Ep. 21 | The Anxiety Rebellion: My Controversial Challenge to Mainstream
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hey Legends. Welcome back to controversial as fuck. Now I recorded this episode yesterday. Let me explain. I did a full episode yesterday where I was talking about anxiety and briefly touched on depression. And, you know, it's weird because I was very excited to actually record the episode. It's something that I'm super passionate about talking about, but for whatever reason, when I hit record doing that episode, felt like trudging through mud.
It just was not coming together. The words were not flowing. Something was up. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I pushed through and I did the episode and it was completed. And then I was just like, no. I can't put my finger on what's wrong, but I need to rerecord it. So here we are day after and I'm going to have another crack at it.
And the reason is. I want. My message to come through. Very, very clear. This is a controversial topic in itself. Obviously controversials fuck. I'd talk about anything, but it can also be a [00:01:00] very loaded conversation because it's, it's something that affects pretty much every person on the planet to some degree. I'm predominantly going to be talking about anxiety, touch on depression at the Amber predominantly anxiety. What I'm going to discuss is very different to mainstream.
Let me make that clear. It's different. I wanted to give her a different take. I want my take on anxiety to actually be of help and be of service to you. I'm not here to just parrot what is out there, what you can Google or what, you know, mainstream medical associations are pushing right. I want my voice to be different with that though.
I don't do that flippantly. I'm not here to be a rebel without a cause I'm not here to try to be like, Ooh, look at me. I'm so tough. I have a different take on anxiety and. You know, it's slaps mainstream in their face. It's not for that. It's so that it's actually helpful and I'm treading. Carefully, but also not. Let me explain I'm treading carefully in, in the fact that I'm not wanting to hurt anybody.
[00:02:00] Right. And, and I D won't be deliberately hurting anybody, but sometimes I know that when I discuss certain topics, When I discuss them from a different lens, that in itself can be very confronting for somebody who's experiencing what I'm discussing. So for instance, when I spoke about the transgender movement, if someone listening to that was transgender, it would be a hard pill to swallow. Or when I talk about pronouns and why, I think it's utterly ridiculous to use pronouns on social media.
Like when you're clearly a female or you're clearly a dude, like let's stop trying to people, please, everybody that would be very confrontational for someone to hear. Who's like unpro putting pronouns on their social media. So I'm aware of this fact. I want you to understand that with this conversation, It is coming from lived experience one which I'll get into, but it also comes from experience in studying trauma and in studying modalities that are different again to mainstream. So let's dive into it [00:03:00] with something like anxiety. Then what tends to happen is if you say. I suffer from anxiety and you go to a doctor, a doctor will pretty much instantly, most doctors will pretty much instantly put you on. Uh, some form of antianxiety medication, right?
That is pretty much the norm. That's pretty much what is what he's done across the board. Some doctors will also encourage, you know, maybe talk therapy, go see a therapist, but predominantly you'll be put on medication. Now let me make it clear. I'm not anti medication. And this episode is not being antique medication.
Instead, my message is about getting to the root cause. If you currently take any form of antianxiety medication. I'm not telling you to not take it. I want to make that clear. I'm not telling you to stop taking your medication, or if you're considering going on medication, I'm not telling you not to. That is none of my goddamn business and I'm not here trying to act like I know everything about medication.
I don't, [00:04:00] that's not what this message is about. So please just let me make that very clear right up. That is something for you to discuss with your doctor? What I am saying is the reason why my message is different to mainstream is my message is let's get to the root cause, because that is often not. Discussed.
It's not even something that seems to be. Broached or, you know, there's, there's no money to be made in getting to the root cause. let's be clear, pharmaceutical companies thrive on us being unwell. Pharmaceutical companies make their billions. By the population being sick, being unwell, being riddled with anxiety or depression. That's how they thrive. They don't thrive by us being well, right there. It's in place for a reason. Again, I'm not anti-medication.
I think that there is a place for medicine in this world. Right? We need medicine. Especially when it comes to like emergency situations, I'm all for that. Don't go input. Olive oil on a gunshot wound and think that it's going to [00:05:00] heal it. Don't go put lavender oil on a broken leg and think that that's going to heal it.
Right. We need medication. We need. You know, pharmaceuticals to a degree, we need medicine, right? It's, it's incredible. And it will help to save lives. And it does on the daily hope to save lives. What I don't like is when it is the first point of call for literally everything for literally everything these days.
Because I think that these companies are making a shit ton of money off society being unwell. And that's why with this podcast, I'm all about self authority and self-trust, and self-governance, and being a sovereign individual that. We go within for the answers. And when we go within that may mean we take a medication for something, right. Like, let my message be loud and clear right now.
Again, I'm not saying don't take medication for something. You may go within and the answer for you is to take a particular thing for whatever it might be. Right. Whereas to someone else it's not to take it. And that's totally okay. It's our own journey in life. What I don't like is that it is the first point of [00:06:00] call.
So when we talk about anxiety, I first would like to talk about, by the way, if you see me look down while I'm on YouTube, I have notes on my phone. At first, I would like to talk about emotions. Before I get into the full on conversation about anxiety.
I am quite a visual person. I'm also kinesthetic.
So touch. So if someone was to try to teach me something, I have to physically practice it for myself to learn it. I can't just hear someone explain it to me and me get it, or have to visually see something, right. I'm not so great with auditory, which is funny. Cause I love podcasts, but for me to actually learn and to copy something like to actually learn a skill, I need to be able to practice it for myself.
I can't just hear somebody's instructions and then instantly. Really get it. With this, if you are similar, especially when it comes to visuals, this may help you to understand what is going on inside our bodies. When we feel emotions that we don't want to feel. So I want you to picture. Our bodies in our brain.
