, proving his power and his influence. This is huge to a man, right? This is huge. They want to continue their genetic, their, their genes, right? Then you've also got African tribes. So many African tribes practice polygamy to have big families and strong social connections.
So men with many wives and children were actually seen as powerful leaders in their community. You've got Islamic tradition. So Islam allows men to have, I believe it's up to four wives. I'm pretty sure it's four, if they treat them equally. So all of the four wives need to be treated from an equal standpoint.
This was also common in early Islamic societies. Um, and it helped men again, form alliances and ensure a strong family line. I think you're seeing a common theme here. Former alliances, strong family line. This is big to men. You've got Ramses II from ancient Egypt. He had multiple wives and over a hundred children.
Again, ensuring his family line continued. You've got Emperor, I don't know how to pronounce it. It's K A N G X I. I'm not even going to try it. From one of the, I believe Chinese dynasties. He had over 50 children with various concubines, ensuring many heirs. And strong political alliances. It always comes back to those two things.
Let's look at the evolution of social structures for a second. So monogamy and marriage, monogamy and marriage as social structures have evolved over time. So let's just look at that. We had our hunter gatherer societies. In early human societies, we had the social structures that were more fluid. So there were, there definitely was polygamous relationships that were actually quite common.
However, some evidence does suggest, because I looked into this, that even in those societies, pair bonding was important for raising offspring. And I'm going to go into soon what pair bonding actually is. and why I don't support hookup culture for this very reason. Then we had agricultural societies. So think around 10, 000 BCE, the shift to agricultural societies led to more stable land based communities.
So there was property inheritance and the need to ensure that there were legitimate heirs, right? Because if you think about it, if you're passing, A lot of wealth, a lot of property on, you want to make sure that those heirs are your heirs. You're not passing this off to some other man's child that you thought was yours.
This is what started to make monogamy and marriage more practical. It was a practical thing as well. And this period started to see more of the rise of like formalized marriage structures. You've got ancient Greece and Rome monogamy became more formalized in ancient Greece and Rome, although men often had concubines or mistresses, right?
They still had that urge for variety. And I know men still have an urge for variety. I'm not saying that that's not today. Men absolutely have an urge for variety, but if you're in a monogamous like committed relationship, you've taught yourself and you've trained yourself through self discipline to not just follow through on your urges, right?
Same with women. Obviously our urge is not the same. Okay. It makes sense soon. The primary wife. So still in ancient Greece and Rome, the primary wife was responsible for legitimate offspring and managing the household. We've got the middle ages. So the fifth to the 15th century, the influence of Christianity reinforced monogamy as the ideal marriage to structure in Europe.
So the church played a massive role in promoting monogamous, monogamous marriages and regulating sexual behavior. Of course. And you can understand why. Like, I can understand why. Modern era. In contemporary society, monogamy is the dominant marital structure in most cultures. It still is dominant. Although, polygamy still exists in some regions.
Legal systems and societal norms often reinforce monogamous relationships. Obviously, monogamy is still up there as like the goal for most people. Obviously not all, if you're listening to this, you're not married or you have no desire to be married. I'm not telling you that you need to go and get married.
It is obviously a goal for most people in a modern society though, especially in like, I was about to say first world countries. Well, no, not even across the board. All right. Monogamy became common as societies evolved, which emphasized Stable families for property inheritance, and also for social stability.
It comes back to those a lot. Many cultures formalize marriage contracts, outlining the rights and responsibilities of both partners. And then obviously with religion. So like major religions, like Christianity. And Islam shaped marriage practices, promoting monogamy or regulating polygamy. All right, women, women are usually more selective when choosing partners because of the higher cost of reproduction and the need for support during and after pregnancy.
This is a fact. I'm not saying men don't have standards. Men have like men tend to know what they want in a woman, but women from a biological standpoint. It makes sense for a woman to be very selective with who she is partnering with because obviously of the cost of raising children, right? She wants to make sure this man can support me financially and also for the support for during and after pregnancy.
Women often also form stronger emotional bonds with sexual partners due to the release of oxytocin during intimacy, which helps promote pair bonding. I'm about to get into all of that. Let's look at the biological basis though quickly of women and our reproductive strategy. So as I said before, we're born with all the eggs that we'll ever have, which is like one to 2 million, roughly by puberty, this number drops to around 300, depending on where you're getting your figures from.
It's roughly that ovulation only about 400 to 500 eggs will be ovulated in a woman's lifetime. We are so different to men biologically. Menopause. This limited supply means women have a finite reproductive window, typically ending around the age of 50. Right? So again, as I said, we only have normally a couple of decades, a few decades where we actually can Um, for pregnant, like conceive for pregnant and raise young children.
Yeah. It's not like we can do that in our seventies. For instance, women can only carry one pregnancy at a time. As I said before, unless of course there's twins and, you know, obviously, but that's not every single woman and each pregnancy lasts around nine months. So we have a, we're committed to that, right?
It's very different to men. We also need significant recovery before being able to conceive again. And this does involve physical, emotional, and social factors. Okay. So again, very different due to these biological constraints, women have evolved to be highly selective in choosing mates. Well, I would say We were, this has definitely changed in modern society.
