EP. 02 | Gender Pronouns: Progress or Performative AF?
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
We're the reason they put speakers in your car. Welcome to controversial as fuck.
Welcome legends. Welcome back to another episode. Now I was just sitting here reflecting on growing up, thinking if someone had have told me that in my thirties I'd be sitting here recording a podcast episode about pronouns, I would have thought they were absolutely mental, but here we are. Buckle up, buckle up.
I can't believe here we are. All right, so it's pretty clear on what we're talking about today, but we're going to dive into a topic that has obviously sparked a lot of debate. There's a lot of divided opinions about the use of gender pronouns. This is what we're going to be discussing. This is a bit of an issue that has become a hotbed of controversy with obviously strong arguments on both sides, right?
So no matter which way you look at it, there is definitely strong arguments on both sides. On one hand, you've got proponents that will argue that using gender pronouns is like a fundamental way to show respect or to affirm an individual's gender identity. You'll have people say that it, you know, promotes inclusivity.
That's a buzzword you hear a lot. It's about being inclusive or, you know, reducing mental health issues among. the LGBTQ community. I don't know if I got all of those letters right, but that community, you know, challenges traditional gender norms, right? So that's, that's one side of the coin in a very brief sentence.
On the other hand, critics will say, and this is, this is including myself. So I'm going to make it clear from the very beginning, I'm going to go over both sides of this debate, this topic. And then I'm also going to give my own personal take on it as well, but I'm going to set it up right from the beginning to let you know that I do see the pronoun movement as hella performative and really quite controlling.
I'm going to go into why, so I'll make this very, very clear for you. So those of us on the other side will say, by the way, I hate saying sides, but who can view this from a different perspective will say that there is an emphasis on pronouns, not actually to support individuals. It actually. Is enforcing more of a victim mindset and it distracts from actual bigger issues that come with, you know, people that would use their pronouns.
We also see it as part of an overwork agenda that, you know, is there to manipulate societal norms. This is very, very evident for me anyway, in the way that I see it. So this episode, I'm just setting you up so you know what you're listening to. My goal is kind of threefold here. So first, we're going to explore, you know, the distinctions between sex and gender.
So, you know, shedding a light on how these concepts have evolved over time. Second, we're going to also examine the rise of pronoun usage. So looking at the reasons behind this trend and its implications for society. And then finally, I'm honestly just going to share my perspective on why I think this trend is actually more about virtue signaling than actual genuine support and why I have massive issue with that.
So we're going to dig into the potential impacts of this overwoke movement on personal responsibility and societal norms. So let's dive deep. Let's question everything. And let's just see where this conversation takes us. I do want to start with The historical context on sex versus gender. So bear with me.
I do want to, you know, lay a healthy foundation for the differences. If there are differences, what is mainstream take? What is the opposing view? And then what is my view? So let's start with this. For all of human history, there wasn't a gender. It was just your sex. It wasn't actually until the mid 20th century that we saw That scholars like a guy by the name of John Money, who I'm about to go into in a second.
He is a very controversial figure in this space, but he began to argue and others that there are distinct differences between sex and gender, that gender is actually a whole separate concept. Feminist theorists and gender scholars in the 1970s in particular further developed this idea, which then led to the broader understanding that we have today that Sex is one thing and gender is a spectrum, right?
That you can change it based on a whole bunch of reasons. This shift has sparked significant debate with some even viewing it as an important step towards being inclusive. Others like myself, see it as part of a very overwoke agenda. So before I get into the controversial figure of John Money, let's just quickly, very quickly talk about what is sex.
What is sex today and what is gender today? What is considered mainstream? What is being pushed by these movements? So, what is sex? Sex refers to the biological attributes that obviously determine whether you are a male or female based on gender. Uh, you know, our physical and our physiological features.
And this isn't just humans. This is organisms, including humans. It's not just humans. Okay. Let me make that clear. So obviously we have our chromosomes. So females have XX chromosomes, males have XY. We have hormone levels that are different. So typically females have higher levels of oestrogen. So these are different sex hormones.
Males, it is typically testosterone. So males have high testosterone. Females have higher oestrogen. We also have our reproductive and our sexual anatomy. So there's physical structures such as ovaries and testes and you know, a vagina, a penis. So these are all different parts of what make us men and women.
So that's not to say that if a female has had her ovaries removed, now all of a sudden she's a male, right? It's more than just one part of you. But this is typically all of these things together, come together and create what is a man and what is a woman. So that is the two sexes as there is only two sexes.
Now, what is gender? This is the part that is seen as more of a fluid You can change it based on so many different things these days. So what is considered gender? Well, it refers to roles, behaviors, activities, expectations that a society considers appropriate for men and women and other gender identities.
And I'm adding that in because I I'm trying to, you know, paint both sides for you. So it is considered a social and cultural construct rather than a biological one. So in previous times, as I said, for all of human history, there was just sex. If anyone ever considered, Oh, what's gender, it would just be what your sex is, right?
You didn't choose your sex. It's what you were born with. Now is, you know, people say that there is obviously your sex, but you get to choose what gender you are. So regardless of what you were born as. So you've got your gender identity, which is how someone can perceive themselves, how you know, whatever they can call themselves that is different from their biological sex.