We have the [00:07:00] hypothalamus. So it's a small gland. In our brain and basically our hypothalamus is releasing these things called peptides, which essentially are emotions, right? So you picture the hypothalamus releases these peptides, which then go through the pituitary gland and then into the bloodstream.
Then these peptides attach to receptor sites in all different cells throughout our body. So, again, picture these peptides as emotions. This will make so much sense in a second. Okay. So right now, picture yourself feeling a really happy, joyful kind of emotion. Like something that's considered high frequency, high vibe, kind of emotion. What is going on is that is released from the hypothalamus.
As I say, goes through the pituitary gland, goes into the bloodstream and then it's attached to a cell via receptors site on the cell. This cell then metabolizes that peptide. So the cell, while you're feeling that emotion is metabolizing, that peptide it's metabolizing that [00:08:00] emotion. And eventually that emotion is released, right.
We don't feel an emotion for the rest of life. You don't feel one emotion and that's it. You're stuck with that one emotion for all of eternity that would suck if it was one that you really didn't like. Right. So you don't feel joy forever. Eventually it fades. Okay. We get emotions, come and go. But that in a nutshell is what is happening on a molecular level inside our body on a cellular level. Think of it, if you are experiencing and you are feeling an emotion that you don't deem as a very nice one to feel, let's say shame because everybody has felt shame at some point in life, you feel shame for something for your past.
For instance, when you're reminded of that, let's say you get a flashback to something from your past that you feel ashamed about. All of a sudden that emotion is being felt. If all of a sudden you suppress that emotion, right? And you're like, nah, I'm not feeling that. And you try to replace it with something else.
Or what tends to happen is you [00:09:00] start eating food. Or you go and vape or smoke a cigarette, or you start drinking alcohol, you take pharmaceutical drugs. You do online shopping real quick. You're like, oh, I don't want to feel that quick. Let's get out the phone and start doing the doom's stay scroll.
Right. And just stuck in into a scroll hold, whatever it might be. We are trying to suppress that emotion. What is happening as the cell is actually metabolizing that peptide and then trying to metabolize that emotion instead it's halted, but guess what? That peptide doesn't go anywhere. It's now undigested and clogged up inside of the cell. This is why we say that, you know, emotions can lead to sickness sickness. Uh, illness disease is linked to an emotional and energetic thing in our body. Right.
It's not just coincidence that people get illnesses or disease or whatever. Obviously there's a lot more to it. It can be linked to lifestyle. It can be linked to our diet. It can be linked to the environment, all sorts of things, but it also can [00:10:00] be linked to emotions that are unprocessed. That are undigested that are clogged up inside the cells of our body. Because what happens is when they are suppressed. For instance, that shame, as I said, you are experiencing shame.
You're feeling shame whether consciously or not you suppress it, whether you are actively trying to suppress it or your body just goes into protective mode and instantly tries to shut it down. It's like a board, a board. Shutdown shutdown shuts down the sales function. It stops the cell from metabolizing that emotion.
And as I said, it completely shuts down the function of the cell, which means that normal cellular function has been suppressed, which means even for instance, Cells are able to transport information all throughout the body, right? That is part of their function that gets halted. So the cells health has now been compromised. Which means you think about it.
This is why. God, I love this topic. I get so [00:11:00] fired up about this topic. It actually gets me emotional. This is why as adults, we can be walking around in adult bodies and experiencing things that don't make sense for our life. Right now, for instance, you may have an incredible relationship and incredible business or job you may feel so fulfilled in your life.
You may have you. You know, luxury in life. You're comfortable. You live in a good neighborhood. You have awesome friends, great community. You love you to kids or whatever it might be, right. Your family is doing awesome. But there's something that is affecting you as an adult today. For instance, you may feel like you are addicted to vaping, addicted to alcohol, addicted, to taking prescription medication.
That is very common. By the way, you may feel addicted to work. That is a big one. You have become a chronic workaholic. You can't stop. You can't sit still. That was one that I struggled with. I just could never be still. I could never just be myself. I was constantly [00:12:00] feeling like I had. To be doing something.
My family would come and visit and I'd be in the kitchen, scrubbing the kitchen bench for no fricking reason whatsoever. I just didn't feel comfortable to be, to just be still, to rest, to just take some time out. Right. Some people feel like they're chronically addicted to video games or to porn or to online shopping to gambling. It can be so many different things. The reason is it's not always to do with what is going on in our life right now.
Sometimes it is to do with things from our past that are not digested. We think in our minds, It's over. Right. Maybe it's something from our childhood. Maybe it's something from being a teenager. Maybe we went through a really hard time or we're just like, look. As an adult, we can rationalize it. And we're like, it wasn't that bad.
Like yes. It's sucked as a kid. Yes. It felt like hell was a kid or yes, I struggled with that when I was a child or a teenager or a young adult. But as an adult, we're like, yeah, but I'm good. Like, [00:13:00] look at me. I'm successful. I'm doing well. I'm X, Y, Z. I've moved on. Sure mentally, you may feel like you have moved on, but your body never got the goddamn memo. I'm losing my voice already. I get fired up your body.
Never got the memo. This is why like visually picture all of us as adults walking around with clogged up cells inside our body. These cells still have stored emotions from our past, from our child, that childhood that never got digested properly. Because they were suppressed. And the cells are not functioning properly. This then plays out as you know, terrible sleep nightmares.
This can play out as jaw. Clenching is a massive one that you see this can play out is unexplained pains. Which can be chronic in like digestive issues, right? Stomach pains, for instance. This can play out in anxiety, which I'm about to get into depression. It can play [00:14:00] out in numbing behaviors, like what I went through before or different ways that we numb, whether it's vapes or alcohol or porn, or, you know, shopping addiction, whatever it might be. This plays out, as I said earlier in the inability to be still and to rest, or just chronically feeling on edge, like we're in fight or flight mode. Or in complete shutdown and we're numb.
