Ep. 63 | 🍿Comment Chaos: TikTok Takes, Gender Wars, and Why Masculinity Matters
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
63. CC
[00:00:00]
Welcome back. Thank you so much for being here today. We're going to go through some comments on Tik TOK in regards to an episode that I did titled, and it was episode 62 for reference. Alpha Kings and Linen Bros, why coaching for men is missing the mark.
and that episode was my own take on what I'm seeing in the coaching industry for men and how there's two extremes. You've got the alpha bro coaches, and then on the other extreme you've got the overly spiritualized coaches that are, you know, feminizing men.
And so I went through in depth. What I'm seeing and why I think somewhere in the middle is the best place for men to be coached from because it sharpens their masculinity. It won't over feminize them, but we then are also just suppressing every single emotion that they feel. So yeah, definitely listen to that episode for context.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about. I go way more in depth into it than what I can right now in one minute. So let's pop over to Tik TOK. So obviously the clips from the podcast go onto the different social media platforms on Tik TOK. [00:01:00] I've got some comments. One has said, thank you for being you.
Thank you so much. Appreciate that. By the way, a lot of men, it's more men that are commenting. Cause obviously this episode was for men. Another, I believe male has said, that's really refreshing. So tired of the blanket hatred for men being spread by many influencers. Thank you. And yeah, look, I know I'll be called a pick me for this episode, but I do not care.
It is true. There is a blanket hatred for men by a lot of online, you know, social media influences. That is very evident that kind of shit all over masculinity and just call it toxic. And I just don't want to add my voice to that noise because I don't agree with it. Someone has said your definition of masculinity would be useful because I bet it's not the same as ours.
So I said, curious, who's ours? I presume they meant men. So I, this is a man, I'll read it again. Your definition of masculinity would be useful because I bet it's not the same as ours. Again, this is on a short clip. They haven't, I [00:02:00] believe listened to the entire episode. So I said, who's ours? And they've come back a little bit of a smart ass.
That's obvious. I'm simply asking for your definition, but you already knew that I was like, it wasn't obvious. Hence why I asked, I took it as you meant you're speaking for every man on the planet as if you all view it the exact same way, which would be absurd, which is why I asked for clarification on what you meant before I responded.
I've actually done a full episode on this topic, episode 32, the war on masculinity and why strong men are feared. That you can check out seeing as you ask. They never responded. I have no idea what, what this man took offense to or what, what his question was in relation to, but he wanted to know what my definition of masculinity is.
That's not just a 30 second thing. So I shared another episode, but yeah, he didn't come back. Someone else has written, begin to get the feeling the ones that condemn traditional values and spout terms like toxic masculinity are a small [00:03:00] minority, just incredibly loud in your face and sometimes violent.
But doesn't actually represent most women, but here is the thing. If you don't speak up, if you don't keep them in check, they will speak for you. Even if you are adamantly opposed to their views by staying silent, this dude has a real good point. I, I do think that they are the minority now, the ones that scream about toxic masculinity.
I just think they're the loudest. I think they, they are the loudest, most obnoxious, whether they're men or women, because men are in that camp too. Like, they're a very. Yeah. Um, loud men that believe masculinity is toxic and they just shit on top on masculinity as well. And yeah, I just think they're a minority now, but they are quite loud. And then on the clip where I said you cannot control a society that is full of strong men standing in their masculinity, and I gave the example of how I don't believe COVID would have gone down the way that it did if, you know, masculinity hadn't been shut on for years. Cause men were just too scared to, I'm not [00:04:00] all, I'm not speaking for men, but men in general, just too scared to stand up to, for instance, mandates and stay at home orders and, you know, mask mandates and all that kind of stuff because you know, they've been told for so long, just shut up.
Don't speak. You're a toxic man and you're dangerous and you're violent and all men should apologize for being men. Like it's just ridiculous. And so yeah, this clip. Got a lot of comments as well. Someone said truth. I think the West will lose to China, Russia, India, and the BRICS nations. I actually need to look into that.
Um, because of this, we will become poor and we are, and they will become the more dominant powers. Love your work. I said scary thought too, but it appears to be heading that way. Well orchestrated in my opinion. Thank you for your comment. And listen, I do believe that the West. The Western countries are falling to a degree.
The more a country tends to stray away from really traditional values, and [00:05:00] to a degree traditional gender roles. I do see that those countries are struggling the most as far as the morals, the fabric of that culture, you know, what that culture stands for, what the people stand for, how strong the men are. Yeah. To me, it's, it's very, very deliberate. Someone else has written spot on. Someone said, you bet a feminine woman to me is peaceful, soft, warm. The feminist women are cold, hard. The traits they love so much are super unattractive. Most men would agree, I believe. I said, thank you for joining in the convo, by the way, to bring context.
My next episode that goes live next Tuesday is all about the extremes that I'm seeing in the coaching industry, but for women, right? And I go to the two polar extremes and why I believe the middle for women is really, really healthy. So if you just listened to what I just read, then that the guy said that a feminine woman to me is peaceful, soft, warm.
That the feminist women are cold, hard. I think you, if that comment bought up feelings in you of [00:06:00] like, what the crap is he talking about or you just didn't feel good. I think you will really enjoy my episode that goes live next week because I don't believe that we have to pick a side as a woman of you're either, for instance, ambitious or you're soft.
You get to be freaking both. Or you're soft as a woman or you're driven. You can't be both apparently. Yes, you can. Or you're warm and nurturing as a woman, or you, if you're not that, then you are structured and disciplined. No, you get to be both. I think you'll really enjoy that episode because sometimes when we read comments like that and I get what he's saying, yes, feminine women are more peaceful, soft, warm, but you can also be all that and be disciplined and ambitious and driven.