So this could be, for instance, you've got male, female. So, you know, one day someone may consider themselves to be a male. The next day they can say, I'm now female. I now identify as a female. You've got transgender, non binary, genderqueer, agender. There's all different gender identities. Now I actually cannot keep up with how many there are.
Then you've got gender expression, which I think is cool. It's like how we present ourselves. You know, it's how we present our gender to the world. It can be expressive. So different forms of how we present ourselves, different clothing, hairstyles, you know, all of that. You've got your cultural and your social influence, which is your gender roles and expectations, which can vary widely across different cultures and different societies.
So obviously the main thing I'm talking about is gender identity when it comes to using pronouns. So you've got your different categories. Obviously transgender is where someone is assigned at birth. For instance, a man, like a boy. So they're a male, they're born a male, but they choose. to change their sex to female.
Now that does not make them a female. And I'm going to get into this later on, but they identify as a female. Now they can go through and have sex change, whatever. So they would now be, if they were born male, but now they identify as a female, then they would be considered a trans woman and vice versa.
They could be born a female, and then they change their sex and they want to live as a male. Therefore they're considered a trans male. Non binary is different. That is where they say their identity just doesn't fit strictly within the traditional categories of male or female. So it could be a mix of both or neither or something else completely different, which when it's something else completely different, that is taking it to a whole nother level.
That's where you have people identifying as like dogs and want you to bark at them or cats and want you to meow at them. And like, that's Pretty fucking scary. Then you've got other areas or other categories, you know, gender, queer, agender, as I mentioned before, I'm not going to get into all of them. You can do your own research, but in a nutshell, this whole push, this whole movement has come from, you know, people, scholars, feminists, theorists, all sorts of different individuals in society that have said that your gender is based on what you want it to be.
It has nothing to do with your biological sex. So the key differences is that sex is biological where they'll say that gender is a social construct, right? So sex is fixed whereas gender can be fluid and it can change over time or across cultures or something I heard recently is that you know, you can change it based on the seasons That's also scary.
Then, you know, I could go on. Obviously, the push for this is because they say it's to be more inclusive. It's to be more respectful. Affirming someone's, their own version of identity is your way of showing respect. It's to help their mental health and don't worry, I'm going to get into all of this. You know, it creates safe spaces in workplaces, in schools.
It avoids assumptions. So the push for having gender pronouns is because it means that you, you are no longer assuming someone's agenda, they'll say, based on how they look. Someone could look completely like a dude, right? They look like a guy, but they might wear a she, her badge at work. Okay. And you as an individual in that workforce would need to, according to people that are pro pronouns and pro this movement is you would need to respect that individual based on what gender they say they are, right?
So it's challenging stereotypes they say and promoting awareness. Now, for the purposes of timing with this episode, I'm not actually going to go in depth into John Money, who was, I guess you could consider him a pioneer for this movement in particular for gender identity and gender roles. In fact, He was actually the man that coined these terms, gender role and gender identity.
And he believed that gender was a social construct that could be shaped and could be changed. So it's important to understand who he is and to go in depth into, you know, how he became such a pioneer in this particular movement and why he's such a controversial figure and how there was an eerily, you know, disturbing and controversial case that he was involved in.
It will be too much for this particular episode, but also it does make more sense to put it in an episode that I've got coming up that is all about the transgender movement at large, especially in relation to children and teenagers and it being pushed onto them. So instead of putting it in here now, I'm actually going to put it in episode four.
So you're currently listening to episode two of the controversial as fuck. Podcast definitely listen to episode four straight after this one, or when it goes live, if you're listening to this in launch week, and I will go more in depth into John money as it's fascinating. And I think it is important to understand who were actually the monumental figures that pushed a lot of this stuff in the beginning and made it what it is today.
Now, before I give you my actual personal views, I just want to quickly mention why there are concerns about all of this being mainstream. So gender pronouns in particular, that's what this episode is about, but even, you know, transgender, the transgender movement being pushed on kids and teenagers. But, Okay.
Is it performative pronouns or is it actually genuine support? So are using pronouns in bios, for instance, in Instagram, a genuine act of support, or is it actually just a performative virtue of signal or signal of virtue? Also, some of the concerns are, and I'm going to get into all of this. Is it disempowerment?
Is listing prone nouns just implying that a transgender or gender fluid individual can't manage their, like their identities independently? Also, is it encouraging a victim mindset and victim consciousness? Are we just creating victims? You know, suggesting that everyone needs to cater to the perceived fragility of transgender or gender fluid individuals.
Also, is it just A cry for external validation, right? I'm going to look at, is it, is this about inner strength or external validation? Are people just relying on universal pronoun usage for validation instead of actually creating real inner strength and also social justice and control? Is this a form of control manipulation?
Is the pronoun movement seen as enforcing the belief that biological sex is just simply irrelevant? Is this performative allyship? These are all the questions I ask. I'm a big deep thinker, right? Is this just superficial gestures, like for instance, adding pronouns to bios? Is it just superficial? Does it actually address any real issues at all?