We don't feel anymore. We know that you just don't feel we're so numb to the world. We are having conversations with people and like our bodies are there, but it's like, no, one's home. When num was shut down. This is chronic. I see this. It's chronic right. Amongst the population. And. This is why I talk so passionately about this subject.
And I could talk about this subject to the cows, come home, like. It just, it, it gets me moving. It gets me motivated to want to help to do something about it. And the first point of call is to talk about it. So. Pitcher that right? All the cells [00:15:00] in our body, not all of them, some of them are clogged up.
Some of them are undigested. Now specifically, I'm going to talk about anxiety, but again, this can play out in so many different ways that I mentioned before. And you may already have had light bulb moments where you're like, oh my gosh, this makes sense. But mentally I've moved on from things from the past, but I never actually did anything to heal from it. My body never got the memo. My body didn't know that it was over. And this is where I just want to briefly talk about trauma.
Now I know that that word is a loaded word in itself. I understand that. Right. You tend to be. As a very confident self leading self responsible self trusting kind of individual, the individuals that listened to this podcast. You likely will fall in one of two camps. This is something that I found in doing trauma studies and in actually doing trauma services. Actually before I get into it, let me just say this.
So I currently am not running any services. This podcast episode is not to promote my [00:16:00] services to you. I want to make that clear, even though I hold zero shame in selling. If I was selling something right. When you have a business, you are meant to sell. I have zero shame in selling. I do not get fearful of selling.
I don't have like some big issue with selling to people I'm comfortable selling. Right. But that's not what this podcast is. I have nothing to sell to you right now, other than an idea. Other than a way of viewing life. That is literally what I'm selling to you. It's just a different way of viewing this topic than what is mainstream.
That's all I have to sell to you. Okay. So I was just for backstory. I used to be a police officer. I worked as a police officer in Western Australia. I dealt with a lot of, you know, traumatic situations as a police officer. I went to every single job you can imagine. I went to suicides. I went to sudden deaths, car accidents, domestic violence situations, pub brawls.
I ran drug warrants at the last station that I was at. I literally went to every job that you can imagine. You know, ones involving kids. I went to. [00:17:00] Assault everything. Okay. I saw a lot of humanity that was really, really sad and really, really messed up. Now I felt like the work that I was doing was just slapping a bandaid as a cop.
There's only so much you can do you deal with the same people over and over the same families over and over. And I felt like I was just slapping a bandaid on all the time. And I struggled with that. I actually wanted to make a difference. I actually wanted to be there for people in their darkest hours. And helped actually make a difference in their life. So policing wasn't for me long-term but I loved it and it was an incredible experience.
And I'm so grateful that I was a cop. Fast forward years. Through my own, wanting to develop myself, wanting to work on myself and wanting to heal. If some things from my past, like I was raised in a very strict religious cult in Tasmania, and I wanted to start to unpack and start to heal from some of those things in my early thirties. It then sent me on a rabbit hole. Oh, plus I went through a divorce plus I went through a miscarriage.
It was really painful, just different things, [00:18:00] right. But it sent me on a rabbit hole of studying different modalities over years and wanting to just develop myself then turned into wanting to help other people. So I'm very passionate about these topics and about healing and self healing, because I don't believe in healers that might be controversial in itself.
I'm about to get to trauma, like my original train of thought. I haven't forgotten. It's still stuck there inside of my head. I go off on tangents, but I don't believe someone heals you. I know that can be controversial. Yes. There are people who have incredible giftings in this life, in the healing arts, right.
People that have a natural proclivity to doing really well and to excelling in certain healing modalities. Right. Some people, I believe in reincarnation, some people can carry on gifts potentially from other lifetimes. Right? If you believe in Maria reincarnation, you may think the same way. Right?
So people have natural giftings, just like some [00:19:00] people are naturally gifted at. Playing basketball. Some people are naturally gifted at, you know, working out where the patterns I'm just looking up in the sky right now, working out different weather patterns and have a awesome gifting and understanding, you know, the way that the weather system works or whatever, it might be same with the healing arts.
Some people are naturally gifted, but I don't believe their heal. You even with their natural talents, even with their natural giftings, I still think they can be incredible guides. Right. I consider myself in that pool of having a natural gifting for this kind of work. I bloody love it. I can be an incredible guide.
I can be an incredible mentor, but I don't heal anybody. I've worked with clients. I haven't healed anybody. Right. That's not what happens. I guide people. My services are on hold, but I guide people when I work with clients to heal themselves. Right. It's your own innate intelligence that kicks into gear.
Nobody hears you. Let me make that clear, but anyway, back to trauma. Working with clients, right. As I said, my services are on hold, but I did a lot of [00:20:00] recourse therapy work earlier this year in 2024. And I will be bringing services potentially back in 2025, but they're on hold for now. But what I found was most often than not my clients and just people that I knew tended to fall into one of two camps. When it came to trauma one, you despise the word greatly.
That used to be mean, right? Didn't understand. It. Thought that trauma meant big catastrophic events. Like. Horrible car accident or a war, right? For instance, a soldier going to war, I would think had been through trauma, something really big life-changing massive event that everyone would look to and be like that is trauma. That's what I thought, therefore, because I had never been to war.
I'd never been through war. I'd never been in a massive big car accident. I never considered myself to be carrying trauma. To me, it felt like I would be living as a victim. If I said that I had trauma. Because to me, it felt like a slap in the face to someone who actually has lived through a [00:21:00] very traumatic experience.
