Ep. 01 | Lead The Way Thought Leaders, Let's Redefine The Conversation
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Like your girlfriend, but hotter.
Welcome to controversial as fuck.
Welcome legends. Welcome to episode one of controversial as fuck here. We are launch week. You are in for a wild ride. Now this episode is going to be a short one. I just want to set the scene for what the crap is this podcast. What's the purpose of it. You know, what, what kind of topics I'm going to be talking on.
And then, you know, what's my, what's my vision for this podcast. And. Also, what do I have in store for you for launch week? We've got some juicy, juicy episodes. So I'll start with first talking about why I even started this podcast just briefly, and I think honestly, a big part of it was. Seeing a lot of differing opinions getting shut down.
Be that by, you know, mainstream media, social media, different industries, different corporations, different social groups. I just started to see a lot of silencing. I mean, we all, we're all intelligent human beings. We could all see this, you know, where. If you had a different opinion, for instance, to what was considered mainstream with COVID, you would be shut down.
A lot of people lost their social media accounts and you were labeled as someone that was, you know, speaking misinformation, you were misinformed and you were dangerous. So a lot of it is seen as like you're a danger to society. And then it would be like so many different topics, not just COVID. That's just obviously one that still, I think resonates for a lot of people because we're still living in the aftermath of 2020 and beyond, but.
I think that catapulted, not just that situation, but others catapulted a massive amount of fear of being misunderstood, fear of being shamed, attacked, ostracized, cancelled. A lot of people with businesses had major fears of speaking anything of You know, that was seen as controversial because they were scared that they would lose their businesses.
And it, it did result in a lot of self silencing. And look, sometimes I do think self silencing is the right choice to make. And I want to make that distinction. I didn't start this podcast just to blurt out all of my opinions on the world and just to like word vomit to you. There is a time and a place for self silencing.
Right. I don't think every single topic out there, we all have a duty to speak on, you know, on a platform in front of millions of people on social media. I don't think that's the case. Like, I don't think that we have to be crusaders for every single topic out there. Obviously this podcast is going to be a space where no topic is off limits, right?
Where nothing is too taboo for me to go there or for my guests to be able to go there. But this is creative for that very reason. So if you have a business, I don't want you to feel like I'm saying you have to speak on every single social issue out there. Otherwise you're being weak. I don't think that at all.
There is a time and a place for self silencing. If it doesn't make sense for your business, or if it doesn't make sense for your lifestyle, for instance, there are some people who want to lead very private lives. Some of those are my friends. People very close to me who want to lead very private lives, who don't want to be a target of the government, you know, industries, social media, and they lead very private lives.
It would be silly for them to become public and to have a platform like this, where they're just going to, you know, share opinions on literally everything. There are businesses out there, for instance, coaches who it wouldn't make sense for them as a coach of XYZ to then be talking about every single social, social justice issue.
Issue out there, right? So I want to make that clear. I'm not saying that if you aren't speaking on particular heated debates or, you know, spicy topics that you are too fearful of being misunderstood or attacked. I'm not suggesting that there is a time and a place. For me though, I've been wanting a platform like this for so long and I was silencing myself.
I absolutely was self silencing. I didn't quite know how to make it work, how to make it fit in, you With a business and having a platform like this. And I was starting to fit in like, and let's think about it for a second. Fitting in is wide into our system, right? It is absolutely wide into our system.
There was a whole purpose for fitting in for survival. If we think about times gone by, right. Think of caveman times and beyond. We had to fit in. It was actually right for us to fit in for our survival. Right. And the thing is, our brains are still wired in the same way. We absolutely want to belong. I want to belong.
I don't want to be rejected. I don't want to be ostracized. I don't love conflict. Right. It's not something that I'm, this might sound contradictory, but yes, I have a podcast called controversial as fuck, but I don't actually seek out conflict. I don't actually seek out like what I'm trying to say is I'm not a fricking drama queen.
I'm not out here trying to light the flames on drama. Um, just because I want to be seen as cool or a loud mouth or, Ooh, she's strong. Look at what she speaks on. That's not at all the purpose of this. I would rather live a simple life, to be honest with babies in the, in the country somewhere and live my peaceful life.
Like truly that's a piece of me that would love that. But there is also a fiery side to me that does love to be able to hold space for discourse and for differing opinions. Truly, I do think it is important for everyone, no matter our opinions, to be able to sit at the table of discourse and be able to hold conversations that could get uncomfortable, that could get slightly heated, that are intelligent.