That is my question. Now, I just want to start by saying that I have no intention of hurting anyone. Like truly, you don't create an episode like this if your sole intention is just to hurt and wound people. I'm not that human being. If you know me personally, you know that. I know that this topic is, is a hot topic.
I know that there are people that will be enraged by my views. I get that. But I think it's one thing to be annoyed, or to be angry, or to be, you know. freaking enraged by what I have to say, but it's another thing to be able to say, yep, I'm pissed off with what she said, but I know she's not trying to be hurtful.
And that's the thing. I have no intention of hurting anyone. My purpose with this episode is to shine a different light on something where people are often too scared to question. Think about it. If we question the use of pronouns these days, then we are instantly labeled as Haters as bigots were labeled as, you know, so many things were instantly shut down.
We're told that, you know, we are unkind and hurtful and all of the things. And I think that when it comes to being able to question things, we need to be able to look at both sides of a debate and come to our own conclusions. All right, so here's my views. Quickly interrupting to share something crucial for the trailblazers among us.
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I actually think truly that it's ridiculous to ask someone what their pronouns are. Unless it's really not clear what sex they are, like if it's so unclear whether they're male or female, I think it's ridiculous to ask them what their pronouns are because you are insinuating that their gender is not clear when really are you just being a woke asshole.
Now, what I mean by that is I don't, I honestly don't get why we have women on Instagram that are clearly women that look. Fucking feminine, very like they're women, but they have she, her written in their bio. Like, come on. It's clear that you are a woman. Same with men, by the way, I will admit it's not as many men.
You look on social media, it's normally women. It's not as many men that you see doing this. And that could be a whole topic for another, like for another day, another episode. But if you see a man that is clearly a very masculine individual, very manly. If he had he him, I doubt he would, but if he had he him in his bio, you're like, what?
Like it's clear you're a dude. Like it just, it honestly doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I don't believe for a second that people pushing for pronouns or people who regularly display them and ask others what their pronouns are, are actually unsure of their identity. Like let's be clear. It is actually just become an attention seeking game.
from people who continually live in a victim mindset, who gain attention from the world. If instead they channeled that same energy into actually like working on their identity and becoming formidable and unwavering within, they honestly wouldn't give a flying F what anyone else referred to them as.
But also they wouldn't expect the whole world to bow down to their agendas. Because magically the controlling agenda would disappear as soon as their victim mentality did. And just to be clear, by the way, I'm not referring to the transgender community in what I'm saying here. Like I'm not, I'm referring to people who, in my opinion, come across as, you know, those that just are changing up their identity on the day for simply attention, for validation and, and Yeah, just, just to try to get some form of attention from the world.
I'm not referring to the transgender community. I actually think there's a lot in the transgender community who distance themselves from this very pronoun movement because it's actually dangerous to them and it's not helpful, right? It's again, it's just perceived performative allyship. It's this superficial gesture of, you know, look how supportive I am.
I've got she, her in my bio. And it's like, you're, you're doing nothing of actual help, nothing that's actually supportive for someone that is legit transgender, someone who has actually gone through with a complete sex change. Like you slapping she, her in your bio does nothing for that individual that does not stop the violence that they face on a daily basis.
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Like, when you slap she, her and your buyer, you are suggesting that someone that is a legit transgender individual is so fragile they need constant validation from the world. You are disempowering them as an individual. Like how dare we suggest that they're these little butterflies that need the whole rest of the world to have she, her, he, him, they, them in their bio otherwise they cannot get through their day.
It does nothing to help them. There's also concerns from the transgender community that there is control and coercion on the world that they want to distance themselves from. It can make transgender people very uncomfortable of the idea of imposing their identity on others. They're not trying to do that.
And no, I'm not some spokesperson for the transgender community. I'm not suggesting I am. Not at all. There are people for sure in the transgender community who would love the idea of that. Pronouns becoming, you know, everyone using them. I get that, but there's also a lot in the community that are absolutely distancing themselves from that.
Transgender people are focusing on things that are of the highest importance to them in their lives. And you putting she, her, he, him, in your bio is just simply not one of them. Also, it comes with a lot of public backlash on them for something that they have distanced themselves from. Um, Right. So because they're, they're copying it.
Transgender people cop it for the fact that there is now pushes in schools and in workforces or all the places for everyone to have she, her, he, him. So when I'm talking about someone that lives with a victim mindset continually, I'm actually not referring to someone who is transgender. I'm going to do a whole nother podcast episode on this and on the push.
That I see that is rampant in society today for children and people of adolescence and teenagers to have complete sex changes. It's become like a trendy thing. There's a push for it in Hollywood. There's a push for it by society at large. It is an issue. I'm going to do a whole nother episode on that. So when I'm referring to the pronoun movement, and it is a movement, when I'm referring to it, I see it in two pretty distinct ways.
It On one hand, right? You have people who have kind hearts and some of these are my friends, by the way, friends, acquaintances, people I've met online through, you know, social media, people who genuinely have kind hearts and who actually think that they're being allies and doing good in the world by, you know, slapping she, her, he, him, they, them on their bios.
When in reality, let's just look at this clear as day for a second and let's like have an honest conversation. Really? You are doing jack shit. Jack shit for someone who is either transgender or of a gender fluid identity. You, who are clearly a woman, putting she, her in your bio, how is that doing jack shit for someone who lives across the world, or even in your own community, who is gender fluid or who doesn't know what their gender is on that particular day?