This is my concern and yeah, I'm a part of this. So this ensures there's significant investment in child rearing, in falling Pregnant is directed toward a, towards a partner who can provide the best genetic and resource-based advantages for offspring. This is in our DNA as a woman to seek out a man who can support us financially.
So resources based, so be that. For instance, all across lifetime, it would be like property. So you had shelter, you had food provided for you. It was money, all of those things. But also that that man had the best genetic makeup for your children. It's in a woman's best interest to seek that out in a man.
Women prioritize quality over quantity. That's different to men. Men, it's quantity. They want to sow their seed. Women, it's quality in our reproductive strategy, because again, we want the good genes. We want the stability. We want the man who's going to provide resources and protection. Again, women release oxytocin during sexual activity and also during childbirth, which promotes emotional bonding and attachment to their partner and to their child.
This is a fact, you cannot debate this. I don't care how much you want to debate this. Women release oxytocin during sex, right? Any form of sexual activity with your partner or with whoever you're having sex with, and also during childbirth. And it is. a biological thing that is there for a specific reason.
It is to form attachment. I'm going to get into this. This hormone is crucial for forming deep emotional connections, which helps with pair bonding. And also it's crucial for raising offspring. If a woman is not bonding with her baby, that's obviously going to raise issues. So it is released during childbirth.
I'm a mother. I have one child. I have gone through a natural, completely drug free childbirth. I know that feeling of that. Oh my God. It brings it all back to me of those hormones that are flooding your body. And just that instant connection you have with that child. It's insane. It is the most intoxicating feeling.
Yeah. It's. And guess what? It's the same women when we're having sex with men. Now I'm not saying it's to the same level as when you're giving birth because there's so much more going on with that and you get this incredible baby put in your arms. Um, but we still release it when we're having sex with our partners or with whoever you're having sex with.
So let's look at the psychological and emotional factors. And then obviously I'm going to give, as always, my unfiltered perspective on this. I always like to set the scene first and give you like biological perspectives and, or different points of views on this other than just mine. And then I'll give you my absolute unfiltered opinions as to why I am against hookup culture very, very strongly.
So repeatedly releasing oxytocin with multiple partners, As a woman can make it harder for women to form strong attachments. That is a fact I'll get into it. As the bonding mechanism becomes less effective over time. You think about it, the very first man that you had sex with. I just want to talk to a woman who's in, who is straight, right?
The very first time that you had sex with a man, that. Unless of course, I mean, you're still releasing oxytocin, but let's just, I want to take out any traumatic experiences. Let's just pretend there's no traumatic experiences. Okay. Block that out. If you have had any block that out for a second, think of someone that you enjoyed having sex with, right?
The very first time you had sex with a partner, your very first partner, that oxytocin is so strong. Okay. Each time you have sex with a different man, You're still releasing that, that oxytocin during sex, but the more that you are, like, for instance, let's say a woman who's had over a hundred sexual partners.
Her ability to actually pair bond with a man is greatly diminished because each time she's with a different partner, that, that oxytocin is becoming more and more, uh, numbed, right? She is separating her emotions from the sexual experience. And it is becoming numbed more and more, which does affect pair bonding.
And as I said, I'll go through pair bonding. Women with many sexual partners may also develop insecure attachment styles. Again, we need to take our feelings out of this. I'm not talking if you've just had a couple of sexual partners. Like for someone who, let's say, went through their whole life stage, right?
Let's say you did that. You can, from that, develop an insecure attachment style. Now, I'm not saying that you're going to be stuck like that for life. This is something that would have to be worked through. But it does make it difficult to trust and to bond with a single partner. It absolutely does.
There's also the emotional baggage side of it. So each relationship and breakup that a woman goes through can add emotional baggage which complicates future relationships. Let's just again look at facts. Let's say a woman who's had less than 10 sexual partners, right? Her ability to pair bond and And likely, unless she's had really traumatic experiences.
Let's say she hasn't her, um, uh, emotional baggage is probably way less than, than a woman. Let's say who's had over a hundred sexual partners. The woman with over a hundred sexual partners would likely carry with her a lot of baggage from different relationship breakups, from different sexual experiences, which would complicate future relationships.
And also her ability to be able to bond. Strongly, like commitment level, strong commitment level with a future man is greatly diminished. That is fact. That is a fact. Women. Let's talk about the impact of sexual history on marriage. So there was a study in the journal of marriage and family that found that women with fewer sexual partners before marriage reported higher marital satisfaction and stability.
Suggesting that a lower body count may lead to better long term relationship outcomes. Now, this is also the same with men. This, I want to make that clear. It is the same with men, but to a degree it is not to the same level though, because of the oxytocin release. Men are not releasing oxytocin like women are to those levels, right?
During sex, it is different for a man. They're releasing more testosterone. It's very different effect biologically. Research from the Institute for Family Studies indicates that individuals with fewer sexual partners report high levels of happiness and trust in their marriages, supporting the idea that fewer past partners can enhance the ability to pair bond.
So let's talk about how casual sex impacts men and women differently. Let's just talk about it from a casual sex perspective. For men, there's less emotional attachment. This is a biological thing. Again, this is one of those parts where I'll say, take our feelings out of it. It doesn't matter how we feel about this fact.