We're not just, you know, again, we're not just word vomiting on each other, but actually be able to look at each other's opinions and be like, why, why do we think that way? What's underneath it? What's our belief systems? What was our upbringing like? Why do we hold these differing opinions? So I have felt called deeply for a long time to have a platform to be able to hold space for other people to speak their opinions.
And also for me to be able to speak mine again, not to word vomit, but to actually be able to say, listen, we don't agree with certain things, or we hold a different opinion to what is being pushed on us by mainstream. And it's healthy for different voices to be able to be heard. Even those that challenge mine, even opinions that challenge mine.
Now, listen, I don't hold back. You're going to see that in the episodes on launch week. I talk about, for instance, gender pronouns, the transgender movement. I have an awesome guest, Brianna May, who's coming on in episode. Uh, three to talk about educational system. We're not holding back, right? And in my solo episodes, I don't hold back.
I think it would be really wrong for me to have a podcast called controversial as fuck to have guests come on and put them in the firing line for being misunderstood, for being shamed, for being attacked, for being ostracized, you know, for being silenced because of their opinions. Right. It'd be all fat and dandy for me to bring them on and be like, yeah, you have your controversial opinions.
You can, you say all of the uncomfortable things. You say all of the controversial things. Set yourself up for the firing line, and I get to sit here and not say a word, and I get to be comfortable. Like, how freaking weak willed would that be of me? So I'm not doing that. So when I do have solo episodes, I want you to know, I don't hold back on my opinions.
But I don't think that I'm right on everything, and it's not about being right or wrong. I also want to say that, yes, I know I'm going to provoke, yes, I know my opinions are going to ruffle feathers big time, and I know that it's going to make people uncomfortable, but I'm also not saying I'm right. I am the first person to say I might be so wrong on so many things.
And it's not even about being right or wrong. My opinion, my viewpoint, my belief systems could be fucked in the head. I'm aware of that. Like, let me be honest. Sometimes I wonder, am I actually a jackass? Do I actually hold such strong opinions on things? And this means that I'm an asshole. I've asked those questions numerous times.
And it's easy to kind of think that way when your opinions are very different to what is pushed on, say, By mainstream, by what is commonly seen as nice or normal opinions to hold on social media, or what is being pushed by mainstream media, like what is being pushed by the established establishment, by the system at large, what's being pushed.
If you hold a differing opinion to that, you often can start to question yourself and be like, am I a fucking asshole? Like, is there something wrong with me that I think differently? And that's another reason why I wanted this platform, because. Let's talk about it. Let's be open and honest and find out.
Am I actually just a wanker with my opinions? Or are there other people out there who think similar to me and we can have conversations around why we came to these conclusions? Why we think this certain way? So it's not about being right or wrong. It's about holding space for difference of opinion.
especially those that are different to mainstream. And the reason why I say that is I think those that hold opinions that are like mainstream opinions, get a lot of airtime, get a lot of space for them. And often those topics are seen as taboo. They're seen as off limits for us to discuss. I'll give you an example.
If you oppose the use of gender pronouns, you are often seen as someone that is an asshole because mainstream. The narrative is, it's just the decent thing to do, to use pronouns and to, and to not oppose that. Right? So the reason why I want to hold space for people that do think differently is because I do think the mainstream views get so much airtime and I think it's only right for us to be able to hold space for those who think differently.
So it's not to say that I think that is the right opinion to have all the time. It might not be right for you, right? It's just about, let's. Let's not just sit in fear of what the mob is going to say if we think differently and we voice that opinion. Now I do also want to just quickly speak on the difference between, I guess, tolerance and being a people pleaser.
Because one word that you do hear being thrown around a lot is having tolerance, right? And tolerance is accepting and obviously respecting different opinions, different behaviors or cultural practices, right? But still maintaining your own beliefs and values, because I think this is where it gets confused.
People say, Oh, you're not tolerant if you don't agree with someone else's opinion. That's actually not what tolerance is. Tolerance is accepting and respecting that there are other opinions out there besides just ours, right? So I would be accepting that people hold different opinions to me than the ones I hold on the transgender movement or on pronouns or on, let's say the feminist movement.
I don't consider myself a feminist at all. Like I genuinely don't consider myself a feminist, but I'm also tolerant and have the understanding that there are people that are feminists and that have very strong opinions on the feminist movement being powerful and being awesome. And I can respect that they have a different opinion to me, but that doesn't mean that I now have to agree with them and change my beliefs and my values, right?