Honestly, I put this in the same camp as someone who puts a black square on their Instagram who thought that somehow they were saving every black life out there or someone who puts a Ukraine flag in their Instagram bio and all of a sudden they've just stopped the war in Ukraine. Like, let's be honest with ourselves.
We are doing jack shit is performative. It is so performative. It is all about how you are being portrayed, how, how you are being seen on social media. It is performative. You are allowing your kind and your compassionate heart to be weaponized and to be used for honestly, a sick agenda. And it is like, let's break it down for a second.
Cause this involves kids. This is where I draw the line on stuff like this. I couldn't care less if my next door neighbor, who was born a male, decided tomorrow that he's now a female and changed it up. You do you, boo. You dress how you want, as long as you're, you know, not flashing anyone, doing anything too weird.
I'm not flashing my daughter. Um, but honestly, if he decided that, he wouldn't, he's the most masculine man, but if he did, right? That is totally fine. Like you do you, you do what you want in your life, but don't expect the rest of the world to follow suit and to bow down to you and to your own lack of having your own self identity because that's what it is.
That's what it is. It is a complete lack of self responsibility on you, on your own identity, on how you move through life, on your own mental health. Like truly, but if someone decides that they are gender fluid, you do you, the problem I have and where I draw the line and why I've gotten my back up about it now, because now it's gone too, too fucking far.
It's gone too far because now you're expected to bow down or you're not seen as a decent human being. You're seen as a complete asshole if you don't. If you don't use the pronoun that they want you to use, or if you don't use pronouns for yourself, or if you don't put them in your Instagram bio, or if you decide you don't want them on your zoom screen, or if you don't have it at the end of your email signature, or if you don't use them at the beginning of introducing yourself in a coaching call or in your work team meeting or whatever it might be, this is where it becomes an agenda.
Like we seriously need to wake up. There is a push behind this. This is not just some fluffy little Let's just be nice decent human beings because if it was that sure if my next door neighbor said I really want you to refer me as she her today Whatever mate like whatever. It's all good. But like it's now being pushed in schools There was actually it was told to me recently by a friend that there was a teacher here in Perth Western Australia who was facing a It was either disciplinary action or being, you know, fired from their job because they did not pander to some kid in their classroom who identified as a cat.
Like what the F? This is, this is what happens when there aren't things in place. that, um, question, right? I know this full well. I've mentioned before, I was raised in a very strict religious church in Tasmania. I know what it's like when you don't question and things get taken way too far. It's dangerous.
And I think there must be questioning on both sides of a debate. Absolutely. Absolutely. Otherwise that's how you end up with cults. Like truly the problem I have is this now affects kids. I do not want my daughter being raised in a world. where she is confused on her own identity because the world around her is so confused on theirs.
Because I guarantee at some point in my childhood I probably said I was a boy. I used to love dressing up in my older brother's baggy clothes thinking I was a dude. You imagine if I had people around me encouraging that to the point that I then went and had like a sex change or I started changing up my identity every day and made everyone around me pander to.
my own lack of self worth and my own lack of self identity and my own lack of self confidence. You are perpetuating a victim mindset when you bow down to this agenda. And yes, I can see that there are different expressions of gender. You can have a man that is obviously a bit less masculine outwardly.
He's still a dude, but maybe he exhibits a little bit more of that feminine energy than some of his male friends. But that doesn't mean that he is now a biological woman. This is the distinction I really want to make. Yes, gender is the expression of being male or female as in masculinity or femininity of the individual, but it doesn't change the actual biological traits of their sex.
This is where I think the world is just like gone completely bonkers. It doesn't change what your biological sex is. You can't just say you're a man one day and the next that you're a woman and it actually be true. I mean, sure, you can say it, but it doesn't make it true. And I'm all about truth, like truly, I love, I love truth.
I love searching for truth. This is why to me, pronouns are completely delusional to even use or to put in your bios or whatever. If I decided tomorrow, I'm a dude, it doesn't actually make me a dude. It doesn't change anything biologically about me. Just the same way that if a male kangaroo decides tomorrow that he now identifies as a female kangaroo, it doesn't actually make him one and he can't now fall pregnant and give birth.
You can't pick your biological sex. And to me, honestly, changing your gender doesn't change your sex. If you're say a woman calling yourself a male, you're not actually a male. The notion that gender is in no way connected to what your actual biological sex is, Is really delusional and out of touch with reality.
To me, honestly, it is just enabling attention seekers and those living with a victim consciousness. I know that is going to give me hate. I'm aware, but honestly, your category of what sex you are doesn't depend on your acceptance of it. It doesn't ask for your acceptance. It just is. It just is. It's utter delusion and to me it's actually a sign of self abuse to reject the very gender that you are.
You are choosing to reject what is reality. You can say that you are X, Y, Z, but again it doesn't make you that. This is an issue I have with the pronoun movement, with those in the community that use pronouns regularly and are trying to enforce it everywhere that we go. It's all based on feelings. It's all based on how you feel.