It is a fact. Men are biologically inclined to separate sex from emotional attachment more easily than women. That is a fact. This is why normally when a partner cheats on another partner, right? Let's say the man has cheated on the woman. The woman will say, Did you love her? Do you love her? Do you love the woman that you slept with?
Because that is one of the most important things to a woman. Did you love her? Right? Because we emotionally attach during sex, whether we want to or not. It's different. Men often face also less societal judgment for casual sex and may even gain status among peers. Again, I'll stop saying it, but whether we like this fact or not, it is a fact, but it, it, it, yes, that is a societal thing, but it also stems from a biological standpoint.
Men were here to sow their seed. To ensure that they had awesome DNA and in large quantities being spread across the earth to ensure that their lineage was. continued, right? It's in their DNA. It was seen as a social, like you are at the highest pecking order of society. If you could have multiple women, multiple kids, and you were able to provide for all of them, like you were the top.
Dog. It's still in a man's DNA, whether it's seen as morally right. It's still in their DNA. They face less judgment for it from a biological standpoint, men produce oxytocin during sex. So they still do, but it's in lower quantities than women. Testosterone is actually increased for men, which drives sexual behavior and sexual desire, which often dominates the man's sexual experiences.
So yes, he still releases. Oxytocin. Yes, a man can still feel the strongest amounts of emotions for the woman that he's sleeping with. I'm not suggesting he can't, especially in a committed relationship when he respects the woman. That's a big thing for a man is respect. And I'm about to talk, it go into depth into how men typically respect women because it is quite shocking against the sexual liberation movement.
But yes, men still produce oxytocin as I said, but it's not to the level that a woman does. Testosterone can make men's sexual experiences more about variety and new partners. Again, that aligns with the goal of spreading genes from a biological perspective due to lower levels of oxytocin, right? And higher levels of testosterone, the influence of that in a man, men are able to separate sex from emotional attachment more easily.
It's not from them necessarily numbing. They're not, they're not deliberately numbing their emotions. From a biological perspective, this actually naturally occurs. Again, I'm not saying a man cannot feel things for you. I'm not saying a man, like if I'm speaking to a woman, and men listening, you'll know this.
Especially if you are in love with a woman. You can feel the strongest of emotions when you're having sex with that woman. And when you're not having sex with the woman, right, with the woman that you love. You still feel strong emotions, but from a biological standpoint, men, you can separate sex from emotional attachment more easily.
And it's not coming from a numbing part. I'm not saying that if a man is out there honing around, having sex with so many women every single weekend, that he does not give a shit about that. That isn't a form of numbing behaviors. Yes, that can absolutely be a form of numbing behaviors for a man, but it's different.
To a woman who is trying to numb her emotions while she's having sex and that'll make sense in a second. This does make casual sex for men less emotionally impactful. Biologically. Men, as I said before, also face less judgment for casual sex in most cultures, right? Having multiple sexual partners is seen as like a positive thing for men.
Again, I'm not saying I agree with that. But it does elevate a man's social status. A lot of women hate this fact, but if you look at it again, biologically, it makes sense. Men's reproductive success is enhanced by mating with multiple partners. I think I've made that really clear. And that is what supports the acceptance of male promiscuity.
Why can I not say that word? Promiscuity. I really struggle on some words, don't I? Historically though, men could attract and impregnate multiple women. And that made them be seen as powerful women. We have an emotional toll, whether we like it or not, this may suck to hear, but casual sex can lead to emotional distress for women due to the bond forming effects of oxytocin and also the social judgment because absolutely there is social judgment for, for sure there is.
Pair bonding. So high body counts can make it harder for women to form strong pair bonds in future relationships. Because as I said, multiple partners can dilute the emotional attachment. Okay. I think I've made that like really, really clear. I want to talk just quickly about emotional and physical risks as well.
Women are more likely to experience emotional distress from casual sex. Again, due to the pair bonding effects, because it's not the same for women, we, we can't just separate, separate our emotions. This can lead to more feelings of regret, anxiety, and depression. It is not coincidence that women that do regularly sleep around, tend to have higher levels of anxiety and depression.
That's not coincidence. We cannot, as a society, look at that and just say that that's coincidental and it's not linked. It absolutely is linked. Yes, it can also be the same for men who are constantly sleeping around deliberately to numb unhealed and unprocessed stuff that's within themselves. But again, it is different as a woman.
And please hear this. I'm a woman. Right? Hear this from me. It is different for us women. I want to point this out as well. Cause you do hear women say, well, I'm different because I can have sex with whoever the crap I want. And I don't feel emotions for them. I really want to point out just because you can say you can have sex without feeling any emotional connection.
That's not actually something to celebrate. Like when I hear that, I'm like, you have no idea what you are actually admitting to. Right? Okay. Because that is actually an indication that your ability to pair bond has lessened. Hear me out, women. You hear this a lot. I've had like, you hear women say, I've had sex with so many men and I don't have a single amount of regret for it, which that's fine.
I'm not saying walk around in life with regret. I'm not saying that at all. This is not coming from a place of judgment. The part that scares me is when they say, and listen, I have. I had no emotional attachment to any of them. It was just a body. It was just a sexual experience. We were just exploring. It was fun.
Right. I get that sex can be fun and just a form of, you know, exploring and, and all of that side of it. But when you actually say I had no emotional connection from a biological standpoint, you are admitting that you have. A very small chance of being able to bond with a man in a committed relationship.