I think that's where people get tolerance wrong. Tolerance is accepting that other people hold different opinions to you and still being respectful, but with boundaries. It doesn't require that you agree with those views. And that is not what is often seen on social media. People say, and it's clear as day, people say, if you don't agree with me, you are not tolerant.
You lack tolerance. You're intolerant. Or you're a bigot is what most people would say. But that's not what tolerance is. Tolerance is being able to accept and respect a different opinion. But it doesn't mean you now have to agree with those views. You can have respectful disagreement. There is space for open dialogue.
Have respectful disagreement. Have discourse that disagrees with each other, but still being respectful. And you still hold self respect. You can still hold your beliefs and your values, your own principles, while being open to others and giving space for others to say, actually, I see it differently to you.
Healthy boundaries means you can be tolerant to other people. You can set healthy boundaries and have that mutual respect without compromising on your integrity. And this is where I think people throw around the word tolerance so often as a way to actually silence you. You're just not tolerant of my opinion.
No, if I actually am always silencing myself in order to try to be tolerant of others, I'm now actually being a people pleaser. There is a difference. People pleasers actually will sacrifice their own opinions, their own needs, their own wellbeing to satisfy others. I can have a different opinion to you, and you can have a different opinion to me, and we can hold space for those different opinions with respect, with understanding, with human decency.
without having to agree with each other. And if I'm continually silencing myself in order to satisfy you, then I'm actually being a people pleaser. I'm not being tolerant. I'm being a people pleaser. I am being avoidant of conflict, which honestly, that leads to a lack of genuine expression. I'm not into that at all.
This is not the place. For me to people, please. And if I think about it this way, no matter what opinion I hold, or what opinion I voice, or my guests hold and voice, right, because I want this to be a safe space for my guests, no matter what opinion they hold, let's just put the world in 50 50 for a second.
There will be 50 percent of people listening that will agree with us, and let's say 50 percent that will disagree. It doesn't matter what opinion we hold, there will always be people that will agree. and that will disagree. But if we are avoidant of conflict all the time, then there is, there's no space for genuine expression.
That's where expression goes to die. And that's where I actually believe we'd lose a piece of ourselves. There is a lack of boundaries if we are just being people pleasers and, and we, we don't know how to maintain our own personal boundaries. That's when we actually have such a strong need for external validation rather than our own internal conviction.
I want to make that clear. If I'm being tolerant of someone again, I can be accepting that they held that they hold a different opinion, right? I can be accepting that they see things very differently to me, and that is okay. That does not mean I have to change my opinion. That does not mean I have to change my view.
We can both hold different opinions and different views on things and still be respectful of each other. Right. But if my external need for validation is so strong, I just need validation from the mob. I need validation from social media. I need validation from my listeners. If that is a, such a strong driving force that will override my own internal conviction.
And that was what was happening. Honestly, that was happening. In myself. Over years. I was actually starting to notice that I was, uh, the need for validation of others was becoming way stronger than my own self respect and internal conviction. And I actually started to really despise that in myself. And I was like, what the crap?
This is not me. This is not the true me. And I'm sure you like, think of yourself, right? I'm sure you've had moments where you've been like, yeah, I've actually chosen to fit in over voicing my opinion. And listen, there is a very fine line at times between being completely unfiltered and being mindful.
There is a difference between being scared to talk and choosing when to speak. Being scared to talk is more of those people pleasing behaviors. Right. There's a difference between being a people pleaser and silencing ourselves purely to be accepted and be validated by others. There is a difference between that and actually choosing when to speak.
And that's why I started off by saying, I am not saying that every single human being listening to me needs to go on their social media today and start voicing all their opinions and beliefs. It would, it, it doesn't make sense. As I gave the example, there are, for instance, coaches, right? Coaches out there, let's say a mindset coach, right?
Their social media is all about mindset and being strong human beings and working on ourselves and, you know, that personal development space. It wouldn't really make sense for them to start speaking on abortion or to start speaking on pronouns and the transgender movement and the feminist movement and, you know, Whatever, hot topic is out there.
It just wouldn't make sense. Like it would be so jarring, right? That is not necessarily being scared to talk. That is choosing when to speak. And they may, in their private life, be very vocal about their opinions and their beliefs when the time is right. So if someone, let's say in their friendship circle or in their family, ask them an opinion on X, Y, Z.
