Ep. 61 | The War on Polarity: How Men & Women Became Enemies
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hey legends, welcome back to another episode. Today, we're going to be talking about the war on polarity and why men and women are more divided than we've possibly ever actually been, if we're honest with ourselves. So you've likely heard that apparently masculinity is toxic, that femininity equals weakness. And that polarity in relationships is completely outdated. That is the modern narrative that is basically shoved down our throats. And it's left both men and women confused as hell, especially when it comes to intimate relationships.
It's almost seen as like, if a man steps into leadership that they're instantly labeled as, Oh, they're controlling, or if a woman decides to embrace her femininity. And by the way, I'm going to give all different sides to this topic. But if women embrace their femininity, it's like, they're told that they're putting feminism back 50 years.
I've been told that myself yet. I would say, look around, look around at society, look around at modern relationships. Are people happier?
Are relationships any stronger [00:01:00] these days than what they were, say, 50 years ago? Are we thriving as men and women? No. Across the board, most would say no. We're more disconnected, we're more resentful, and we're more lost than we possibly ever have been. So this episode is about cutting through some of that bullshit and bringing clarity back to what is seen as a massive big Mess.
Why are men shamed for being strong? Why are women being gaslit out of their natural instincts? And how do we reclaim polarity back
without any of the modern narratives ruining things for us? Um, I'm going to get into the demonization of masculinity and femininity. Before I do though, I have already done an episode on why I don't believe masculinity is inherently toxic. Because the moment a man is He's expressing himself in a toxic way.
It's no longer his masculinity. That's not his masculinity. That is likely a lack of accountability. It's potentially immaturity, a lack of taking ownership and [00:02:00] responsibility for where, you know, he's going at things wrong in life. So I've gone in depth into this and this episode was called the war on masculinity.
Why strong men are feared. In fact, it was episode number.
32, so it was episode 32 and it was a very popular one out of all of my YouTube videos as well. So I put the podcast episodes to YouTube. You may be watching this on YouTube right now, but if you're listening to me as audio on the podcast, definitely go and check out the YouTube channel as well. And that episode is there if you'd like to watch me actually speak as opposed to just listen.
That one went off because I think a lot of men actually resonated with what I had to say, but also women did. I made it very clear in that episode that I believe masculinity is under attack on purpose, that it is
a tool of the system, of those that are in power, whatever that might be, whatever you believe it to be, whether that is systems, institutions, authorities, status quo at large. There is a deliberate attack on masculinity because you cannot control a society that has strong men. You cannot [00:03:00] control a society where a man is standing in his masculinity.
It's much easier to control and to manipulate a Society and culture in general, when the men are weakened, when the men have been feminized, it's a deliberate attack. I also see that as a deliberate reason why feminism is pushed onto women and why we are often encouraged to be more in a masculine frame than in our femininity.
Now, again, a lot of my listeners that are women, cause I obviously speak to men and women. We have a male and a female audience. A lot of women would resonate with, yes, they are feminine, but they also have traits that could be deemed as those that are on the masculine side. Like for instance, and I see myself this way, like discipline, consistency.
You know, strong willed got a very strong drive to succeed or maybe competitive in some way, shape or form, whatever it might be. I am not the person that's going to be here to tell you that you are not feminine. Okay. I [00:04:00] don't fit into a particular stereotype and neither do my audience. Women fit into a particular stereotype of what femininity is.
I'm not a feminist. I don't support the feminist movement. I don't agree with what it has turned into. I think it's an act, an absolute shit show at this point. And I do think it is glorifying women into becoming men or competing with men and to shame men and to hate on men. That's what I see the feminist movement at large has become.
So I'm not a feminist, but I also don't fit into the mold. And I also know most of my audience that are women don't fit into the mold. Of we are just, you know, these divine goddesses that are flowing in beautiful dresses 24 7, although that's awesome. I'm not dissing beautiful dresses, but you'll get what I mean, where we're just sitting around.
Just receive, receive, receive 24 7 and you know, baking bread constantly. And you know, there's this stereotypical, the tra wife, the traditional wife, which I love that there is a movement of going back to tradi, to traditions and going back to those. [00:05:00] Stereotypical gender roles, right? I do love that, but often a lot of us don't fit into a particular box or into a particular stereotype.
So I want you to know that even though I'm speaking on polarity and I'm speaking on men being in their masculinity, women being in their femininity, I'm not putting you in a box. I don't put myself in a box. That's not what this is about, but let's dive into it. So I believe masculinity is definitely under attack.