And these are the same people that to me wouldn't follow on their words that when they say they're going to do something and push comes to shove, they're the type that will cave because they don't feel like it. Yeah. I just don't feel like it anymore. They lack that self trust, which also means they lack confidence because self trust is confidence.
Confidence is self trust. If your life doesn't have any form of morality or discipline and consistency in it. And I'm not talking about to the extremes. I'm just saying the level of having self trust and following on your word and not just. Basing every single decision in life on your feelings and how you're feeling in the moment, right?
And that's, that's when we have issues like this where you can just change like the wind. You can just change your identity like the wind because it's all based on how you feel. And this is also where I have an issue where they say that, Traditional masculine and feminine energy conversations are toxic because apparently they're just based on outdated gender roles.
Whereas I actually say that no, their lack of self identity, their lack of self responsibility and self trust are based on honestly a genuine mental illness. Or if it's not that, cause I don't like just slinging that around. I'm not saying everyone has a mental illness. If it's not that, then it's honestly just attention seeking behavior.
And look, I want to make it clear. I am all about community and not being lone wolves. I'm not saying don't help someone who is struggling with their identity. I'm all about actually supporting one another, but to truly support someone who is actually confused on their identity, pandering and affirming their delusions is honestly not the way.
That's not true support. That's when you have that save the day energy, that rescuer, empathetic vibe. You're actually disempowering that individual who is confused on their identity. Putting pronouns in your bio, to me, is a sure sign of people pleasing behaviors, because it's all about the perception that others hold of you, and you're actually micromanaging that perception.
To actually support someone who is genuinely confused on their identity, don't affirm their delusions. Like, don't affirm that. That's not helpful. You are not helping. You are being a people pleaser. Instead, start to encourage radical self responsibility, self control, self trust, like these fundamental self identity behaviors and, you know, the core parts of our identity that make us strong and formidable and unwavering and actually, like, resilient human beings.
Support them in sorting out their health. Support them in sorting out, like, sort their shit out in life, honestly. You're also unconsciously, I think, being a saviour. If you use pronouns because you're implying that people aren't comfortable in their identity without you declaring yours. Even though yours is fucking obvious.
Again, you're a woman. You're clearly a woman and you've got she, her in your bio. You are trying to be a saviour. Yes, I know you might not be consciously, but it comes off that way. To me, you're being a saviour. You're implying that people aren't comfortable in their own identity without you declaring your obvious identity to the world.
You actually get to be the hero. And this is, this is something that does grind my gears. You get to be the hero, while the rest of us are the haters. The rest of us are the bigots. The rest of us are the, you know, the arseholes of society. You get to be the hero in this messed up world. Story because it's based on people pleasing energy to me.
I just want to make it clear. The world does not bend to Someone's lack of self identity to their whims to their demands to their tantrums to their self centered delusions And I know this sounds harsh. I'm talking about people who are doing it for attention Those that just do it simply for attention seeking behaviors.
The world does not bend to your whims to your demands and to your tantrums. That's not how the world works. And this is also where I do put some level of blame on even the educational system. Because we went from having running races, and this is a simple way of looking at it, running races where someone would come first, someone would come second, somewhere would come, someone would come third, and the rest of us were not fast enough.
We didn't win. And that's okay. I never got a prize for coming eighth when I was at school. I didn't get some trophy or some medal hung around my neck because I came 15th out of, you know, 20 runners. Like, no, you sucked. Put in some work, put in some effort, and you'll get better. Don't go and cry about it.
Suck it up. Like, we've gone from that to now everybody gets a medal. And now everybody gets pandered to. Everybody gets to throw tantrums and we'll all just bow down to their self centered delusions. And it's, that's just not how the world works. And look, I want to say two points. I know that right now I'm sounding very harsh.
I get that. I'm about to address why I am so firm on this because of how the crap did we get here. But before I get into that, I just want to say. I've put myself in the shoes of say parents who are going through it with their teens or their children even. I just think, like for instance, if I was in that situation as a parent where let's say I had a child, a teenager who was at school, who was doing really, really well, you know, socially, you know, And all of a sudden, you know, that, that child, that teenager was being groomed by their social circle or by the educational system or society at large.
And over time they changed and they started to get very confused about their identity. Like I put myself in that parent's shoes and how hard that would be. Like I have the utmost empathy and care and consideration for the parents and also for the teenager that is going through that. That would be very difficult.
I don't have that same level of compassion though for parents that are actually grooming their kids and they're the ones that are actually trying to turn their kids into being, for instance, transgender or being confused about their identity. I have zero compassion for those parents. I think that is a form of abuse.
And back to me being harsh, right? I know I will be called that amongst many things, but okay, well, how did we get here? Why am I being so firm and so harsh on this? Topic, even though I still have compassion within me. Why? How did we get here? You think about it, right? These type of things start from the academic world.
You'll have, as I said earlier in this episode, people that are theorists and you know, they'll be, you know, in the academic world at large, they'll be pushing for this. They'll put out books and you know, they'll start to put questions out there, and then it turns into theories. So different theories are starting to be looked at and discussed in schools and education.
And then it goes broader, it goes into activism. So then it becomes a part of the community. So then you've got, you know, your activist groups and your movements, and there'll be parades and there'll be all sorts of things, right? And then it starts to infiltrate. And I think this is where it really starts to have impact.