Right. So I found, I was attracting a lot of clients who felt the same way that they're just the type that would be like, I don't have trauma. Like I've lived a beautiful life. Short things were shit showing my past is short. I had a hard upbringing or sure. You know, this happened in my family and it was horrible, but I don't have trauma.
Right. So you might consider yourself in that camp or the other camp was, you knew. And I had clients like this who. Who knew they had been through very, very horrible situations. And they're like, yeah, I've got trauma, but they were highly self-responsible individuals and they're like, but I've moved on from it. I don't think it's affecting me now. That tends to be the two most common that I found with highly radically self-responsible individuals.
So you will likely resonate with this now. The thing is. Yes, trauma is a loaded word, but trauma is not the event. Trauma is not what happens to us in our life. It is the lingering affects it. That goes on inside the body. After [00:22:00] the fact. And this is why you can have two people raised in the exact same family experiencing the exact same upbringing, same like same everything, right.
Could be twins, for example. But have very different experiences and S one can hold trauma in their body more than the other, because it's not about the event. It's not necessarily about what you faced. It's about how the body responded and what is still alive in your nervous system today. Despite the event being over right. So we have what's called a trauma loop.
So just think for a second, every single human being on the planet, pretty much has some form of trauma. Think of trauma. If we change that word for a second, because as I said, I know it's loaded and I know people like, oh, I don't have trauma. Think of it as clogged up cells in your body. You have a hundred percent suppressed emotions at some point in your life.
Think of it that way. Right? Everybody's walking around with some form of clogged up cells in our body. So with that in mind. We have, what's called a trauma loop. So when you face something really [00:23:00] challenging and again, it's relative to you at the time. So I'm going to give an example. You could be a child in a classroom right now as an adult.
When you hear this, it might sound ridiculous, but to a child, it's not, I picture my young daughter. If she was in a classroom, let's say she raised her hand or your child raised their hand in class and asked a question. That was deemed as a stupid question to ask. And the whole class just starts laughing. In that moment, that child will instantly feel shame and embarrassment and probably feel highly rejected, which is primal, right?
It is primal. This goes back to caveman days and tribal days where it was, you know, Of the utmost importance for us to be accepted and to be a part of the tribe. Our life. Depended. Dependent on us, you know?
Our life actually depended on us being a part of the tribe and not being rejected and being outcast of the tribe. I have society, [00:24:00] right? So this is primal in every single human being. So if that child is highly embarrassed and shamed, And let's say the teacher doesn't step in and no one, you know, rectifies the situation.
What is happening is there is a trauma cycle going on inside the neurological system at the child inside their body. And that trauma loop does not get closed. It's it remains open, which means it's still alive in that child system. Even now as an adult, it may seem very insignificant and very small. And you may be like, yeah, I got a bit bullied at school, but I'm all good now.
No, that's still alive in your system. Okay. Whereas if there was a safe resource, let's just say that the teacher knew about trauma was trauma trained, by the way. I think every single teacher and parents should be trauma trained, but let's say the teacher stepped in and was like, there are no dumb questions in that, in this classroom.
And then it says the child's name and he's like, you are incredible. You are so brave. To ask that when other [00:25:00] children, you know, may be too scared and too shy to you are so confident you are so brave. You know, and started to really speak life back into that child. And I'm not talking about pandering, but just being a safe resource and just rectifying the situation, which would also encourage all other children in the class.
It's okay to ask questions. No question is dumb. What can actually happen is that trauma loop can actually be, come to resolution can actually be closed, which means there's no lingering undigested stuff going on inside that child's body. It's the same. When you see like on the nature channels or whatever, you watch a nature show, an animal show where let's say a gazelle is like running away from a lion.
It's being chased. Its life is literally on the line. It's about to be demolished by a freaking lion and it gets away. What do they do? They shake, they shaped and tremble their entire body. This is what animals tend to do. Right? It's innate. It is their innate intelligence. Which we have, by the way, we all have innate intelligence. I'll talk on that in a [00:26:00] second, but they shake and then the trauma loop is closed. And they go on and they start eating food as if they weren't just chased by a fricking line. It's crazy. It's the same with us.
We all have this innate intelligence. This is the innate intelligence that fires up our digestive system. Without us telling it to that, lets us know when it's time to go to sleep. Your body needs rest. Right? Our innate intelligence is what is kicking into gear. This is incredible. This is what is keeping us alive.
Okay. It is not just about the physical body. It's also about the energetic body. It's about everything all in 2021, the mind, the body, the spirit, the soul, all as one.
And this is also why just a side tangent, another one of mine for a second. So many things are flashing in my head right now. Now I understand why I needed to rerecord.
This is flowing so much better, but. This is why I have an issue with some spiritual communities that talk about only feel good emotions. Like I used to bind to that. I used to think [00:27:00] that if I was feeling low, that it meant that there was something wrong with me. Or that I couldn't manifest good things in my life, or, you know, I wasn't spiritual enough because I was feeling flat.
I was feeling sad. I was feeling anxious is a biggest bunch of bullshit ever. And this is why my message is not that there is something wrong with you. If you experienced anxiety, I'm about to get into it. Cause. Couldn't be further from the truth, but these are the very individuals, people that promote that way of thinking that you can only feel good feelings and feel good emotions and think good thoughts and whatever. Likely, uh, people with so many plugged up cells in their body with undigested emotions, because they're the ones. That they're telling the world that you can't feel. Therefore, they probably have shocking impulse control issues.
They're probably the type that can never sit still or they're workaholics, et cetera. Right. Because you think about it. If we are starting to feel an emotion and we're like, oh, that's one of [00:28:00] those ones I'm not allowed to feel. Oh, that was anger. I'm not allowed to be angry. Especially as a woman, not allowed to be angry as women. Or maybe it's all there's shame.