Right. That is what you're announcing. I would highly suggest that if you are one of those women that says that to stop pronouncing that to the world, if you're single and hoping to actually end up with a good man, because you are basically telling him that you are unable to connect on a deeper level with a, with a future partner.
Because again, biologically you have been that numbed out by that many sexual experiences that you have become immune to the level of oxytocin spreading, like being produced in your body. That's what that is. It's not the fact that you are incredible at separating emotion and sex. It's actually that you have had that much oxytocin experiences through having multiple sexual partners, that now the impact that that originally had when you had a lower body count, um, The impact of that oxytocin, you have become so numb to that.
Like you are no longer affected by that amount of oxytocin in your body, that your ability to pair bond. is greatly reduced. That's not like, honestly, that's not something to be proud of. I really mean that. Also again, there's physical risks. Casual sex poses greater physical risks for women. There's no denying that, right?
From a biological standpoint, women are putting themselves often in very precarious situations and there's no zero shame here, right? If you've had any really horrible experiences, there's no shame at all. None of this is coming from a place of judgment for me. I'm literally just pointing out like biological facts here.
Men overall are physically stronger than us. They are the stronger sex. If you've heard my feminism episode, I go over that. Like that doesn't mean women are weak, but. But more often than not, men are the stronger sex. And obviously if you are sleeping with multiple men out there, let's say just as a, as a figure, let's say you've slept with a hundred men, right?
Your chances of having sex with some real douchebags or some real dangerous men is quite high. If you've had a hundred sexual partners, as opposed to if you've had two sexual partners, right? Like the chances of you having sex with some being in really precarious and dangerous situations with a higher body count increases.
So this also increases your chances of falling pregnant, of getting sexually transmitted infections. and just your overall health and safety. I just want to go further into looking at this from a women's perspective as well, from a self worth perspective though. So today's like the modern narratives that you hear of the feminist messages, they often promote sexual freedom for women, encouraging them to embrace their sexuality without shame.
While this has, for some women, they would say this is like a positive thing. It can conflict, and I can see it very clearly, with biological and emotional realities. It is not facing biological and emotional realities at all. Having sex with multiple partners can sometimes lead to feelings of regret, of lowered self esteem, of emotional turmoil, and I've made it clear as to why.
Biologically, this makes sense. These feelings can also obviously come from social judgment. Hence, I put 304 in the title, ho, right? You are considered by society as a ho, by men, but also by women. Like let's be honest, women, even if you are the least judgmental person, it is in most women. If you view a woman who just constantly sleeps around constantly with different men, there's something inside of a woman that's kind of like, Oh, it's a bit icky, right?
Because again, it's a biological thing within us. The long term impact. So having many past partners can affect how a woman views herself. You cannot separate that, especially when thinking about long term relationships, right? You can, a woman who has had multiple, multiple, multiple sexual partners can have feelings of unworthiness, of inadequacy.
Again, this comes from a hormonal factor as well as a society judgment. Again, the society judgment is linked to biological factors. Okay. I think I've made it pretty clear about, you know, the whole biological standpoint. I want to talk about my perspective on everything that I've said, and just bring a bit of an unfiltered take as to why I see things quite differently to the modern narrative of just ho yourself around.
And I mean that word with all love, by the way, I'm not, as I said earlier, I'm not calling you a ho if you engage in. you know, free sex everywhere. By the way, it's not free. It always comes with a cost, but women usually have the final say in whether or not sex is going to happen. Okay. I want to make this very clear in consensual interactions.
Obviously if they're non consensual, no, let's just talk about consensual interactions where like, let's say a man and a woman, right? We control women. We control access to sex. This is a fact. Men rarely make a woman wait for sex unless it's driven by religious beliefs. Most men will not make a woman wait.
It's very, very rare. It's normally the opposite, right? This shows how important it is for a woman to actually be able to say no when she wants to say no. We actually have the final say in if sex is going to be happening or not. That's powerful. All power to us women in that case, right? We hold the power in if that sexual interaction is going to happen or not.
Also, most confident men, and I make the distinction of most confident, a term you often hear online is high value, right? And that word can come with a lot of backlash because it's saying that, you know, if you're not seen as in that category, then you're a man that you're a man that has zero value whatsoever.
I don't want you to think of it in that way. I would think of it more as like a pecking order. Uh, the men that are at the top. They prefer women who haven't had many partners. This is a fact. Stick with me. In fact, all men would actually prefer that, but the men who don't have as much going for them, right, so the type of men who maybe they don't physically look as good, or, you know, maybe they don't have the best job in the world and, you know, they were hoping to get a woman that's seen as high value, again, I don't really like to use that term, but, um, But most men, in fact, I would go as far as to say pretty much all men would prefer a woman who hasn't had as many partners if they're going to be having a relationship with that woman.
But the men, again, who don't have as much going for them, they will settle on whatever they can get. Whereas the man that has the highest status, he can be more picky. Modern feminism though, often says men who think this way are insecure. You hear that? a lot. They will say that women are strong and empowered.
And you know, if they're sexually free and if a man, if a man doesn't want a woman who is sexually free, then he must be insecure. But these women, the ones with really high body counts, and listen, I'm going to give Different takes on this. There is always new answers. I'm going to use examples in this, but these women often struggle to actually keep what is considered a high value man for more than a one might stand or a short fling.