For a Particular reason strength, decisiveness, and leadership, and now labeled as toxic traits. I think that is on purpose. Strong men are seen as threats. While weak men, the ones that are apologetic 24 7, they're the ones that are praised as evolved. For instance, a man who is a feminist would be seen as an evolved man.
I actually don't see it that way at all. The modern world is deliberately softening men. It's on purpose. Because weak men don't stand up. Weak men will not challenge a system and push back. Think of this during COVID. There is no way that the mandates in Australia, like think of for instance, [00:06:00] Melbourne, I'm in Perth, Western Australia, but picture Victoria, Melbourne in particular, they had the worst lockdowns and,
and mandates like the mask mandates, the lockdowns, the stay at home orders, like pretty much in the world. It was shocking. Absolutely shocking. I can guarantee. That if there wasn't prior to COVID for years, there being a deliberate attack on masculinity and on men being in their masculinity, that that would not have been allowed in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, that more men would have stood up and said, this is not happening.
We are not, we're not abiding by this. We do not agree with this at all. It's not paranoia, by the way, if you see things differently, scrap that the modern world is softening on purpose, because as I said, I've already said that before. So I want to say to any man listening, if you've ever felt like you have to shrink, if you felt this pressure of shrinking as a man, you're not paranoid.
It's actually programming. It is designed that way. And women, if you've ever felt like strong men are getting harder and harder to find. It's not that your standards are too high. It's the system is actually training this out of existence. It's training strong, masculine men [00:07:00] out of existence.
And I want to talk about, so I've said why it was masculinity under attack. Why is femininity being rejected as well? Women who lead with warmth and grace are often dismissed as weak. They're seen as the weak ones. Women who want masculine leadership, so say in a relationship, they're often called pick me's or they're accused, as I said before, of setting women back 50 years.
I get called a pick me all the time on social media. As soon as I mentioned anything about the feminist movement that I don't agree with, I have been labeled a pick me. Oh, you pick me. Oh, has he picked you yet? As if, if you raise any questions about the feminist movement, or if you even say that you love strong masculinity in men, that you respect that in a man, you are instantly labeled as a pick me.
Again, I believe this is deliberate. It is social movement, if you will, of where everyone is just following each other and pick me.
Basically acting as sheep. It's like the cool thing now to call out who are the pick [00:08:00] me's just because they have a different view on the feminist movement. So I want to say
another thing is the only acceptable powerful woman these days are seen as ones that act like men. They compete with men. They're the ones that see femininity as a liability. And that's why I wanted to say that. Even though I am a feminine woman and I'm not a feminist, I am not out here competing with men.
I,
and this is why I wanted to make it clear that there are different.
And this is why I wanted to make it clear that you don't fit into a box as a feminine woman. You don't have to look a particular way or dress a particular way or have particular behaviors. It's more about how you move through the world and the energy that you exude, because. Yes, I am a feminine woman and yes, I am powerful and they're not separate to me.
A powerful woman does not compete with men. A powerful woman does not act like a man. A powerful woman does not see femininity as a liability. She can be all of the things in one. So women, if you've ever felt like you had to harden just to be respected, this is not empowerment. It's actually social engineering.
It is social engineering. A lot of this comes down to social engineering men. If you've ever felt like modern women are [00:09:00] more disconnected from their own feminine energy, you're not crazy. You're actually watch watching a system erase it much like the social engineering is erasing men's masculinity. It is also erasing women's femininity.
So how polarity is being replaced with resentment. Let's get into this one. So men and women have actually stopped working together. Now we are competing against each other. That's as clear as day. Men feel like they have to apologize simply for being masculine. This breaks my heart. Really, really breaks my heart.
Women feel like they have to outperform men just to be taken seriously. And I want to talk about this because a lot of women would say, yeah, I do feel like I have to outperform men. And I'm an ex police officer. I worked in a male dominated field, obviously as a police officer here in Western Australia.
In fact, my last policing station that I worked at, I was the only female with 24 males. I was it, I was the only female. So yeah, a lot of people would be like, wow, you must've really had to compete to be taken seriously or compete with men or act like one of the boys. And [00:10:00] listen, that was there as a buzz.
Like it was always there as a back, like this little bit of a noise. But I genuinely did not compete with the men at my station. I didn't, I knew that for me to be taken seriously, I did not need to be one of the boys. I did not need to out masculinize the boys, the guys. I didn't need to compete with them or act like a man, a man to be taken seriously.
Instead, I learned the power as a woman of my presence and of what my presence said without me even having to say a word, whether that was with my colleagues or out on a job, Where I was called to maybe a situation where there was a lot of men or just men in general, I learned how to, I mean, the common term is hold frame.