Not going there. It all just gets suppressed.
Now let's talk about anxiety specifically, as I said, there is nothing wrong with you if you experience anxiety, but I do want to talk about the difference between experiencing something and saying you have it because words are powerful. Words, literally spells. We know that, right, but it's about not taking something on as a core part of your identity. It is a normal part of being a human to experience some form of anxiety in our lives. That is normal.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You do not require someone to heal you or to fix you. That is normal. Okay. This is where it gets me on the topic of like for instance, stress, it is normal to experience stress stress in some form is actually healthy. But you probably don't hear many people say that. A healthy level of stress is what stops us from [00:29:00] being apathetic. Lazy assholes. I don't know why I said also, but it stops us, remain apathetic and just lounging around all day and never achieving anything in life. A level of stress can be healthy when it kicks us into gear. It helps us to meet deadlines.
It's it gets us out the door on time. It gets us to work at a specific time or whatever it might be, right. A healthy level of stress. That is a good thing. When it turns into anxiety is when it lingers. Okay. But, but also hear this for a second. You can experience anxiety, but it doesn't have to be embedded into your identity. As soon as I hear someone say, I have anxiety.
That is a massive alarm bell for me. Not that something is wrong with them, but that from it, it's gone from just experiencing something that can come and go to now they've embedded into their identity. So I want you to think of it this way. It's normal to experience some form of anxiety. Experience that means it comes and goes. I want you to think [00:30:00] of it.
Like for instance, let's think of a cut on your knee. Let's say you just fell over and that you have a small wound on your knee and now it's bleeding. You don't look at that blood and think, oh, I have blood for life. Oh, I I'm going to bleed out and die. Right. You know, that that blood is a symptom of a wound.
The blood's not the issue. The wound is the issue, right? As soon as you put a tissue on it, get a bandaid on it. That blood flow is going to stop, right? Because you're addressing the actual wound. It's the same with anxiety. Anxiety is not actually the problem. Anxiety is a messenger and this is why I have an issue with the mainstream of just let's get everyone onto Medicaid. because all that is doing, think of it with the cellular function again. Anxiety's I said is not the issue.
There's a wound underneath that is not being addressed. And if anxiety is just showing us something is not working in our life, something is still residing in our body from the past. Or if it's [00:31:00] not that something in our lifestyle or in our current situation, maybe it's your relationship. Maybe it's your financial situation, your job, your business, whatever something is not quite right.
Maybe you're not living authentically to what you dream to be living off to be. Uh, your dream, right? Maybe you're not living as authentically as you wish. Maybe the, the job you have sucks. You're fricking soul. Maybe the relationship you're in has been sucking your soul for years, but you're too scared to do something about it.
And I'm saying all this with love because I've been there. I have been there. What happens is anxiety is just coming up as a messenger to say there is a core wound underneath. There is something that is not working either from our past or from our current lifestyle. And the problem is we go to doctors and doctors put us on medication again, no shame, but let's talk about it.
Put us on medication and all that does, is it suppresses the messenger? It does nothing to get to the [00:32:00] actual wound. It does nothing to get to the root cause it now is not only is our core wounds still suppressed, but now the messenger is suppressed. This is why when people come off medication they're back at square one, if not worse, because now we've got more symptoms and more side effects. Nothing was actually addressed at the root cause. As a, as I said before, pharmaceutical companies. Thrive on us being reliant on them. They thrive.
They win. When we are part of their sixth system. I also want you to think of it as a sky. I heard this awesome analogy. I did not make this up. I can't remember who originally came up with it. In fact, I don't know. I just heard it being retold as well, but picture the sky. I want you to picture yourself. As the sky and anxiety as the clouds.
We don't say the clouds of the sky. Right. Because once the clouds go, the sky would have to go to, there would no longer be a sky. It's the same with you. [00:33:00] Anxiety is not you, you experienced anxiety some days there can be no clouds. Other days, this sky is covered with clouds and all you can see is clouds. Right.
Some seasons in your life can feel like there's more anxiousness than others. Some days can feel like there's more anxiousness than others, but it does not last, nothing lasts forever. No emotion is going to stay with you forever and less. You decide. I know that's hard to hear unless you embed it into your identity and into your psyche.
It doesn't have to last forever. You do not say that anxiety is you because then once anxiety, because then anxiety can't go. And if it did, you would also be gone. Like, it just makes no sense whatsoever. You can be experiencing anxiety, but it is impossible for you to have anxiety or to become anxiety. It's the same with depression.
This [00:34:00] is why I struggle. When I hear people say I have depression, they have embedded that into their identity. And that makes it a lot harder for that to then go. Because what happens is we then start making accommodations for it. We start making excuses for it. We start making a nice little bed for whatever it is.
It's, it's becoming a core part of who we are. It makes it a lot harder for it to actually go. So, as I said, anxiety is actually a messenger. It can be considered a secondary emotion. It's not the core problem. It's not the root cause. What is often actually underneath anxiety is fear and worry. I mean, worry is obvious, but fear. It's often a fear of the unknown. It can be a fear of the future. It can be fear that's trapped in you from your past. But what is happening is out incredible innate intelligence that we have while we're here on planet earth has, you know, experiencing this life as a human. That innate intelligence is constantly trying to [00:35:00] protect us. And it's incredible.
There's nothing to shame about that. It's constantly trying to protect. It's just like our ego. Is constantly trying to protect us. Right. The thing is these things can work in the interim, but longterm, they can start having some unhelpful consequences in our life like impulse control issues. As I mentioned, So maybe you've gone through something that was really hard, or maybe you're going through something now it's normal for you to experience anxiety. What often is, is that secondary emotion and that messenger to let you know that underneath it, something is not being addressed.