And it definitely did in this particular movement. When it starts to get into the media and pop culture, because once you get into those, it becomes mainstream, right? So then you started to see a lot of representation in media, in different shows. And you start to see like celebrities, like for instance, Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox, and, you know, they'll be speaking on trans issues and the broader audience.
And then you'll have, you know, the internet and social media gets involved and it becomes It's seen as, you know, this is, this is becomes normal. It becomes seen as like, this is just a normal part of life and you start to normalize things that previously you were like, what the crap, this is not, no, this is not it.
And I guarantee a lot of people listening to this will be like, yeah, you're right. Like I, when I first, this was introduced to me, you're like, what the crap? No. And then it starts to become normalized. And then you start to question yourself, like, am I actually an asshole for saying, I don't agree with this.
And you do, you start to question yourself. And honestly, this is why I draw a very hard line because once things are infiltrated in our minds by media, by institutions, by society, by the status quo, you start to, like as a society, you start to accept things and normalize things that once you wouldn't have.
That at one point, and not because you're, you're reevaluating things and changing your outlook and changing your view on things because you actually think that it's a good thing. That's different. I think that's growth. I'm saying, no, you still don't actually agree with it, but you're too scared to say anything.
Or you still don't actually agree with it, but you think you have to, otherwise you're going to be labeled as a bigot or you'll lose your business or you'll lose X, Y, Z. That's why I draw a hard line. As I said, on one hand, you have people with kind hearts, right? Who I think those kind hearts have been weaponized.
You have this kind and compassionate heart. I get it. I get it. I have sat with this for months. Months. Months. Really sat with this. In fact, for a few years, not with this, not with doing this as a, as a episode, I mean sat with this topic because I have to admit when I first left religion, right? When I first left, like the strict religious upbringing that I had, I went really far the other side where I was like, F everything.
And I'm going to come up with my own way of viewing the world, which was awesome. And I started to think about topics like this, like truly. And I sat with it and I was like, why, why, why is this happening? And, and, you know, really wanting to have a compassionate heart and understanding. And I'm sure that there are people who are genuinely confused and I'm about to touch on this.
Genuinely confused on their identity. And I do have compassion for them. I have compassion for how that must feel, moving through life, having no freaking clue who the crap you are. Like, that's tough. And I actually started to wonder, is this because maybe we've lived so many lifetimes before, right? Just bear with me for a second.
Maybe we've lived so many lifetimes before that we've been, you know, some lives we've been female, some lives we've been male, and it's just been so much over time That, you know, maybe for instance, the last 10 lives you've lived, you've been a male, but now in this lifetime, you were born into a female body, but you were like, what?
I feel like I'm a dude. Like, I feel like I'm meant to be a man. That was one way I went with it. I was like, could that be a reason? And listen, I'm just a deep thinker. I am such a deep thinker. I love philosophical chats. I love the big questions in life. And often we don't have answers. That's what I love about philosophy.
It's the questions, but not always the answers. Whereas with something like strict religion, it's the answers, but don't you dare question. That's why I'm more of a philosophical, philosophical questioner, but as I said, I do believe compassion and kindness go a long way, but if you have a really kind and compassionate heart and so your way of helping is by slapping she, her in your bio, when you're clearly a woman, I would encourage you to lean into that and actually ponder how are you helping?
And what are you trying to do? Like, who are you trying to help and how is it actually helping? As I said before, it's no different than chucking a black square on your Instagram grid thinking you're saving all of black lives out there or showing that you're an ally to black lives or Putting a Ukraine flag in your bio and all of a sudden you've stopped the war in Ukraine.
Like, let's be honest with ourselves. How are you actually helping? One of the things I keep hearing is, well, it's just the decent thing to do. Is it? How? Like, let's break that down. How is that actually being decent? You are clearly a fucking woman. How is putting she, her in your bio being decent? Like, it makes no sense when you actually break it down to the core basic fundamentals of the debate and of the conversation.
How are you actually helping anybody? You are just pandering to an overwoke social justice movement. So on the other hand, the way I view it is you have a bunch of hurting children walking around in adult bodies who are actually now the type to wear badges of trauma for pity. Now stick with me on this.
I am trauma trained. I've done extensive studies in trauma. I'm an ex police officer as well. I have dealt with a lot of traumatic experiences, trauma in life. So stick with me. I honestly see this overwoke social justice movement, as I call it, being perpetuated by a bunch of adults that are actually hurting children inside.
Who have, you know, Being hurt in life, which we all have, to varying degrees, but what I see this as, these are the type of individuals who instead of working on themselves and wanting to become the most resilient, strong, self responsible, self trusting, self confident, formidable, and unwavering individuals on the planet, instead of that, they're They've traded that in for badges of trauma, for pity, for acceptance, for attention.
And as honestly, as a way to get away with shitty behavior in life. These very same individuals that I'm referring to, they don't come across as the type to have any drive to want to heal and to want to change for the better. Because then they lose their badges of I'm someone who got hurt. And therefore, I get to control the population at large.