They likely would state their opinion with personal conviction, right? That doesn't mean that on their social media, they're being a people pleaser. I just really want to make that distinction. I'm not trying to come off as some big, strong, tough askers. Look at me. I can speak on all these hot topics out there.
No, this is actually a calling of mine. This is like literally something that's been driving me for years. I've been wanting to hold space, to have a platform, to have different opinions, and to really talk about very taboo, off limit topics. I call them now the sacred cows because if you think about it, right, there are sacred cows that we used to like years gone by the off limit topics, the taboo topics, the sacred cows of society that you just didn't go there were always politics, religion, and sex.
You just knew they, they're the off limit topics, like just don't talk about them. If you start talking about them on social media, if you started talking about them in your friendship circle. You're going to be that weird one. You're going to be that uncomfortable one. The one that no one wants to hang out with.
Cause you're talking about the off limit taboo, sacred cows, but now the sacred cows of our times are honestly, we've still got the politics, the religion, the sex, but now it's also the transgender movement, pronouns, COVID, mainstream media, pharmaceutical companies, breast implants, financial systems. the medical establishment at large, the educational industry, hookup culture and casual sex, abortion, the feminist movement, traditional family structure, and honestly pretty much anything else that is deemed as off limits by the establishment or by the system.
There are so many sacred cows now, as in topics we're not allowed to talk on, otherwise you're ostracized. If you have a different opinion, you are put down. You will be cancelled potentially. Or you'll just be seen as the weirdo or the conspiracy theorist. And honestly, I talk about this a lot in different episodes coming up, but I am a real deep believer.
I'm a deep philosophical thinker. I'm always searching for truth. Truth drives me. It drives me. I just, I have so many questions and no answers and I want fricking answers and I love looking at different beliefs and different opinions and weighing up all sides and questioning and then questioning some more, going deeper than what's just surface level, including questioning myself.
Like, I want to make that clear. As I said before, I could be wrong on so many things. I'm aware of that. I've contradicted myself over years. I've changed beliefs over years. I've changed opinions over years. I think that's healthy. I don't think we're meant to just carry the same beliefs for our entire lifetime.
When we are presented with new information, I think it's important to look at that information and be like, Okay, what do I think about this? Why do I hold the belief that I hold and how did I get there? And no, it doesn't mean that then we're going to change it every single time we get new information.
No, some beliefs I do think we will keep for a lifetime. Whereas others, it's healthy for us to evaluate them and be like, yeah, you know what? This belief actually doesn't make sense for my life anymore. It did back, you know, back in the day, but it doesn't now. And it's okay to change our minds on things.
And I want to make it clear, as I said, I question myself on my own opinions. I'm not saying I'm right on everything. I'm just saying. But I think it's important to come up with our own conclusions on a topic. And that's the thing with philosophical conversations. There's so many questions. We don't often have the answers and it drives us deeper.
Why? Why this? Why that? I am that person that just wants to go deeper and deeper and it drives me continually. And I think it's time that we do grill those sacred cows that are often not allowed to be discussed. Let's open up the space for real discourse when nothing is off limits, nothing is too controversial to discuss.
Even if it makes me so freaking uncomfortable, like even if I feel like, Oh, I don't really want to voice my opinion on this. I still want to voice my opinion on it. I still want to hold space for different opinions. Cause where those are often silenced or canceled, right? I think, okay, why, why are they being silenced?
Why are they being canceled? One of my problems that I have with that culture of silencing and canceling people is the fact that what is the driving force behind that is a narrative of you can't trust yourself. You can't trust yourself to be able to evaluate what is being said. As an intelligent fricking human being and come up with your own conclusions.
That's my problem with mainstream media, with the system at large, with, you know, big industries and corporations where they're like trying to silence and cancel everyone who says something different to them. When they're doing that, they're actually telling you, you can't trust your own opinion. You can't trust your own judgments.
You're not intelligent enough. To be able to come up with your own conclusions. You are a tiny little rabbit that needs protection from us, from us, big corporations, mainstream media, government, you know, all of the above. We need to protect you tiny little rabbit. Cause you can't make decisions for yourself.
You're not intelligent enough. You can't weigh up the different opinions and come to your own conclusions. We need to do it for you. Therefore, we're going to silence everyone and cancel everyone that thinks different to us. so that you don't have to do it. How freaking disempowering can they be? That is underneath it.