Sure. They'll sleep with you. A woman who is sleeping around nonstop. Absolutely. She, she will be able to get more men for sure. But when it comes to having a committed relationship that the chances of that happening decrease drastically. drastically. And I don't think that it is an insecure thing for a man to crave a woman or to want a woman that has a low body count.
If he's going to commit to her. Cause from a biological standpoint, it makes so much sense. And you often hear people say, wouldn't a man rather a woman who has so much experience because they're going to have the best sex life life ever. I've spoken about this with men that I know personally, I've watched video Videos on this with men discussing this and they actually say no, that's not actually the case Sure, for a one night stand, they don't care.
They'll sleep with most men will kind of, I mean, they'll still have standards, but most men, let's be honest, will sleep with kind of what they can get that night if that's their goal. Okay. Of course I'll have standards, but it's, it's not insecure for a man to crave a woman and to want a woman or to have standards on who he's going to have a relationship with.
Even if that means he asks a woman what her body count is. It actually, from a biological standpoint, makes sense. It does not make him insecure. It actually makes him more secure in himself. Truly, it actually makes him more secure in himself if he will have standards on who he will be in a relationship, in a committed relationship with.
If you want a man that is seen as high value, and I'm not talking about high status as in He earns a crazy amount of money or he has the best job out there. Like that's not necessarily what draws a good woman. Okay. I'm talking about, he has good morals and good values and you know, he's a good, good man, right?
He will want to know that you have self control because this is what it comes down to. He needs to be sure that one, you can form a strong bond with him and two, you won't leave him for another man or be easily tempted by other men. It's in his best interest to make sure that you have self control. It's actually very unattractive to a man when a woman has a high body count and often engages in casual sex.
It's not just about physical risk, but also the emotional and the mental toll that it takes on a woman. As I said earlier, let's say a woman who's had over a hundred sexual partners. She has very likely, like her chances have increased massively of having really traumatic experiences with men. Sexually, emotionally, mentally, and likely physically as well.
Because out of a hundred men, there's going to be a bunch of douchebags in there. There's going to be a munch, a bunch of a munch. There's a lot of munching. Oh my God. Wow. There's going to be a bunch of, what the crap was I saying, men that are probably abusive a holes, right? Cause she's had a lot of experiences.
Not all of them are going to be great. So therefore there's also the risk that this woman comes with a lot of baggage. Again, we have to not think about our feelings with this. This is a fact. This is a fact. A man will see if you can commit to a long term relationship by checking if you can control your impulses.
Yes. Also, I would say this works in reverse. Definitely. I will cover that off. Definitely a man needs to show that he can control his impulses. I actually think it is one of the most sexiest traits in a man when he has the highest levels of self control. I would never even consider being with a man who has no self control.
Having control over your impulses makes you in the top tier of men, in my opinion, and in most women's opinion, you think about it. If you're the type of man who can't be controlled by vices. So you're not controlled by drugs. You're not controlled by alcohol. Sure. You may partake, like you may go and get drunk and have fun with your mates and all that kind of stuff, but you can control it.
You aren't Like if you feel like you need to constantly be drinking alcohol, you have an impulse control issue. Same with like vaping, like if you're constantly feeling like you need to be vaping or, uh, gambling. Like if you have no control over your impulses as a man, it will lower your value as a man.
Same with, and women will want to see this as well, do you have control over your sexual urges? So I'm not saying this is just with women, but from a biological standpoint, A man is going to see if you can commit to a long term relationship by checking if you have self control over your impulses. Can you say no as a woman?
Let's think about this for a second. Let's talk to single women. Can you say no? I'm not talking about saying no in a committed relationship. I have all the sex you want. That's like go for it. That's not at all what I'm saying. Don't say no in a committed relationship. I mean unless there's obviously legitimate reasons, but what I'm saying is if you're a single woman, can you say no to a man?
And I'm not talking about, can you say no to a man that you're not attracted to? That's easy. Is there instances in your life where there are men that you have been highly attracted to that have let you know, they're ready for it, let's go, but you have actually said no because you have boundaries and standards and you had already told yourself, I'm not going to be doing this.
Or were you the type that caves? Do you just give into your sexual impulses all the time or do you have a level of self control? Let Do you have a history of saying no? That's important to a man. Do you have a history of saying no? No self respecting man will commit to a woman, and I mean self respecting, will commit to a woman who can't control her sexual impulses.
There's no two ways about it. The ability to say no, even when you want to say yes, shows your value. We are different biologically. There's a big difference biologically. Your value as a woman, whether you like this fact or not, increases, I'm talking about from a relationship perspective, you're like the sexual marketplace, we'll call it, right?
Your value as a woman drastically increases when you can say no to sex with a man, even when you want to say yes. You may be feeling horny, or as fuck. You may be like, holy shit, I want this right now. But if it crosses your boundaries, if it crosses your morals, if it crosses what you said you were going to do, if you can actually say no in that moment, your value has just increased drastically to that man.
A lot of women will actually sleep with a man thinking that it's going to make him respect her. Like for instance, on a first date, on a second date, whatever it might be. They actually think if I have sex with him, he's going to fall in love with me. If I have sex with him, then he's going to like me or his, you know, whatever it might be.
