Ep. 54 | 🍿Comment Chaos: Fat Shaming vs. Obesity Glorification, Where’s the Balance?
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Welcome back legends. My laptop sounds like it's about to take off like an airplane. So I'm going to sit back and keep the microphone close to me rather than to my laptop. And hopefully you cannot hear this in the audio. Anyway, I want to talk to you about, and actually go through the comments that we received in relation to the body positivity episode. which was episode 51 body positivity, bravery, or bullshit. Had some really good comments from this, so let's dive into them.
So let's start off on YouTube. I'm actually going to look, I'm going to read it off the screen here, but I'm going to look at the, uh, YouTube short clips first and see what comments we got on those.
Remembering always people don't have context or any seeing like 30 seconds of. What could be an hour long episode, so they're not having full context. So this was the very first comment that I got on one of the clips. Uh, this is from users, ed P a H nine. Just in case you are serious body positivity is not, not in capital.
[00:01:00] So not what you think it is. like.dot dot. Have wrinkles question mark. That is cool. Have cellulite, even if you were skinny question mark, perfectly fine and normal. Overweight question mark. It happens. Don't hate yourself. Just focus on improving your health and losing weight. So they're saying that's what the body positivity movement is.
And yes. The body positivity movement is not just about weight, fully aware of that. And in obviously the long form episode, I mentioned that the body positivity movement goblets and mouthful started for numerous reasons. One was to combat fat shaming, right? Because every person on the planet deserves dignity, but it also started as a way to combat. Unrealistic beauty standards, which is what, which I mentioned in the episode, which is what this covers like for instance, wrinkles and cellulite and all of the above.
Yeah. I'm fully aware of that. And I [00:02:00] specifically was talking though about the, about weight, right? Because in my opinion, yes, there is a good part of the body positivity movement, which I made very clear in that episode. I think those things are important. I think it's very important to combat fat shaming.
I think it's very important to not have unrealistic beauty standards. I'm a makeup artist. I don't work in the makeup industry anymore, but I did for many years for multiple really good companies. So I've worked a lot in that industry where there is unrealistic beauty standards and it is ridiculous.
And all of the images that are out there selling makeup, a completely airbrushed and fake, and the products. You know, some of the products. Literally the same thing as maybe a drug store chemist store brand, but you know, they've got a name to them so they can make them 10 times the price. Like I understand that there's so much more that goes on in like the beauty world, the beauty community and the beauty standards. Community out there. But. This episode was specifically about [00:03:00] bodies as in wait.
Right. And have we just gone from stopping fat shaming to now glorifying obesity? So obviously this individual doesn't have full context, but I responded to this comment and I said, Legit. My message. If you hear the episode in full don't hate yourself, that's redundant, but don't buy into the message that self-love means we don't need to improve.
What's unhealthy. So yeah, I'm dead serious on that message. And obviously that just brings a little bit more context to the individual because I understand that if you only see a 30 second clip, that's just talking about, you know, Wait then obviously they're going to think, oh, they're going to assume that that's what I think the body positive movement is only about.
No, I know there's a lot more to it. I mentioned that in the long form episode, Uh, someone else on one of the clips that was body positivity, empowering or dangerous. Robert, thank you for your comment. He said, I agree with you, Holly. Uh, someone else on one of the clips that has stopped calling this real fat to fake, that was the [00:04:00] title I gave it.
They did the clapping hands, emojis. I'm actually surprised that a lot of people like didn't go off. Like, I'm not going to lie. Because it is such a sensitive topic it's sensitive, but it involves our bodies. It involves our weight. It's super duper sensitive. And I actually thought that people might. Go hard on this, to be honest.
So I'm quite surprised. On the long form episode. So the full length episode, Tim, he's a regular commenter. Hi Tim. Thank you for your comment. He's written. I actually thought the body positivity movement originally started with disabled people. Like people with one arm or one leg or paralyze somehow. Possibly by the way before I continue, you could very well be right there.
I'm not a hundred percent sure. Plenty of the fat acceptance influences are dying. Now I wouldn't call it self destruction. I think it's more a lack of self responsibility. I'm 63 ish centimeters and 50 kilos. And being a man there's no [00:05:00] body positivity. It's fine to shame short men, a quick look at social media is proof of that.
Yet he has a point. He has a point. It is common to mock and to shame short men. That is a thing. I've given up trying to find clothes that fit I've started sewing my own. Wow. That's a talent bloody. That's a talent. Huge kudos on healing your body. Thank you, Tim. I really, really appreciate that. And then on one of the short clips, it was titled self-love is discipline, not denial.
He said, this is Tim again. I very much agree with you. One thing to notice that I see in here, self love being used a lot. It's the magic cure for every issue you can imagine, but I haven't come across a good explanation of what it really is. Uh, interesting. Self-love you know what self-love is to me, you're going to get a different take to what most people would say. I think self-love is radical responsibility. [00:06:00] Discipline. And high levels of self-trust. I would put those up.