I don't mean in a masculine way, but just. Stand ground as a feminine woman, but with complete strength in that, that I bring something different to the table. I don't need to be a man to be taken seriously. I don't need to compete with men to be taken seriously. I am taken seriously because I fucking say so.[00:11:00]
And I stand in my femininity as a woman. Honestly, there's strength in that we don't have to outperform men to be taken seriously. Relationships have turned into power struggles, not partnerships. This is where you see a lot of. Basically just everyone's kind of friends owning each other, but in relationships, it's just your flatmates, your partner is now just your flatmate men.
If you hold frame, if you lead, if you refuse to shrink, modern women might resist you at first. Yes. Modern women may. Not because they don't want what you have to offer. It's because they're being conditioned to reject it. And I want to remind you of that. It is social conditioning. Same with women. If you feel like you can't trust a man's leadership, it's not because strong men don't exist.
It's because you've been conditioned to lead in a way that pushes them out. We are conditioned to do it all ourselves. We don't need no man, right? Like the feminist movement and to push them out of our lives. So we no longer need them. They have. They're not needed in our lives. That is what [00:12:00] modern feminism has done to women.
And I want to talk about the egalitarian lie. Equal partnerships have become roommate dynamics. Like I said before, everyone's just like flatmates now. They're not actually relationships. There's a reason why women who say they want equality still crave strong masculine presence in a man. Think of it this way.
If a woman was listening to this and she was a hardcore feminist, she might be like, well, no, I don't. I don't crave strong masculine presence in a man guarantee you if hit the fan and you needed emergency services like a police officer or firefighter, you will likely feel a lot safer in the presence of a man who stands in his strong masculinity.
A lot of women have confused that masculinity with toxic traits. So they see toxic traits in men as their masculinity, and it's not. Social engineering has made you think that that's what it is. But an actual strong, safe man is a masculine man because at the [00:13:00] core of masculinity is protection. That is what masculinity is.
So if you don't feel safe around them, they're likely not in their strong masculine traits. They're not standing in their masculinity. There's also a reason why men who say they want an independent woman still likely feel very drawn to warmth and receptivity or you might say softness in a woman because it's the opposite of the masculinity.
That's what brings a polarity. Men holding leadership is not about oppression. It's about trust and it's about presence. Women embracing our femininity doesn't have to mean submission. I know that almost seems like a dirty word these days. It's not about submission necessarily. It's about letting go of the constant need to control everything because in our relationship dynamics, If we, as women feel like we need to control everything, we simply don't feel safe in that man's leadership.
We don't feel safe in that man's word. Like maybe we feel like he's not a man of his word, or he [00:14:00] doesn't trust himself to follow through, but that doesn't create safety for the woman. But at some point we have to relinquish control. That's why I encourage you to listen to the episode I did on the war on masculinity, because I go in depth of how us women, and this came all from my own mistakes, how us women.
can contribute to the dysfunction in our relationships. It's not just on the man, it's both, it's equal. And how also we tear down a man's masculinity in ways we probably don't even realize it. So I want to talk about how to reclaim polarity without the bullshit. Bull shit. So I want to talk about how do we reclaim the polarity without all the bullshit.
So for men, Obviously it's about stepping into masculine leadership without apology. Now I want to make it clear this episode is not about teaching men how to be men. That would be really disgusting because I'm not a man. I don't know what it means to be a man. I have never lived as a man. All right. So I don't know, but what I am trying to encourage is to stop.
Stop explaining, stop over explaining, stop seeking permission as a man for you standing in your masculinity. You [00:15:00] have my full support and the women who listen to this podcast, you have all of our support in your masculinity. We crave it. We desire more of that in this world. I encourage men to lead with that calm conviction of, yes, the world might be against you at the moment.
Yes, the world might be against your strong masculinity. But there are many of us out there who get labeled as pick me's who support you standing in that masculinity, your presence as a man creates stability in the world that is so needed right now. And another thing with masculinity, I don't see it as a performance.
There's this over the top thing with like bro coaches online. They're all about screaming and dominance and like getting all the men together, but in like big scream fests and it's almost like puff up your chest and be this big he man type thing. And I see that as a massive performance. It's a turnoff to me as a woman.
It is performative masculinity. To me, Your [00:16:00] masculinity is not something that as a man, that you need to be taught by another guy. It's removing all of the hesitation. That's there. It's the conditioning. Your masculinity is already in you. It's there. You're a man. It's there. It's just about removing all of society's conditioning and the social engineering that has layered on top of you.