And they don't actually realize how backwards that is. Now I'm not saying don't have sex on a first date. You do whatever you want to do in your life, but let me make it clear. You are actually sending a signal to that man that You may not have self control. Now that doesn't mean that that man isn't going to fall in love with you because there's so many other factors to that.
Right? If you genuinely like each other, if there's a genuine connection, maybe you've been talking for a while or whatever it is, obviously do what the crap you want. I'm just saying from a biological standpoint, if you as a woman are sleeping with men in order to, in the hopes that you think that they're going to like you and that something can come from that, You've actually told them, I don't respect myself, one, and two, I lack self control over my sexual urges.
You have told that man, whether you realize it or not, that your value is actually less than what he might have thought that it actually was. I know that may be hard to hear. When you can say no, even when you want to say yes, it increases your value as a woman. There is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who can say no to sex.
Now, I'm not saying, again, that you should never have sex. Right, outside of a committed relationship, I'm not saying that you should play games with men. Let, let me also make that clear. I don't want this to be misconstrued as let's play games with men and let's, you know, just like I'm not into that at all.
Don't play games. Let's be mature adults here. But it is a fact that it is highly attractive to a man, to a man that has confidence. I'm not talking about your average guy who has no confidence. Well, actually it still would be attractive to him, but like, let's talk about the type of guys that as a woman you would want to be with.
They actually see it as very attractive when a woman can say no to sex with him. Trust me, men are also going to test that. They a thousand percent test that. They will see how much you can say no in the moment. And again, this is what troubles me with the message that's being pushed on young women today.
And this is why I'm speaking up about it because I actually want my voice to be very, very loud in this space to show an alternative. By the way, I have someone doing lawn mowing all of a sudden across the road or at our neighbors. I hope that isn't too loud right now, but I'm going to continue. I want my voice to be loud in this space, especially for young women, as I said, to show an alternative because they're being taught.
That being sexually active, being promiscuous is liberation, whereas honestly long term it is the exact opposite. It is not liberation, okay? It's not, it's not freedom as it's being portrayed as. It comes with a shit ton of baggage. It comes with lowering your, your level of self worth in the eyes of a man.
It comes as lowering your value. on the sexual marketplace, right? Your chances of being with a good man long term, it lowers her. From a biological standpoint, your value in the sexual marketplace is drastically reduced by promiscuity. Drastically. You're telling the world that the only thing that you have going for you is your body, an immediate sexual access.
You are actually saying to everybody that is All that I have going for me is the fact that I am allowing immediate access to basically any men out there, or not even any men. You may have high standards on who you sleep with, but still sleep around a lot. You are telling them that is all that I have going for me is my body.
And in a nutshell, to put it bluntly is my holes. That is basically what is being said. That sounds so gross, but that is what it is. You will be the one who ends up getting ghosted. This is a fact. Unless it's for like, okay. Yeah, you may have short flings with these men, but outside of that, you will likely be like a highly sexually promiscuous woman will likely be the one that is constantly ghosted by men because you have told those men, this is all that I want.
This is all that I am good for. And if that is what you want, honestly, I do say go for it. Like, again, I'm not here to tell women how to live, how to live their lives. I simply want to be an alternative voice in this space because it's not being highlighted. at all. It's really not. But if you're like, if there's women, for instance, say that is all I want, I just wanted to have sex, then go for it.
But if they're really honest with themselves, They don't actually want to be used and abused by multiple men and have none of them see her for who she really is underneath her body. I would say that that viewpoint has actually come from being numbed, like that oxytocin being numbed for too long of a period.
From a biological standpoint, your value again is drastically reduced by promiscuity, right? I can't make that any clearer. Modern feminism and the sexual liberation movement promote the idea of sexual freedom as empowerment for women. However, I actually see it as breaking down a woman. Now I'm not saying that it makes a woman worthless.
Please don't take that at all. I'm speaking of worth on a sexual marketplace standpoint, as in relationships and, you know, bonding with other humans and not talking about your worth as a woman. Okay. There is a difference, but I do see this as breaking down of a woman. There's nothing empowering about being sexually active with multiple partners.
Without considering the long term consequences. This movement often leads women to sacrifice any chance of forming deeper, meaningful connections. Making them less attractive to men who actually value integrity and self control. You're actually not taken seriously as a woman if you can't say no. It is unattractive to a man if you sleep around.
It is actually unattractive. Again, of course they'll likely sleep with you. Yes, you'll probably have a one night stand with them. Yes, you may even have a short fling with them. But if you cannot say no, you are not taken seriously. You become unattractive to men for anything of serious, seriousness, any serious relationship potential.
And before anyone says, I don't care, I don't do it for the men, I'm doing it for me because I have heard that a lot. I've had friends say that I'm not doing it for the men. And I get that you're not doing it for the men, right? I'm doing it for me. I'm being sexually liberated and free for myself is what you hear.
Obviously, it's a free world. You can sleep with whoever you want as often as you want. No one should be telling you what you can and can't do as far as who you're having sex with and when and all of that, unless of course you're in a committed relationship. But when it comes to wanting a serious relationship, please hear me women, if there's nothing to be ashamed of, right?