There is three of the top things too. I would say cultivate in your life as having the highest levels of self-love. Because if you think about it, if you genuinely love yourself, you will take radical responsibility for everything that you possibly can in your life. Everything. It is the highest level of showing yourself love and care.
Your, your, you are God, listen to me. You are responsible for your life. Obviously we're not responsible for everything that happens in our life. We have no control over external circumstances, but what we do have control over, if we take responsibility for that, and this includes our health to bring it back to this topic, that to me is a highest level of self-love discipline. Discipline is literally devotion inaction.
Like it is devotion to yourself. Discipline could be, and I'm not talking about extremism of like just needing control, [00:07:00] control, control. Cause then that can go from self-love to self-sabotage very, very quickly. So I'm talking about it in a balanced, healthy way, but discipline for me is taking care of my body is moving.
My body discipline for me is, you know, taking care of not just physically, but also the foods that I eat, what I consume, which could be not just food, but also what I consume online, what I consume in shows and audio like podcasts. It could be listening to my body's cues, but being disciplined in the fact that don't just take the piss.
So for instance, Sure. If I'm feeling unwell, I'm not going to go to the gym that day. That is self-love. But if I just feel a little bit at. I'm still going to go to the gym. Cause that is self-love. It's about knowing the difference between the two. And then the other one, honestly, following through on your word is one of the highest levels of showing self-love. Because that ties in with discipline that ties in with self-respect that ties in with self responsibility.
But the more self-trust [00:08:00] you have, the more confidence you have. So, yeah, my idea of self love is going to be very different to a lot of people's sure. Self love can also be unwinding in a beautiful bath. Right? Nice bubble bath. That is. Mm, delicious. Another form of self love could be reading a book in bed.
Like, yes, there are all those things. But to me, honestly, My take on self love is going to be different to most. It is radical. Self-responsibility cultivating discipline and having high high levels of self-trust. That to me is devotion to yourself. Inaction. So, yeah, that's my take. I'd love to know your take, actually, what's your idea of self-love because I, I, without me Googling it here, let me, let me actually give you the Google definition.
Let's do that. Definition. Of self. Love. Regard for one's own wellbeing and happiness. Well, there you go. I think the, the best ways to have. Absolute regard for your wellbeing [00:09:00] and happiness is radical. Self-responsibility discipline and high levels of self-trust. And then your self-respect and your confidence goes through the goddamn roof. I promise you that.
Thank you, Tim. They were really good comments. I really appreciate you being a kind of, part of the conversation. Let's go over to Tik TOK. It's always a minefield on Tik TOK. Isn't it. Okay. So we've got one of the clips that went there, which was titled body positivity, empowering, or dangerous. And someone by do better has commented 100%. What started as that is now actual lies to say people can't physically lose weight to cover for their own inadequacies. And it's leaking. You can find videos of young girls and women who have actively been harmed by the nonsense.
This movement has become. They definitely have a good point. I think that young people are being harmed. Now I do think, let me just say this. I think that young people can be harmed by the message of everyone needs to be anorexic, because that used to be the message, the [00:10:00] message used to be let's glorify anorexic models, and everyone just needs to, you know, be so super unhealthily skinny. Otherwise, you're not beautiful.
Like that was a shocking message to spread. And I don't support that message, you know? And I think that that. Has a lot to do with why the body positivity movement has turned into the base that it has. Right. So I do understand that. And I think that that anorexic message that was sent out was not healthy.
And I think that that has contributed to a lot of. You know, young girls and guys eating disorders, right. Because they would literally go and into a toilet and vomit up their food so that they wouldn't have calories added to their body. And then that would be, that would end up being anorexic or that would have chronic bulemia like it was. It was messy.
It was horrible. So I understand why the movement has turned into what it has. But my issue with it is it's now gone too far. The pendulum has swung too far that now, but glorifying the opposite of that. And we're now glorifying obesity because it's [00:11:00] under the guise of body acceptance. Um, Let's not fat shame everybody.
And let's just love our bodies as they are. It's gone too far to now. Let's just love ourselves. Into death, right? Because body positivity has now turned into obesity glorification, in my opinion. And so I think yes, that now young people are being harmed of the fact that now we don't have to take responsibility for what we eat.
We can just eat. Whatever shit we want to eat, and nobody can say anything to us. And you know that otherwise they're fat shaming, and that's not a good message. There's got to be balanced. This is my thing. There has to be some form of balance. I don't believe in being super rigid to the point that you don't enjoy your life. Like I said that in the full episode, I don't, I don't agree with that.