I get to, you know, make the population at large bow to my weak willed agenda of obeying my every command. I'm going to scream, I'm going to throw a tantrum, and I'm going to have you labelled as anti LGBTQ. I'm going to have you labelled as a bigot. I'm going to have you labelled as a hater, or as transphobic.
I'm going to get you cancelled. I'm going to get you vilified by the mob for not labeling me correctly. These are the very same people who I see would sue McDonald's for their hot pie being too goddamn hot. Like, these are the type who are continually looking for pity, for attention, for validation, and they're seeking it from outside of themselves.
This is an unquenchable thirst. It has to come from within. Yes, I'm painting a picture that probably sounds pretty hard, right? I get it. But truly this is how I've, I've begun to see this. It's, it's two sides. So those that are for pronoun use and for this gender fluid society, you tend to be in either one of those two camps.
You are the one with the really kind heart. Like you're a good human being and you just genuinely want to be kind to people and you want to be inclusive and you want to be respectful. And your kind, respectful heart is being hijacked by individuals. who are pushing an agenda that honestly, if it continues to go the way that it's going, it's a dark fricking place for our children to be grown up in.
When you get in a child's head and start confusing them about who the crap they are, you are a sick individual. Truly, you are a sick individual. There are parents out there who deliberately plant seeds of doubt into their children's mind. Because they get attention from their children being confused on who the fuck they are and that to me is a form of abuse.
So my hot take, truly my hot take, is get the pronouns out of your bio. This is my hot take, right? I understand there will be people who disagree and who will see me as, An absolute bigot for this episode. I understand. And I'm not saying you're wrong. Listen, I'm not saying you're wrong. I understand that my views come from the way that I was raised, come from my own self identity, come from the society that I live in, come from the way that I look after my body.
Do I eat well? Do I exercise? Do I sit in the sun? Do I drink enough water? Do I sleep well? What's my relationships like? What, what's my family dynamics like? Right? All of us, the way that we move through life is based on so much. Our shadow signs, the unhealed aspects of us. So my view on this topic comes from obviously my worldview, my beliefs, my values.
I understand that. I'm not saying you're wrong. If you think I'm an absolute asshole for this. conversation and for this episode, I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm also not saying you're right. I truly think we need to get rid of the pronouns in our bio and stop bowing to an overwoke few who think that they have some form of freaking control over the many.
Because I'm telling you, if you're one of those individuals who thinks you have some form of control over all of us, because you want us to pander to your lack of own self identity, You truly think you have some form of control. I'm telling you, you don't. If you have the pronouns in your bio and you actually do have a good heart and you have good intentions, maybe look into how are you actually helping anything?
Because in my opinion, you're actually just perpetuating spoilt brats who will stop at nothing to push their ideologies onto the world. And if you're on the other hand, and you're part of the sick and controlling agenda, then you're not actually going to like it around here truly. Cause Here, we refuse to bow to your orders.
Like, I'm serious. This is, this is not the place. You're not going to enjoy it. Yes, there are two genders. Yes, there are two sexes. And if you want to live with a fluid identity, go for it, like truly go for it, but just don't expect the rest of the world to bow to your mentality or like your idea of what makes a man or what makes a woman or what makes an effing tree for that matter.
Like, live your life how you want to. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but just don't expect the rest of us to start playing into your victim game. Because we're far from that. Like we, anyone who listened to this podcast, like we are not the type to live with a victim mindset. I'm not saying we never do.
I'm not saying that. Of course we do. The moment that we get angry because someone cut us off on, you know, a freeway and got in front of us and we start having a fit about it, we have gone into a momentary victim mindset. So I'm not suggesting that we don't, but we don't live in it continually. We're far from that.
We take radical responsibility for our lives. And this honestly is not happening on our watch for our children, for the future generations. Like if you are someone, and I highly doubt someone listening to this would fall in this category, but if you are someone who is gender fluid, who is very confused on who they are, I highly, highly encourage you to actually seek help and to start addressing the trauma within and to actually channel the time and energy that you have into being angry that people aren't.
you know, saying the right gender, then if they're misgendering you, the time and energy that you channel into that, if you actually channeled it into becoming the strongest version of yourself, rather than someone who is like super easily wounded by how, you know, someone refers to you, honestly, you would become the strongest, strongest individual.
Like truly, and I actually feel like this parade of wanting everyone to bow down to whatever gender you decide you are that day and getting angry if they're misgendering you. I actually think that that would fade into the background if you started to truly go within and start to heal because none of it is actually going to make you feel secure in yourself.
It's an inside job. It has absolutely nothing to do with what people refer to you as. In fact, you will no longer give a flying F what people refer to you as. And this is the thing with pronouns, right? She, her, he, him. They're actually about someone. They're not something that you would say to them, right?
It's how you, they are words that are used to describe someone. This is my issue that I also have with the pronouns, right? Because if you think about it, if I'm putting she, her in my bio, it's because I'm wanting people to refer to me as that, when they're talking about me. It's not something that they would say in conversation just with me, right?
Therefore, I also see it as playing into a victim mindset because it's super controlling over the narrative of, you know, what people call you. Right? It's being over consumed with how people refer to you. I'm telling you, when you become radically self responsible and actually work on being so strong within yourself, you do not give a flying F how people refer to you.