With your, with your sexual past. You shouldn't lie when discussing your body count because often that happens women who have had really, really high amounts of sexual partners, and they're like, I'm not doing it for the man. I'm doing it for me. It is freedom. I've got nothing to regret. I've got, you know, I'm Make sure then you don't lie if it does come up because it's actually important to most men.
It is actually important and I'm going to get into another point in a second on that. But you also need to take your feelings out of it then when men that are considered as really really good men don't potentially want to be with you because they don't feel like they can trust you or because they find your past unattractive.
The chances of you wanting to be with a man long term After having your heart broken multiple times after accumulating lots of trauma from past relationships, past hookups, like your chances of wanting to actually be with a man long term are actually very, very slim. It affects your ability to pair bond to bond.
With another, like with a man. It affects that ability. Biologically, this is a thing. Now, there are always nuances. I know friends who were very sexually active when they were younger. But they later changed their ways. Okay. I want to talk about this. They then displayed high levels of self control, like completely changed their ways.
And they've landed a very valuable man, like a very good man. I've seen this with a, with a couple of close friends of mine. Right. However, this is actually very, very rare, very rare. A confident man who values integrity will usually ask questions about a woman's past to gauge her commitment and her level of self worth.
This is why I don't think it's wrong for a man to ask about your sexual history. I don't think that's wrong at all. That does not make him insecure. Can we stop putting that rhetoric around? That does not make him insecure. Biologically, it makes actual sense. The reason why top kind of men might choose to overlook a woman's promiscuous past, right?
Because it, as I said, it can happen. That's a good thing, right? And decide that she's the one for him is usually, let me be clear, because she has made herself exceptional in all other areas of her life and has shown a change in behavior, right? So sure, she may have had her wild days, Yep. I've seen that with some friends.
They've had some pretty high levels of sexual experiences, right? But she changed her ways as in she stopped sleeping around. She stopped giving her body to just anybody. She stopped this sexual liberation, free love thing and toned her waist down and became serious about herself and who she allows access to her body.
Like she became a few friends of mine became very strong on who they allowed access to to their bodies. Right. But not only that, because your past doesn't just go away. We can't just pretend that our past isn't there. It doesn't just go away. But then she became exceptional or they became exceptional in all other areas of their life.
They became like women of highest levels of integrity and self confidence and responsibility and all those different areas of life. Which meant that men can overlook a woman's sexual past if they've seen changes and if that woman is too good to let go. She's just too good to let go. She's too good to pass on.
So of course there can be exceptions, but in order for a previously promiscuous woman to land a really good man, she has to be. Has to. Like this is not a, Oh, maybe, no, she has to be exceptional in other areas of her life. So that man can be like, I can't let this woman go. Even though she's had a history of sleeping around and she's racked up some high levels of sexual partners.
She has shown that she has high levels of self control now. She's not going to go and just cheat on me. She's not, like, she still has an ability to bond with me. She has incredible mothering abilities, maybe, whatever it might be. She shows that she has high levels of self worth now. This is also why I'm actually going to be doing a whole episode dedicated to single mums.
This is a side tangent, but this will be different from what you usually hear out there. And it comes from personal experience. I have a very unique message to single mums. That also comes from a biological standpoint stand point. So stay tuned for that one. Now, I just want to give some final thoughts. So the way a woman weeds out someone who's actually interested in like actually being with her instead of just you know, using her is by saying no to intimacy at first.
That's not no to spending time with that man. That's not no to building a connection with that man. That's no to letting some random person or someone you've just met inside of your body. That's the difference. If you're not ready for intimacy. and the other person isn't willing to wait, they are not interested in you.
They're not worthy of your time. That is how you weed out. If a man is actually interested in you or just having sex, you say no. And your level of, uh, value in that man's eyes drastically increases. If he's a good man, he will wait. Trust me. He will wait. If he's a good man and he genuinely really likes you, He will wait.
If he is someone that just wants to have sex, he will find the next body. That is basically what it is, right? I, yeah. Let's quickly talk about OnlyFans just briefly. This is a platform where individuals predominantly, predominantly women create and sell explicit content, right? It offers a way for women to monetize their bodies without direct physical interaction.
So they're not having sex with men normally. Right. But they are monetizing their body. It still raises significant concerns about the long term impact on their mental health, their self worth and societal perceptions. I do not support OnlyFans. I don't think that it is a good idea for women to be on OnlyFans.
For the reasons, I mean, I don't need to get into it too much because this episode is getting really long, but from everything I've already just spoken about, yeah, you may not be actually giving men access to your body as in they're not physically touching you if you're on OnlyFans, but you are giving them access to your body.
Again, not physically, but they have access to your body. Sure. It's just. Through a screen. I get that. But most really good, top-notch men are not going to want to be with a woman who has been on OnlyFans. Let me make that clear, whether we like that or not, women, that is a fact. A man who has high morals, who has high levels of self-confidence, a high value man is not going to be with a woman.
You as a woman who is on OnlyFans, full stop, capital letter, you as a woman are selling your body to the world. That is what you're doing. You are selling your body. It can affect your emotions. It can affect your level of self worth. It can also affect your ability to actually pair bond. Similar to the way that repeated casual sex can desensitize the oxytocin response that I spoke about earlier.