Like I'm for instance me, if, if I was weighing all my food, if I was counting every single calorie, if I wouldn't miss a gym session, because. Like, even if I was sick and unwell like that to me would be a [00:12:00] control issue. That's not me. Right. I have a lot of balance in my life. I enjoy food that isn't always the most healthiest, but I balance it out and I don't shame myself for that.
I don't hold regret or like anger or like. belittle myself or go to the gym as a form of punishment. Like I've just that I've worked through all that shit years ago. That is not me. That's not my message. I believe very much in balance. My way of showing myself love is taking care of myself, but in a really balanced, healthy way, I love my life.
I love my body. I take so much care of it. But that doesn't mean that I don't eat junk food every now and then I'm like, who gives a shit? I enjoy my life. That doesn't mean that occasionally I don't miss a gym session who gives a shit, I'll be back there the next day. Like I'm very balanced. So I'm not here to say that I think the entire body positivity movement is shit.
Now I don't think that, but I also don't think that now we need to go and glorify obesity because yes, young people are now being harmed or the cool thing is to [00:13:00] just eat so much shit. To just be lazy. See you next Tuesdays, and to not take accountability for our bodies. And I don't think that that's a healthy message. We've got a few random comments, like nice one or someone's laughed at one of them.
Like just random comments. I actually I'm surprised. Oh, hang on. Here's one here. So there is a clip called the dark turn of the body positivity movement. And someone Rowe has said, Holly, very powerful statement. My sister, we should always encourage each other to be the best version of ourselves.
Self-love is key to a successful and positive life. Thank you wrote what a great comment. I do agree. And again, my version of self love might be different to yours. My version of self love is radical self responsibility, high levels of discipline. And again, not in a controlling over the top way. Um, and high levels of self-trust.
So, and yeah, I think they create an incredible life. Is that all the comments. Wow. I'm not going to lie. I had to go through a [00:14:00] minefield of comments from my anti-Semite. Video. When I first got into Tik TOK right now, they're all the comments that were like pinging at the top. That episode. Those clips have gone off on Tik TOK or at least one in particular. So that'll be a fun comment.
Chaos episode.
That's all the comments for now. So yeah, so far, really well received. The, um, the episode has been really well received. It's been shared. I appreciate you sharing it. And look, I know it's a sensitive topic. Actually. One thing I did misspeak in the full episode, I listened to it back and there was one point that I said something about love handles. And I misspoke because the way that it came across, as if I was saying it's bad to have love handles, or I can't remember exactly what I said, but I was saying that, you know, all the sheet of saying like you're big boned and love handles and blah, blah, blah.
I misspoke. And no one pointed it out to me. This has not come from that. When I listen to it, I was like, oh, I really want to clarify that. I'm not saying love, handles a bad, I just want to make that clear. I was [00:15:00] saying that, but I didn't quite finish my sentence. I often get like my mind just like ping, ping, ping a million miles away, like right now. And I get thrown off on different tangents.
What I was actually saying was, and I was alluding to the fact that people say, oh, I'm just big boned or I'm thick when really it's like severe obesity saying we'd love handles. I've actually heard online of people who have very, very obese saying, oh, they've just got love handles. And it's like, no, it's it's fat.
Like it's not just love handles. I don't think love handles are a bad thing. I have bloody oath. I've got love handles. I'm sitting right now in a pair of jeans and the top is pushing my skin down on top of my jeans. It looks like love handles, right? I'm not dissing love. And it was, I want to make that clear. I just thought I'd point that out, because if you're sitting in the car, listening to that episode and you look down and you've got love handles, it probably sounded like I was mocking
and I definitely am not. I mean in the way of when again, someone is like severly obese and they're just saying, oh, I'm big boned or I'm thick, or I've just got love handles and it's complete and utter denial. It's [00:16:00] like full on visceral fat around your organs that is slowly killing you and that needs to be addressed.
So just to clarify, I'm not against love handles. I don't think love handles are bad. They're normal. They're part of our body. As soon as you stand up and you don't have them. And then as soon as you sit down, you have love handles. It's it's skin guys. When you stand up, it's stretch. When you sit down, it's not, it's a normal part of life, so yeah, don't let that episode. Make anybody?
Not that I can make you do anything. Go and spiral into thinking. Yeah, you have to work on your love handles. No, you don't. Okay. No, you don't. Everything comes with balance. Anyway, we'll leave it there. I don't know if you've got so as always. Thank you for your comments. Thanks for the messages about the episode.
I've got some Instagram messages about it. We had some good dialogue about it, and some of you found me very direct, but quite funny. So thank you for that feedback. I definitely don't intend to ever hurt anybody, but I understand that words can sting. It's a sensitive topic. And it's why it was a longer episode.
That one went for about an hour because I wanted to give [00:17:00] context. I wanted to give my own lived experience. I wanted to explain it all so that you knew I wasn't just being an asshole. Like it comes with absolute love. That'd be that's guys have a awesome week. Bye.
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