That makes me sick to my core. I would rather hear someone else's opinion and then look at it subjectively, look at it and be like, all right, why, why do they think that? What got them to that point? And what is it about my belief? What, what got me to this point? I think it's time that those that are often silenced, those that hold opinions that are often cancelled.
are given their rightful place at the table of discourse. Like truly it's time to light up the freaking barbecues and start grilling these sacred off limit cows that we're just apparently not allowed to discuss. There is a difference between beliefs and opinions as well. Beliefs are often seen as the foundations of who we are, like picture a house, it's the foundations of our house.
It's what we have picked up from being conditioned as children, right? We all condition each other through life. I don't want you to look at that in a negative light when I say that, but like we would have been conditioned through family, maybe through religion, through the educational system, through where we work, through our social settings.
We have formed beliefs as children and teenagers that we likely still carry with us, that still, that still drive a lot of what we do and our behaviours and our thoughts today. And then you've got the opinions that go on top of those foundations, right? And that is like our beliefs in action, right? It's our beliefs in action.
And this is why I want to be able to address everything, every single thing, our beliefs, our opinions, our viewpoints, our values. And as I said, you may disagree with me on lots of different topics and you may agree with me on some. I will have guests on that you may be like, yep, I agree with everything that they've said.
And there'll be guests where you're like, no, they are a complete wanker. And it's okay. All I ask is one that we review our own beliefs and our own opinions, right? And look at them and either they will become stronger in us or we will change them. And there's growth there for us. But let's not silence people who hold different opinions to us.
I will open up the space for people to come on that do hold different opinions to me, that do hold different viewpoints to me. I want to create that space and I want to be able to ask questions about their opinions and about their beliefs in the same way that people can ask me questions. I want that space.
It does not mean that I will agree with them. It does not mean that they will agree with me, but I definitely want to hold space for people that often are silenced and criticized. And that's what I really wanted to say. So the whole purpose of controversial as fuck is to be able to obviously hold space for different difference of opinion, to be able to, you know, discuss topics that are off limits.
It's not just a podcast. This is a freaking revolution, right? I want us to think differently, engage in conversations that actually drive real change and inspire resilience as well. Mental resilience, emotional resilience, spiritual resilience. So let's explore these off limit topics. Let's inspire thought like this is all about thought leadership, being able to stand strong in our opinions and also be able to reevaluate them in the right timing.
Let's challenge the status quo with every single conversation, and we're going to start off with episode two. So the next episode, if you're listening to this in launch week, that will be tomorrow. Episode two is all about gender pronouns, and is it progress or is it performative using them? Episode three is going to be all about the educational system, and You know, has the educational system just turned into a bit of a scam?
That's something that I really want to discuss. And I have an incredible guest on Brianna May. We're going to be talking about schooling. Is it the foundations for success or is it actually factories for conformity? And Brianna is incredible. She's also an ex school teacher. So this is firsthand information from her and then episode four.
In launch week is all about the transgender agenda. Is it empowering? Is it empowering choice or manipulative influence? So I've got some real juicy episodes lined up for you this week in launch week and yeah, just thank you so much for coming along for the ride. I'm so grateful that you're here, that you're listening.
I promise you that I will continually evaluate my own beliefs, my own opinions, challenge my own. Thoughts and viewpoints. I, you know, do not think that I hold the sacred keys to every single topic out there. And just quickly, I'm also holding a competition this week for laundry. So when you go in and you rate and review on Apple podcasts, if you send me a screenshot for proof, you will go straight into the drawer to win a one on one session for me.
One person will win. Uh, which is a two hour root cause therapy session with me, which is just like the sessions that I run in my signature, uh, one on one programs, which is unwavering woman and formidable men. These are powerful, powerful sessions. You'll get a two hour session with me, with yours truly one on one.
This is yeah, an incredible thing for you to win. And I'm really pumped. So go on rate and review the podcast on Apple podcasts. Send me proof. You can email me at hello@holliewild.com The info will be in the show notes or send it to me on a message in Instagram. And I'll make sure that you were in the draw to win that.
There'll be more details on that soon. Have an incredible, incredible day and get geared up and fired up for episode two, all about gender pronouns. I think you're going to find this extremely juicy and spicy. All right, legends. Chat soon. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to this controversial episode. If you found our discussion thought provoking, share it with your friends and spark some debates.
And if you're a thought leader ready to disrupt the status quo and dive into bold, unfiltered conversations, then I'd love to hear from you. Visit my website or email me at helloathollywild. com to join me on air. Let's make some goddamn noise together and ignite the controversy. Until next time, stay fierce and keep questioning everything.
This is Hollie Wild signing off.
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