There is fear. There is a fear underneath it. It can be a fear of abandonment. It can be a fear of rejection. That's a common one with, um, social anxiety disorder. And I hate that word disorder, right? You are not disordered. That's another thing that these medical associations and these, you know, medical giants, they go and label things as disordered well way to make something be [00:36:00] embedded in your identity.
It is basically telling you, as soon as you're given the label of you have generalized anxiety disorder, you have social anxiety disorder. You are basically being told you are disordered there. There is something inherently wrong with you and it is bullshit. There is nothing wrong with you. You do not have a disorder.
There is nothing disordered about you. You are a normal human being experiencing normal human being emotions. Based on your life and your life experiences. It's fricking normal. It's not normal to live with it forever. Let me make that clear. It's normal to experience it. It's here. And then it's gone. It's not normal to live with it forever.
And that's why I want to make the distinction there.
But as I was saying with social anxiety, for instance, that is often a fear of embarrassment or a fear of rejection. Well, they're intertwined in one. It's not that you fear being around people, you don't necessarily feel human beings. It's it's this innate fear that is often stemming from childhood.
Like for instance, if someone was [00:37:00] bullied or someone went through a really horrible situation at school with. Other children or as a team. Right. That again can be very much alive in your system. Very much alive in your nervous system. And now as an adult, you don't want to be around other adults in social settings and you don't quite know why you like. What's wrong with me.
I'm confident. This used to be me by the way. And I wasn't even bullied when I was younger at all, but I just had this massive fear of rejection and I wasn't aware of it. It is normally unconscious to us. But what happens is we are in these social settings and all of a sudden it's like our nervous system is wired to protect us. It's it's like, we feel like we're an outcast, even though that's not the case. And our nervous system is fired up out we're on high alert because unconsciously we fear being embarrassed or we fear being rejected. It's a very, very common. This is also with, for instance, um, Uh, OCD.
So obsessive compulsive disorder, another one of those disordered words, obsessive [00:38:00] compulsiveness. That is where you may have like these compulsion's to do repetitive behaviors. Some people it's, when they do the dishes, they have to wash it a certain way 20 times before they put the dish down and keep doing that to every dish.
It doesn't make sense. It just feels compulsive. It feels impulsive. It's feels out of control. This is often. Stemming from unhealed unprocessed trauma inside our body. That may sound ridiculous, but it is playing out in a protective way. These behaviors, these actions are a distraction from what is not being felt underneath. It is this fear.
We have a fear and look often the fear can make sense for the climate. As in, I don't mean the freaking weather. I mean the cultural climate, the political climate, the financial climate. All these things add to it, but often again, it can come from childhood.
Sorry, how can this help? Okay. My message is not going quickly. Jump on medication, obviously, although zero shame, if you [00:39:00] do my message is not just put up with it and just live with it because that's not helpful either. And I know this from lived experience when I was a brand new cop, actually rewind.
When I first started at the police academy, I was going through a marriage breakup. It was a very hard. Very difficult, very painful, very sad time in my life. But I just was like, just got to keep moving, went through the police academy and then was working as a police officer. Right. And so. My first three days in the job were insane.
I'm not kidding you. The first day on the dog, someone literally died right in front of me. Right. He died right in front of my eyes on my first day of the job. The next two days, one of them, um, I think the second I get the second and third days moderate up. Cause it was a long time ago now, but one of them was a guy was being evicted from his home up in the Hills of Perth. And it was him and he had two siblings.
They had a home together and their father had died years ago. And so it was, um, handed down to the kids. And so they all had a part in the home. They were going to sell it. And then [00:40:00] each gift you. A third of the money, but this one sibling had lived with his dad in the home, his whole life, and he's like, I'm going to keep it, but he couldn't afford to buy the kit. The sibling's out long story short, he was being evicted.
So the house could be sold. Very sad. He ended up deciding he's going to set the house on fire, just out of spite and ended up getting burned in the process. He was fine. He lived, that sounds very traumatic. He was actually fine, but that was insane. He essentially tried to blow the house up was actually what happened.
That was the second day, the third day was a suicide. And I was like, what the crap have I gotten myself into like, Little naive over here. I knew there'd be like insane jobs that you would go to as a cop, but I also didn't think it would be like that consistent. So there was a lot of like, You know, difficult stuff whilst also processing my very first relationship of six years breaking down and it was hard.
And I started to experience anxiety at the police academy and then it continued and continued and continued until it, I full-blown was feeling anxiety all the time. I was, my [00:41:00] digestive system was cooked. I felt like I couldn't breathe a lot. I just was like, what the crap is going on. This is intense.
And it was compounded by never knowing what job I was going to go to as a cop. Like you just never knew what the day would unfold, which down the track, when I didn't have anxiety excited me to the core, I loved that. But at the time it was very, very intense. The thing is, I know what it feels like to actually live with anxiety for an extended period of time.
It can feel like it rules your life. You feel like you can not go on. Right. It is that intense. You're like I, and it would be the same with depression. You feel like when is this going to end? And it does feel like this dark cloud that is over you and you think you're going to have it for life because. Every day feels like that.
And it's, it's like walking through mud just to do a normal routine. You know, going and getting your groceries feels 10 times harder than what it used to making a phone call can feel 10 times harder than what it used to. So [00:42:00] I'm saying all this with lived experience, but also. I'm trauma trained and having studied root cause therapy and energy medicine.
And I'm studying in body processing, which is another trauma training. And obviously working. You know, as a police officer, You're trained to a degree in trauma. So. This comes from lived experience, but also with studies. And one thing I'm going to say that is very different to what you're here. That actually helped me immensely.
And I really believe it will help you. Is this controversial. I actually see anxiety as a massive gift. It was a gift in my life. It brought about incredible gifts in my life. Think of it like this. Whatever we resist in our life will persist. Whatever we fight against. And don't accept. Just gets harder and harder and it does not go away.