The repetitive act of actually selling intimate content can weaken a woman's ability to form deep emotional bonds. This desensitization can impact their ability to engage in meaningful relationships outside the platform. It is not different. Obviously, I'm not saying that you're releasing. I don't actually know on what the levels are of how much oxytocin you release during sex compared to when you are selling intimate content, right?
But you are getting an oxytocin release as a woman on OnlyFans, as you are repeating the act of selling intimate content to different men. That is desensitizing your oxytocin response. So from a biological standpoint, I don't encourage this at all. Women have evolved to be selective in mating again to ensure the best genetic and resource based support for offspring.
If you are continually commodifying your body, you are sending a signal that you are devaluing this selectivity, which can affect how you are perceived in potential long term relationships. You are devaluing yourself as a woman. You actually are. I know that this will not be a popular thing for me to say.
I know that there'll be a lot of people that will disagree with me and that's totally okay. We're allowed to see the world differently, but in my opinion, from a biological standpoint, you are devaluing yourself. You are decreasing your ability to see the world differently. To have great selection opportunities in a potential partner.
Of course, it comes with stigma. Of course, it comes with judgment, but just as high body counts can affect women's desirability in this sexual marketplace, involvement in platforms like OnlyFans can also impact how you are viewed by potential long term partners. Men do not typically respect women who are on OnlyFans.
Men typically do not respect women who are escorts, who are prostitutes. That is a thing. You are selling your body. Men who value integrity and self control will be less inclined to pursue serious relationships with women who have commodified their bodies. Full stop. Right? They're less inclined to. It doesn't mean that they can't get someone.
It doesn't mean that they can't have long term relationships. But men of a higher status are way less inclined to pursue a serious relationship. Oh, they may sleep with you. You may have a one night stand with them, but they're not going to want anything long term with you. It's very, very rare. There's false empowerment as well.
That's another thing, right? OnlyFans is seen as a form of empowerment where it's seen as like women can take control of their bodies and their finances. But honestly, the empowerment is so superficial. It masks deeper issues.
The idea of empowerment through commodification is flawed because it actually overlooks also the long term emotional, psychological, and social consequences. There are so many women who have come off OnlyFans because of these impacts on them. This, it's rampant. True empowerment should focus on self worth.
This is in my opinion. Integrity and meaningful contributions beyond your physical appearance. Let's wrap this up. This has gone so long. I've gone over the biology, the biological standpoint of the differences between men and women. Cause this is such an important topic when it comes to things like OnlyFans of casual sex hookup culture.
So we've gone into the dynamics of all of those things, right? The biological differences of men and women that shape these experiences. You can't just ignore biology. I'm sick of society ignoring fricking biology. Like As I've said in other episodes, when it comes to how apparently you can just change your sex, no, you can't.
From a biological standpoint, you actually can't. We cannot ignore biology as a society anymore. It is, it is terrible where this is heading. It's the same with hookup culture. While modern narratives often push for sexual liberation, they promote the idea of free sex as empowerment for women. It's crucial to understand that biological and emotional factors cannot be ignored.
We need to stop ignoring this. The stakes are higher for women. Again, as I said in the beginning, this is for men and women. I, I feel the same for men and women across the board. I don't think just endlessly sleeping around is healthy for anybody, but the stakes are higher for women because of our unique reproductive investment and the role of oxytocin in bonding.
We have a higher release of oxytocin when we are having sexual intercourse, sexual experiences with somebody else. It forms bonds. Whether we want to or not. This makes us more susceptible to long term emotional and relational challenges from casual sex. You can't ignore this. We hold the power sexually by saying yes or no.
And this power underscores the importance of our ability to say no. It is so important as a woman to be able to say no. Let's take our feelings out of this, right? But most self confident men want a woman who hasn't been with numerous partners. Because this suggests self control and high personal value when she actually can say no.
Ultimately, while casual sex can have negative impacts on both genders, understanding these differences helps explain why the consequences are often more severe for women. And they are. I think true empowerment lies in recognizing and cultivating our inherent value and self control. I'm going to leave you with that.
It's a very hot topic, like all of my topics, but I would love for you to actually join in the conversation with this one. Send me messages, comment on any of my reels or my posts on Instagram or wherever you have found me, please join in the conversation. Let me know your opinion on this. You may completely disagree.
And honestly, I, I don't know. Hold space for difference of opinion. I don't delete comments on my social media, even if they come hard for me. I believe in freedom of speech. Even if that speech is opposing my viewpoint, I can't make that any clearer. Please come and join in the conversation. Let me know. Of course, I just want to point out again, there are nuances.
As I said, you can have a really like high level of sexual experiences in your past. That does not mean that now you can't get a good man. Let me point that out to you. As I said, there are always new answers, but across the board, What I've said stands in this episode. I love your guts. Thank you for sticking with me and enjoy the rest of your week.
Legends. We'll chat soon. Bye. Thanks for tuning into this controversial episode. If you found our discussion thought provoking, share it with your friends and spark some debates. And if you're a thought leader ready to disrupt the status quo and dive into bold unfiltered conversations, then I'd love to hear from you.
Visit my website or email me at hello at hollywild. com to join me on air. Let's make some goddamn noise together and ignite the controversy. Until next time, stay fierce and keep questioning everything. This is Hollie Wild signing off.
THE SHOW