Like you just don't. If someone called me a dude, I wouldn't care because I know what I am. That's the difference. You know who you are from within. Most people that I've come across, both in person, right, actual people that I personally know, or online, who say they're non binary or, you know, they're gender fluid, and they change their identity regularly, truly, and this may sting, but this is my honest to God truth, there is nothing about them or their lives that I actually find enviable.
As in, let me break this down, they don't come across as super radically self responsible. They They're usually not the epitome of inner strength, of resilience. They don't usually display the highest levels of health and fitness or, you know, strong levels of confidence. Yes, there's an element of like pseudo confidence, which is actually more of like obnoxiousness as in, you know, Oh, you're going to call me what I want you to, or I'm going to scream and throw a tantrum.
Right? It's that fake confidence. They appear truly to lack emotional regulation and have terrible mental health. And they'll sling words around, like you honestly hear this a lot, you hear of depression and chronic anxiety being immunocompromised, like these tend to go hand in hand, we can't ignore this, I know this sounds heavy, but you cannot ignore the fact that someone who is continually gender fluid, non binary, changes up like the wind, gets upset when people misgender them, right, has to have the world pander to their every whim, They honestly have the shittiest mental health, the shittiest health.
They're constantly immunocompromised. They have terrible depression. Normally, I know I'm, I am, this is a generalization, but I'm seeing it a lot, right? And, and often they will openly admit it and wear it like a badge, by the way, these are the type that will literally put in their bio that they're immunocompromised or they'll tell everyone how, you know, my depression, my chronic anxiety, my this, my that, they, they label it like it's mine.
They wear it like a handbag. They're on a million pharmaceuticals just to get through the day. There is literally nothing about them or their lifestyle that I would actually envy, truthfully. And to me, this is a huge display of a cry for help. There is a lack of self worth, self respect, self confidence, self responsibility.
They can be crumpled so easily by a word, by being misgendered. So my whole point, my whole point of this episode and of this topic that I know as I said is a hot, hot topic is to shine a light on the fact that one, you are seeking validation from outside of yourself if you are pushing to have pronoun use be mainstream.
Because I'm telling you now, you are not, as I said before, it's, it's unquenchable. You are not going to get the validation that you truly seek it. You are always going to be seeking it when it comes from outside of yourself. But two, I see it as such an over woke agenda. I don't think this is by accident.
I truly don't believe that this whole thing was pushed by people wanting to just be inclusive. Otherwise it wouldn't have gone as far as it has. I believe in respecting individuals. I believe in being kind hearted and compassionate. But this has gone beyond that. This has gone into the realms of absolute control and of manipulation.
It's overwoke. It, yeah, sure it can come across as being inclusive and respectful and all those things, but I actually see that as a disguise for what's actually underneath. It's like seeing the tip of the iceberg and you're like, yeah, it's just a cute little, cute little iceberg over there. But underneath is this massive, massive iceberg underneath that you can't even see that your boat's about to ram into.
That's how I see this. I wouldn't be doing this episode for funsies. I wouldn't be doing this just, you know, here I am on a Tuesday. No, God damn it's a Thursday. Here I am on a Thursday recording an episode. I'm not doing this just for the fun of it because this comes with hate and, you know, antagonizing people.
I get that it's controversial. I understand that there's going to be very strong opinions on either side. I understand that. But what I see this as is actually very dangerous. Sure, choose, choose what gender, right? Go for it. If you decide tomorrow you want to change your gender, go for it. If you are of age, if you are an adult, do not push this onto our kids and our teenagers.
It's utter bullshit. And I see it as very dangerous in schools, where teachers can face being sacked for not pandering to a child who wants to be seen as a cat. and wants to be meowed to because they now identify as a fucking cat. Are you kidding me? This has gone way too far. I actually get very concerned for my daughter to be raised in a society that pushes for this.
So this is why you will never see me using pronouns in any of my bios on my zoom, on my emails. I think it's pretty clear I'm a woman. Right? It's pretty clear. And if someone wants to call me a dude, I'm totally fine with that. Right? It does, like, trust me, I'm that solid within myself that that couldn't even dent, even anything.
So I hope you've enjoyed, this has gone a bit long. I hope you've enjoyed, it is quite a hot debate and listen, join in the conversation. Come on my Instagram, message me, join, be a part of it. I am not here to hurt anyone. As I said, I am not here to be cruel. I will always show absolute kindness and empathy to human beings, no matter what they call themselves truly.
But I just will not be bowing down to this agenda. And I hope that more and more people start to wake up to the fact that it is actually a very controlling agenda. It's not just some cute little piesy movement. It's, it's out of control. Anyway, I'll leave you with that legends and I hope you have an incredible week and we'll chat soon.
Bye. Thanks for tuning into this controversial episode. If you found our discussion, thought provoking, share it with your friends and spark some debate. And if you're a thought leader ready to disrupt the status quo and dive into bold unfiltered conversations, then I'd love to hear from you. Visit my website or email me at hello@holliewild.com to join me on air. Let's make some goddamn noise together and ignite the controversy. Until next time, stay fierce and keep questioning everything. This is Hollie Wild, signing off.
THE SHOW