And what I mean by that is I can almost [00:43:00] guarantee that you listening as a radically self responsible human being. I'm not talking. To victims, right? I'm not talking to people. And there are people out there who actually want to play the victim card for attention, for the rest of eternity, the people that will write on their social media bios, every single thing that they think is wrong with them, every single, you know, ailment that they have, that they're immunocompromised that they're, this they're that.
And they do it all for attention. And it's like the type of people that you see on. You see video clips. I remember seeing something about this chicken, America, who was driving on the wrong side of a freeway and was pulled over by the cops. And she said, I've got intergenerational trauma. I'm allowed to do this.
Right. These are the type of individuals I'm not speaking to. Those are the types sadly will literally want to have, you know, Anxiety or depression or whatever for the rest of their lives, because they get attention for it. They get [00:44:00] accommodated for it. They get special attention and. That's not who I'm talking to.
Right. I'm talking to you. They're radically. Self-responsible individuals. You, I can guarantee. The you that I'm talking to. If you have. High levels of anxiety. But you are, as I said, radically, self-responsible, you're taught that has high levels of self authority. Maybe you have a business or you're just very ambitious.
You've got a great job, whatever it might be. Or some of those things I can guarantee. You are highly disciplined. You have high levels of consistency. You probably awesome with your health and your diet. You likely, um, can read a room like nobody else can read people really, really well. And you have like, you're very security conscious and situationally aware. You likely have high levels of grit and determination, and you can do anything.
You set your mind to. How do [00:45:00] I know this? Because you had no other goddamn choice. I'm going to get emotional. I know this from experience, you had no other goddamn choice. It was either rollover and fricking die or get on with it whilst experiencing high levels of anxiety. You had no other choice. And through that anxiety and through that determination to try to fix yourself.
And I'm saying that in inverted commas, if you're just listening to the audio as a podcast, if you're not watching this on YouTube, In the process of trying to fix yourself, you're not broken, but in that process of wanting to try to overcome this. You had no other choice, but to be a fricking disciplined mother beeper. You likely are so consistent in your daily routines because you had no other choice.
And when I say you probably can read brooms because you had to, because when you live with anxiety, you're hyper aware of everything and everyone around you. You're aware of where exits are. This is pretty common. You're aware of situations and just [00:46:00] reading people's energy and people's vibes. You just aware you're very like determined.
You have strong levels of grit because you had no other choice. Or let me tell you something. I would love for you to start listing all of the incredible things that you, I'm not saying. Let me make it clear. I'm not saying anxiety gifted you, these things. That's not my message. You developed these, you acquired these skills and these trades through living with anxiety, start making a list.
I remember doing this writing a list of every single, incredible trait that I had created within myself through living with that anxiety, because I had no other choice. I had to go to work. I was a police officer. I had to go to work. Otherwise I'd get fired. I had to keep going boss. My marriage was breaking down.
I had no other choice. I had to look after my health because it's important to me. No one else can look after my health for me. It'd be the same for you, right? A list. And [00:47:00] if you find it hard, Right. The ones that I just said, and then keep going. Keep going until you exhaust that list and then ask yourself this question. Are you willing to give up all of those traits? If it means you can give up anxiety right now.
I remember thinking that would I give up all of those incredible traits? If giving up anxiety meant that I lost every single one of those traits. No. Not a chance. Not a freaking chance, even though it was difficult, I would not have given up anxiety if it meant losing all those traits that I had all those skills and like just awesome assets that I had added to my life and to my existence, not African chance. And guess what?
Then I started to look at the anxiety in a different way. I'm like, wow, I'm actually grateful for having gone through this. But I've learnt the lessons. I've gleaned the gyms. I've gleaned the wisdom of gleaned the skills and the disciplines from it. To [00:48:00] the point that now I no longer need anxiety in my life because there's nothing left for it to teach me.
Isn't that a light bulb moment. There's nothing left for it to teach you. There is a gift in everything. Even the most hardest things in our lives. But it will continue to carry on in our lives until we actually can come to a place of feeling gratitude for it and being like, yeah, you know what? This was actually something that was awesome in my life.
Even I'm not ignoring, this is not, not living in reality. I'm not ignoring the fact that it's not difficult. But I can be grateful for the experience. And so I strongly encourage you to write that list because once you come from a place of gratitude and you're like, yeah, Um, I wouldn't give up any of these trades.
I'm telling you it can start to fade. It is literally like the clouds can go. I'm not suggesting it's literally in an instant. But it was quick for me. The other thing is doing the internal trauma work as in root cause [00:49:00] work, what is getting to the root cause and allowing your body to be able to release. Those clogged up sells like the emotions, the peptides that are stored in those cells. I can't right now help you with that.
As I said, my services are on hold, but I will be bringing them back in 2025. Through this through being so passionate about this topic, I'm actually studying another modality potentially towards the end of this year. And I think it's going to be a freaking game changer, like for myself and for future clients.
And if I end up doing that, I will a thousand percent let my audience know straight away. And we'll be adding that next year to my services because. I really strongly don't believe you have to go to talk therapy, another controversial opinion, but, and this is not against talk therapy. I think it has its place.
But if you just go and you talk to a therapist for the next 20 years about your past. It's not getting to the root cause. [00:50:00] It's it is honestly a bit of a band-aid. In fact, what can be happening is as you're talking, just simply talking about the past, over and over, talking about the problems and what went wrong, it can actually be making your nervous system, be reliving it over and over and over, and you can actually be retraumatizing yourself. Yes, there's a place for talk therapy and it can absolutely save lives.