Doesn't mean that you're a man all of a sudden. So I just want to bring that context to that. Someone has written, Feminism started as a communist ideology to destroy society. Create an enemy, install loyal cult followers, destroy family. Job done. I agree. [00:07:00] I actually agree. I've done full episodes on the feminist movement.
Um, then we've got a woman who's written most men nowadays are too selfish. I don't feel we are in a good situation as women to trust many men. Finding a good one is a challenge. Finding a good masculine one is very rare and I really want to speak to this. So this is what I wrote in response. Thank you for being here.
I always like to start off with that because I see things differently to this woman, but I didn't just want to shit on her comment. I appreciated her comment and I appreciate her being here. So I said, thank you for being here. One thing I've noticed, if I focus on what you're saying, I see more of that.
Remember she said men are too selfish and we're not in a good situation. Finding a good man is rare and it's a challenge and you know, I get what she's saying. But if I focus on that, I see more of that. When I choose to see the traits and behaviors that I love in men, I tend to see more of those types of things.
I'm not suggesting there aren't selfish men out there, but I would say there's an equal amount of selfish [00:08:00] women in the world also. And I'm going to leave it on this one, but I just want to add to it. It's obvious that the more that we focus on something, the more that we see it, right? The moment someone says red car, if you're in a car and you're out driving and someone says red car, you all of a sudden see all these red cars that you didn't notice before.
Blue car. Now you see blue cars everywhere. Right? It's, it's natural. What we focus on, we see more of. If I focus on, there's only shit men in the world, there's only toxic men in the world, men are all selfish, I am going to see more of that. I'm going to attract to me more of that. And I'm going to become the embodiment of the female version of that.
Like, that's just natural. I'm going to attract to me the very thing that I'm focused on. If I think that all men are liars, I'm going to all of a sudden start to notice men around me that lie, right? If you, what you focus on, you get more [00:09:00] of. I choose, and it's actually really easy. I actually find it super easy because I've done this for so long.
I choose to see the good traits in men. I'm surrounded by extremely good men because I chose to focus on that and only attract that into my life. I choose to focus on the traits that I respect and that I love and that I admire in a man. And I also go out of my way to praise those things in those men.
And I'm talking about like, it can be within my family, like brothers, father, it could be friends, it can be acquaintances, whatever it is, I choose to focus on and praise the very things that I love to see and that I would love to see more of in the world. Or that I'd love to see more of in my world, in my own circle, right?
The more that I do that, the more I see that. Like that's just, it's common sense to me, but it doesn't seem to be so common to other people. If we just shit on everything we don't like about other people or about the opposite sex, you're going to get more of that. So this is my call to [00:10:00] anyone listening.
If you are the type that says, Oh, there's no good men out there. Two things. One, change what you're focusing on. Two, become the embodiment of what you want. This is huge. There are a lot of women out there. And same for men who are looking for a good woman, right? That will say, I want, they'll have a long list of all the different traits that they want in a man that they're looking for.
Right? So just picture one of your friends and maybe she's like, I want X, Y, Z, like all these traits. I want all these things in this man. And then you look at that list and you're like, But are you those things? And I don't mean you have to be equal on all those things. Like maybe one of the things is you want your man to, I don't know, earn 200, 000 a year.
That's the salary that you would love to have in a man that you end up in a relationship with. No, that doesn't mean you also have to have a 200, 000 income. But like, are you good with finances? Are you good at budgeting? Are you good at sticking to a budget? Or do you just spend endlessly and have no control?
Why [00:11:00] do you deserve a man who has a high income and let's say who's really good with money when you're shit with money? That's just one example. Another could be, maybe you want a man who's really disciplined, who takes care of his health. Well, are you a fat slob who sits on the couch 24 7 eating bucket loads of ice cream and you never move your body?
You cannot expect those traits. In a man, if you don't embody them, I'm going off on a rant right now, but I just think if you want something from your spouse or from your future partner, you have to embody that within yourself. You have to be that within yourself to some degree. Some really important traits for me in a future partner.
One is radical self responsibility. If he does not take responsibility for himself in his life, I can't respect that in a man. Therefore, I need to be there. I need to take responsibility for myself. Another, discipline. I will not be in a relationship with a man who does not hold a level of discipline.
Well, I need to be disciplined. Another, self trust. Self trust to me is one of the most important qualities in a [00:12:00] man. If he does not trust himself, he will not follow through on his decisions. He will say he's going to do something and then when push comes to shove, he just won't do it because he doesn't trust himself to follow through.
If he doesn't trust his own word, I can't trust him. Therefore, I will not respect that man. Well, guess what? If I want self trust in a man, I better freaking embody self trust within myself. I better work on having the highest levels of self trust. Where the crap was I going? That's right. What we focus on, we get more of, but also what we desire in a partner, we better have within ourselves too.
I'm going to leave you with that. Just some TikTok comments. I don't want this to get too long. I love your guts as always. It's also an exciting note. We have hit over 600 on YouTube. And as of the time of recording this, we have almost hit 600 on Tik Tok. They grow at the same rate. It's bloody amazing.
597 at the time of recording this, we have 597 people on Tik [00:13:00] Tok. And we have 604 people on YouTube. So that's really exciting. If you're not following on YouTube and TikTok, where the crap have you been hiding? Get on them right now. Um, but yeah, no, it's exciting to see them grow. So for anyone who has a social media channel, especially like if you're brand new to that platform, you know, it can take time to build it.
So thank you so much. You guys are bloody legends. Anyway, enjoy your week and get ready for next week's episode, particularly for women, but men definitely listen. I think you will likely agree with a lot I have to say. Love you. Bye.
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