Be quiet, shut up. Don't speak or you're toxic. Don't say this. Don't speak your actual truth. Don't stand up against mandates or the government or authorities. Don't you dare. You have to just abide by everything and agree with women. Otherwise you're labelled as XYZ. It's about removing all of that. Your masculinity is there.
It's already there. It's just removing all the shit that was piled on top of it. Women. How polarity? 1. Stop competing. We don't need to compete with men. We don't need to be men. Stop proving and stop resisting. These are big ones that I've learned over time. We don't need to prove ourselves to anybody.
That is [00:17:00] in that competition. That's in that need to control kind of energy, needing to control how we are seen, needing to control the way that we are perceived by others. And it's, it's this constant resistance. The more that we live in that energy, the more that we naturally are fighting against our instincts, our natural instincts as a woman.
I want to point out, being soft doesn't mean that you're weak. I don't mean a lot of people do equate those as the same. And I used to being soft, isn't weak. It means being so rooted in your self trust that you don't need to control everything. That's a difference. If you are a chronic control freak, you likely are at war against your natural instincts, instincts as a woman.
Another thing would be for all of us women is to learn how to recognize strong men, instead of resisting them, instead of resisting the awesome traits that they have. Yeah. Learning to recognize and actually praise those traits. Especially if you're in a relationship with a man, like praising the traits that we love to see in our men, as opposed to [00:18:00] pointing out all the things that we don't like.
And I also want to point out that feminine energy isn't just softness because that is the word that you see on social media, especially on Instagram, 24 seven, when it comes to people trying to teach us how to be feminine, it's like, shut up. Softness is not the only thing. It's also depth and warmth and intuition and fire.
And that's why I come at this with a different lens. You don't have to be this soft little marshmallow, even though marshmallows are awesome. You don't have to be this soft little marshmallow where it's almost like you are watering yourself down and shrinking yourself as a woman just so that you don't come off as masculine.
Like that's absurd. You can be fiery and still be feminine. You can be bold and courageous and be just this incredible leader in your sphere and be feminine. They're not disjointed things. You can be all of that rolled into one. Polarity is about the energy. It's about the energy that you [00:19:00] bring to everything.
To your relationships, to your workplace, your career, whatever it might be to being a parent, the energy that we bring is what is contributing to the polarity. So if you have a man in his masculinity and a woman in her femininity, again, without fitting into any particular stereotypical boxes, I don't float in dresses 24 seven.
That doesn't mean I'm not feminine, right? But those two together and the energy that they bring are the polarity. Men lead best when they feel respected, whereas women thrive when they feel safe. Think of that for a second. If a man feels respected by his woman, he is going to lead the best. And when a woman feels safe from the man's masculinity, she thrives.
Those two things, you respect your man as a woman, he will lead incredibly. If he's a good man, of course, if the man provides safety for the woman, she will follow you. If she's a good woman, of [00:20:00] course. And I just want to call out for men. Are you shrinking yourself in relationships just to make women feel comfortable, whether that's your intimate relationship, your friendship circles or family, like your immediate family, your extended family could be in workplaces.
I see a lot of men that do shrink themselves these days, and I find it really gross. I'm not going to lie. I find it really gross. The men who come across to me as chronic people pleases to the point that they're more concerned with what I think of them than what they think of themselves. Like it's evident.
Like if I ask a simple question and they have to over explain to me. Or they're making sure that what they say is palatable so that I receive it well, but not just in a kind way, like, you know, they're insecure way, like, it's very, very obvious to me very, very quickly, they're shrinking themselves. They want to make me feel comfortable, but at the expense of their own self respect, it's not done in a kind way.
It's actually manipulation because they're more concerned with [00:21:00] the way that they are perceived. So they are orchestrating and manipulating the situation so that they're seen as in a good light based off what they think I want to hear. It grosses me out. Men, are you waiting for women to approve of your masculinity instead of just owning it?
Again, I'm not here trying to teach men how to be men. That's not my gig. That's not my role. That's not what I want to do in life, but are masculinity instead of just owning it? Think about it in all the different areas of your life. Do you just own it? Because even if you ruffle feathers, I guarantee you'll be respected as a man.
If you stand in your masculinity, despite not getting people's approval for it, despite not getting society's approval or the system at large's approval, if you stand in your strong masculinity, I guarantee you will be respected. Even if you're not liked, you will be respected. And most strong masculine men.
And most women would say they would rather be respected over being [00:22:00] liked. Anyway, men, are you apologizing for holding frame instead of being the grounded presence that she actually craves? Cause the more that you over apologize, you literally are chipping away at your masculinity. It's like you're covering it in, in rubble constantly.