Just like there is a place for medication. And it can save lives. If someone is literally on the brink of suicide, I think yes. Take medication. It can save your life. I do believe that. And in the interim, then start getting to the root cause. Alongside of it. K, I'm not anti medication. I'm not anti talk therapy, but I don't believe it takes 20 years to heal from something I noticed from personal experience from doing root cause work. You can actually very quickly see changes in your life. I saw this with my clients earlier this year, I had clients come to me right at the beginning of speaking with me in a session through root cause therapy.
And [00:51:00] I remember most of my clients that I worked with their anxiety, was it around at least an eight or nine out of 10? That's what they self rated it. And after just a handful of sessions, like, I mean a handful of sessions, no more than six sessions. There, they were rating it down to like zeros and ones. And nothing changed outside of themselves.
It was all inner. It was all the inner work you can literally transform your life quite quickly. So I don't want to belabor the point actually just on my notes here. One thing I did want to mention is briefly with depression, because I said, I would mention that. In the late eighties, there was studies that were done that were funded by pharmaceutical companies and by medical societies, that basically said that depression was caused by low serotonin and that we all had an on-off switch inside us. That could be, you know, switched off with drugs, with pharmaceuticals.
Right. And that's what depression was that if you suffered from depression, you needed the drug to [00:52:00] turn the switch off or to turn it on whichever way it was. Right. Uh, this was a common belief in the 1980s, and this has been carried on until recent times there've been modern, modern studies done that debunked, this theory, this was actually studies that debunked, that Aboriginal studies that said that's not actually the case. Often it's rooted in trauma from the past on a processed unhealed stuff, or they said fear of the future.
Can you see a common theme here? Right. This is why it grinds my gears. Why, you know, Uh, these medical societies that do these studies. They're actually funded by pharmaceutical companies, which have a vested interest that stand to gain a shit ton of money by the population being on the drugs. That's not what is, that's not what depression is actually rooted in.
It's similar in the way of like anxiety. It is, it is rooted in unhealed and unprocessed things in our bodies. The body keeps score. There's that book.
In fact it's right here behind me. The body keeps score. It's a book [00:53:00] by Bessel van VanDerKolk. The body keeps the score brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. The body keeps score. We may consciously have for. Like forgotten things or moved on from things. Often consciously, we don't even remember some of the things from our past.
It's been blocked out, but our body still remembers. Our energy makeup. It's still in our energy. It's still residing in our bodies. So this episode, obviously, I can't help you with services right now. That's not what this is about. It's, uh, it's about bringing awareness and bringing a different perspective that is vastly different from mainstream.
And because it's different from mainstream, it is deemed as controversial in my network of close friends and family. This is not a controversial thing to say, but I understand that putting out there, putting this out there publicly. Can be deemed as highly, highly controversial. I'm aware of that. And I just want to say that. Everything that I talk about is not just for shits and giggles it's to bring solutions and it's to bring healing or it's to [00:54:00] bring awareness.
So, as I said in the beginning, I have nothing to sell to you other than a different way of looking at something. A different way of viewing your body, your makeup, your energy, right. And things that could be residing in your body. So I want to encourage you write the list of how it is likely gifted you the space, the time for you to acquire incredible skills and start becoming grateful for what it has provided you.
And again, I'm not saying anxiety is necessarily the gift. It provided you with the space for you to work on skills and on habits. And on, you know, maybe parts of your character. That it has contributed to your life. That is the gift. And I promise you, I have not lived with anxiety since I have experienced it, because it is a normal human being thing to experience.
But as soon as I start to feel anxious, I lean in and I'm like, what am I fearing? I started to feel a little bit anxious earlier this year [00:55:00] because my 10 year relationship ended in the end of 2023. Right. That's a big thing I started to feel anxious about. What's the future going to look like? Where am I going to live?
What's how's this all going to unfold? Is this going to be amicable or is this going to get nasty? Right? I had fears. I had worries it's normal to feel those things, but as soon as that anxiousness came up, I'm like, what am I fearing? And it, honestly, it was a fear of the unknown. That's all it was.
And I just start talking to it and I'm like, We can get through anything. I like to talk to it. Like it's my friend. Like we can get through anything. I have lived proof and lived experience that no matter what I'm faced with in life, I can get through it. And it's the goddamn same for you. And I know that because you're still here. No matter what you face in your life, you know, you can get through it.
If you start feeling anxious, start talking to it and being like, what are you fearing body? What is that? What do you fear the most? And start talking to it and start giving it the space. It's just, it is literally a [00:56:00] messenger. The anxiety is that secondary emotion. It is the messenger trying to tell you something underneath is not being seen, is not being heard and is not being felt.
And if you just give it the space. Because that's what healing is. It's space holding. That's all it is. You literally can heal yourself. You just sit with it and you're like, what are you trying to tell me? And then you listen. And then you make the changes. And one of those is becoming grateful for it.
As much as that is a controversial thing to say, I cannot recommend enough. That you start to write that list down. Anyway, I will leave you with that.
That's pretty much everything I wanted to say. I love you Dealy I've really, really do. And if you are struggling, if you feel like you're going through a hard time, I promise you it will not last. It doesn't have to last, unless you say it well. Unless you make it. So, so just choose not to.
I promise you, things do not have to last the hard days become the incredible days. And the thing is we [00:57:00] tend to enjoy the highest of highest more because we've experienced the lowest of lows. We know. W how to savor every piece of an enjoyable moment and a joyful time and a loving time, because we've felt the opposite. So it is all part of the human experience.
Anyway, I love you so much. I hope that you are able to sit with this episode. If it has triggered you in any way, I promise you it is coming from love and from experience, and it's not at all to antagonize you at all. I love you dearly and thank you for listening. Have a great rest of your week. Bye.
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