And for women, are you rejecting strong men? Because you've been conditioned to fear leadership. This can link back to childhood, teenage years, past relationships. I understand that. And no, we're not responsible for things that may have occurred when we were younger or for the relationship dynamics we may have had with men in our lives when we were younger, but we are responsible for the healing.
This does not mean that we get to just shit all over every single man in the future because of something a man or a couple of men did when we were younger. I say that with all the love in the world. We are responsible for our healing and every single man in the future is not to blame because of someone else's past behaviors and past actions towards you.
If you are constantly rejecting strong men, [00:23:00] it's likely you have been conditioned to fear leadership because you had shitty examples of men leading when you were younger. That is not masculinity's fault. It's not. That is the unhealed aspects of particular men. It's not their masculinity though.
Another question for women. Are you competing with the man in your life instead of letting polarity create natural balance? Again, like I said in the masculinity episode that I did that I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, a lot of this comes from my own mistakes in relationships, right? I'm not saying I have arrived and I have all the answers.
This comes from lived experience of making mistakes. Thanks. Are you clutching onto control because it feels safer than surrendering into trust? Sometimes we've got to be the ones that go first. I know this is contrary to what a lot of people out there would say, but women, sometimes we have to surrender first and then the man feels respected and he will just rise up in his masculinity and in his natural leadership.
Sometimes we have to go first.
[00:24:00] If you answered yes to any of the things, for instance, women, are you clutching onto control? Are you competing with men? Are you rejecting strong men? We are literally playing right into the system's hands. That is what is happening. And it's the moment that we break free from that, everything begins to shift, whether that is in intimate relationships, relationships with males in our family, with friends, with coworkers, with employees, whatever.
Men need polarity because it actually sharpens them. When a masculine man is in the presence of a feminine woman, his masculinity is sharpened. And us women need polarity because it allows us to trust again. You likely can think of a time where you felt like you didn't trust men because a particular man kind of squandered that and shat all over that.
And then you've likely had a man in your life who helped you to trust again. It's the same for men. When they're with a feminine woman, it sharpens their masculinity and it builds that respect in that man. We both [00:25:00] need each other to reject the programming because that programming is continually keeping men and women at war with each other and it's dysfunctional and it's so unhealthy.
So I just want to say with this particular episode, if it called you out at all, good. That's what we're here for. Same with myself. But it also means we're waking up to the system. We're waking up to the social engineering, like with the feminist movement. And just a side note, I actually see, if you've heard of the red pill movement, I might even do a full episode on this, but I see that as the men's example of the feminist movement.
I'm not a fan of the red pill movement. Again, I'll go into this more in depth separately, but it is, it's almost. They're overdoing it is the performative masculinity. And to the point though, that they just see women as objects and they just see women as something that they can basically have sex with and move on to the next one.
And we are objects and they, they think that they're being super masculine. These big, he, man, he, men type of things. But the red [00:26:00] pill movement to me is literally the exact same thing as modern feminism is, but just for men. It's gross. I don't support the feminist movement, but I also don't support the red pill movement.
I see both have massive, massive flaws. They're very performative, and they're actually pushing the people that are part of those movements out of their natural instincts. The feminist movement is pushing women. Outta their femininity and into their masculinity. Whereas the red pill movement is almost making, not almost, it is making masculinity a very performative thing.
It's not masculine, it's not a masculine thing. To me it's, it's insecure boys who are performing their masculinity and it's stands out from a mile away. I'll do another episode on that, , but I have a question for you. What's one thing society has told you about masculinity or femininity that you now realize was complete?
And utter bullshit. I think for me, one of the things for myself personally was being taught by society, not by anyone in particular, [00:27:00] but being taught that femininity was weakness. I went through a stage where I did think that when I was younger, where like in my twenties, where I kind of felt like. I was being weak.
If I allowed a man to even open a door for me or hold a door for me or pull out a chair for me, it was like, I can do it myself. I'm not weak. It was almost like if I needed help from somebody else, that was weakness. So if I was too feminine, I'm being too weak. And yeah, a lot of that comes from social engineering and from things like the feminist movement.
And I reject all of that now. I think it's bullshit, but I still don't think that as a feminine woman, you have to fit a particular mold. You don't have to be this, Divine goddess woman who's baking sourdough bread at home 24 seven and who never has a bad moment and she's just perfect and poised and put together like that's just not reality.
But yeah, I hope you've gotten something out of this episode. Let me know your thoughts. What are your views on polarity and in relationships? And yeah, I'd love to chat with you. Have a great week legends. Bye [00:28:00]
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